i want to know i can, not feel

i love you but the way you prey on my heart and body unknowingly while i suffer more and more by not breaking out of my shell or doing the things i love makes me feel like this is unacceptable. it makes me feel unworthy or useless even. i need meds and i need to see a doctor.

there once was a dragon, his scales were beautiful, he impressed some with his sheer talent and power, but he never saw it as much to gawk at, afterall, he was much different from the other dragons, he wasnt fierce, he wasnt scary, he wasnt even interested in fighting the humans…

i dont know what this is anymore

im so fucking sick of you taking everything from me

i love you but you are bleeding me out

i wish you would just talk to us or me or anyone, you two are so quiet about everything, so were gonna do the same. we went to see the movie without you, we are probably not going to release a good date for the christmas thing for you guys, and youre gonna cancel last minute anyway… whatever!

were back to this i hate talking to my friends recently, they dont wanna play anything or talk or hang out and its fucking suffocating. work is bringing me to tears at overwhelming amount of noise and bullshit happening all the time and i just wish theyd fire this fucking asswad of a waiter. kmfsnp

ugh why do i have to feel like this after alcohol i hate this jfc my tummy hurts and my brain isnt happy i need to not ever drink again 💔

useless

i miss him so much idk i guess ill cry

holy fucking shit you have got to be kidding me im happy to call you and talk about stufff but you shut me down immediately when i ask to do my own fucking shit that i had planned for the day. can i not be a day out of the weekend away from you. will i ever get time off for myself? selfish asshole.

i am over this shit, i am tired of drugs, i am tired of shrooms i am tired of new experiences being needed through substances instead of exploring the sober world. smoke weed and relax after work everyday, i dont care, but taking shrooms to cope with your environmental dissonance and dead animals?

now i cant even eat lunch without needing to be her stimulation for work. i have an underwhelming job too but you dont see me asking and begging for anyone to fix that for me. find a solution that doesnt rely on someone, use your earbuds and phone to fix that. or quit your job 🤷🤷🤷

im so happy that my girlfriend acts like im the worlds worst person when i tell her no when she starts making me do shit i dont want to do or looking at my private shit without permission i love that so much

mfw i overthink the slightest thing ever and i mentally crashout at work while doing dishes, mfw i think its most definitely from weed consumption, mfw its gonna be really hard to quit marijuana fuck..

why do i still care abt u lmao im so fucking insane

tara if you already snooped through this account which i kind of feel like you have, dw, i wont be talking to them anymore really, it makes me sad to do so. really really sad.

speve if you ever find this account i hope you end up having a really good day, you were one of the people i actually liked talking to in the group and kind of just had no filter, just as mentally ill as me and it makes me happy knowing that you didnt care if it all went away. stay yourself forever

rapid if you ever find this account i hope you know your ego is out of hand for a burger king manager. youre so young and so uneducated. and you would be shattered without your mask. please think things through.

lumi if you ever find this account i hope you figure out that being as undercover and negligent and hush hush about yourself will never get you a friendship that feels worthwhile. just because someone wants more than that doesnt mean theyre in love with you. fucking god.

you make yourself miserable under your own accord, thats your brain, thats your choices, thats your problem. not mine, you make it a problem because you didnt do anything to change the situation. you get so in your head about being an asshole, you get so in your head about how ur friends perceive u.

tell me why i constantly think about getting myself into a car crash, because it would finally either kill me or injure me enough for someone to actually care or pay attention to me for once. i would be bed ridden for weeks or months, but it would be worth it. car insurance, get a new car.

i fucking hate the way im treated

the way you treat my girlfriend is fucking absurd. you dont ask about her day, you dont care what chores she does for the house, you dont give a rats ass about her emotions on moving in with you AGAIN. she cares about how this move is going to affect her life until she can get a place with me.

how do i tell them that this poster is going to suck ass

i wish that i wasnt lied to or like, forgotten, or ignored. i know im a lot but i wish i was told the truth. idk why the first question was when something went south for once for me to just stop talking to you. you leave after an hour with me but stay up til 5am with anyone else. what do i do.

i hope youre okay, and not dead, or havent hurt yourself, i didnt mean to leave you lonely, i wish we could show you a lot of things, i wish we werent so far away, i wish you could talk to me. i check the news from your area every time you go missing and dont talk. i pray that you make it out.

that art focus shit did not happen, lowkey useless, probably would make me feel better but its all just for me anyway. and if i cant listen to it and not cringe, who gives a fuck loll

i took notice of my own conversations a lot within the past week, noticing that i only start up conversations with questions, or other people tend to do so with me. its easy and simple, and gives us stuff to roll off of. i usually give myself reason or confidence to do so after something happened -

i sat and cried in my bed for an hour waiting for a reason to get back up again, but i didnt, i wish i did, but i didnt. i dont know why, why do i feel like this so often, like really useless and uncomfortable in my skin. ghostly in social situations. im becoming quiet and ignored. do i belong here?

i sometimes wonder if its worth it to stick my neck out and try to do what i do, i just want to be nice and get that respect back. i never thought it was that hard but, whatever. people dont respect you no matter what you do because of internal morals. im lucky to have safety in my friend group.

you like sincerely piss me off every time i have my own life because i asked my friends if i wanna hang out, you never ask them, you never say anything, thats why no one hangs out with you, you make your own problems, and expect me to fix them. i shouldnt be the one planning if you want to do stuff

i feel like my friend is being taken advantage of and getting into like, distinctly edgy and weird groups of people just cuz they play mvm tf2. they asexual, but everyone only talks to them, and ignores my chat messages and my friend doesnt feel good abt me joining when they play mvm.

i might stop playing video games for a while and focus down art again, tf2 is boring, cs is annoying and mean, session doesnt offer anything, osu is like, one of the only fun games ive played for a bit that consistently feels good to play, but no one rlly wants to play it all the time. idk.

i regret so much forever. thank you whatever higher power there is for making me a weak person

tease me ig

im always wasting all your god damn time thats all im good for in the first place, right?

highkey wanting to disassociate myself with the fandom and like, not be grouped in with half of these mfs. like i hate you people genuinely and half of it is for sex, lets not lie. i cant even go to my own community events without feeling sexual tension or jealousy cuz i brought my partner.

happy to have a threads page to post all my ramblings to, thanks bluesky 🍾

why do u want to be in my skin, please get out, i want to belong here too

kill maself, call me a social justice warrior

happy to sad because someone else who says they care about me doesnt get to be part of it.

noble steed is only noble if you shine your attention upon its dark mane

amp signal cancellation, you cant hear either of them, but theyre both louder than you could ever imagine

oh to be so utterly confused and also forgetful of everything except love and care

cast civil clown

trickles of cotton numbness, dribble sobbing exclaim upon pretty skin. bleak resume.