It is infuriating how lush and dense the beasties hair is. Like I could hide stuff in there. If I was trying to smuggle diamonds I’d hide them in their hair. If I’m trying to brush it the brush gets stuck. God damn it, there’s no justice.

I have zero chill. I had to negotiate to watch the trailer. “I’ll empty the fridge, put away the shopping, hang up the washing, if you would all kindly fuck off and not bother me/say my name, in any form, for at least 15 minutes. Any questions? No? Good.”

Brought the beasties back a load of sweeties, but none for ourselves! A terrible oversight on our part I feel. I’m just gonna have to look at them all doe eyed and ask nicely. “Mama have a bit?” They are ruthless. There will Be no chocolate for Mama. Did I learn nothing From Easter.

Tiny Picture of butts. This pleased me greatly. One day I hope to own a Timy Ass Painting, But until then, stickers will do the job.

Random thing we found in the Tiergarden this afternoon(apologies if I’ve got the name wrong) - random tribute to Michael Jackson. Why is it there? What is its purpose? Is this a Jackson fandom thing we just don’t get? Like the ineffables bench?Also this handsome ass birdy. Strut!

Aww Telto, you had real pretty street art, but we were meant to be in you. Gods bless our emergency Uber driver, may his pockets never be empty and his drinks the perfect temperature.

“Sorry, we don’t have any black Forrest cake left” 🥺 “but we do have pear cheesecake!” 😍. I like pears.

Wandering the street of an evening, after dinner, comfortably full, and taking your time strolling with your love. But there’s something not right. Just out of the corner of your eye you see it. You wouldn’t expect it, not at the heart of a bustling city, but it’s there. A bear! Random.

“Your progeny are more dangerous- to the world and to your heart” say less, I’m on board.

Fancy pen was a little too fancy. €359! HSB doesn’t deal well with a sad wife, so he made me buy books…and another pen. A yellow one, cause it’s pretty. And the ink is in glorious technicolour! Pen thirst sated.

What flavour is this supposed to be? Why is it so delicious?

No, YOU’RE a fucking child and need to grow the hell up.

Been in Berlin for a day and a half. So far I have learned; 1) best green man ever 2) jeans are king. I’ve not seen a single pair of Sweatpants/joggies. 3) you ain’t shoppin on a Sunday. 4) trains/buses are on time…wtf? 5) also, this Dragon and maiden both really suck at hide and seek

Good lord, the stationary smut, the pen porn, I covet it. I want it to be mine.

Love that my Brain has slightly fizzed, because I have plain black tights. I pulled the out the drawer and my brain went “where’s the glitter? The stripes? The sequins? You’re not going for an interview, why do you have these?” my brain is disappointed in me for unfathomably stupid reasons.

Sometimes I look at my actual work, not the fics I write for shits and gigs, and wonder why I’m bothering. Who’s gonna read it? But then would they have let me on the course if i was bloody awful? I get good marks. I made people cry (😈) but still the negative voice has teeth and it likes to bite.

Every single time I write an assignment I need to go find a tutorial on how to start the page numbers on a different page. Why? Because as we’ve established time and time again, Hedda doesn’t learn lessons.

It is finished. It’s only 300 words over the word count. Huzza. Bed time. What’s that? Insert footers and page numbers? O for f…

My kids are the goths on the seesaw. It’s life repeating itself. Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset.

I love how deep to the bone romantic every single GO fan is. Even if it veers to the angsty and tragic, romance is at our core.

Maxi beastie: I don’t want to go to the park. I’m too old for parks. Parks are boring. Also Maxi Meastie: I can bounce my brother so hard on the round about that he’ll scream “no, my plums!”? Hell yeah. I love parks. Parks are amazing. a pleasant, though slightly painful, afternoon was had.

I love when you consume new media and suddenly jokes and references click into place. @gleafer.bsky.social “Donut I found wine!” Marvelous, and I’m only months in catching up.😂

So further to last night/this mornings musings, I caved to curiosity in order to find out if human and pig sperm cells are similar. They are so similar pigs are used in human infertility research. Now I know, and now you know, and as the internet is forever, my browser history will never be clean.

Well, I’ve been weird for long enough. It’s 5am, time for bed.

“I’m not getting spider-manned by pig jizz” is not a sentence I thought I’d have to write today, but we all learn something New about ourselves in the wee small hours. No I’m not Giving context. Whatever you make up in your head will Be just as entertaining. Nae, More so.

Fuck. It’s meant to be 3500 words, but your looking at the numbers adding up and know there ain’t no way your bringing this in less than 4000. Where’s that red pen when you need it?

Writers. Do y’all sometimes write a line and go “fuck it, I’m never gonna top that” and just power down?

While in the midst of a bone crushing hug, I told maxi beast that I loved him so much I needed to eat him, obviously starting with his eyebrows. He struggled free and proclaimed that I Couldn’t eat his eyebrows, because “I need them for My emotions”. Oh my God, cute aggression, eat the child! Nomnom

I love how midi beast segways conversations “mum, do you know who directed Short Circuit 2?” No, but I bet you do “yes, it was Kenneth Johnson, he also directed the Hulk live action series, the bionic woman, 6 million dollar man, fun fact, he actually wanted the Hulk to be red…” fixation activated.

It’s beautiful!

Caved to the fun, and am now listening to Dungeon crawler Carl.

So, I did do a little tiny drive of 1 mile, to get milk. Yeah. No. That was Nippy, nippy afterwards. BUT, way better than it was. So, I tried. It sucked, but nothing unmanagable.

I successfully put on a bra today. That means I’ll be alright to drive right?

How does one spell that word that means a big tent for hosting parties/weddings etc in? I can’t type out my attempt. It makes my phone burn hot and the internet freezes in its attempt to understand what the fuck I’m talking about.

HSB put on the Florida weather channel before he went to bed. “There now. You won’t be distracted and you’ll get some work done” promptly fell asleep on the couch for 3 hours, then fannied about on Socials for an hour. God damn it. Repeat after me. Hedda doesn’t learn lessons.

I have question. Digtanian and the muskahounds/Around the World with Willy fog…are these theme tunes only ingrained in the minds of 80s kids from the UK? youtu.be/1nGrYEFG6Ho

I tried really hard to watch the new Mario movie. But sleeping in the old, broken, questionable cinema seats won. I tried to like it. I really did.

Just while I’m on my Scottish pride kick today, just discovered there is an Ace Tartan! Combine the two days people! It’s a really nice tartan as well.

It’s National Tartan day @azfell-esq.bsky.social it’s your time to shine!!

Just read a bunch of Go fics that predate the TV show by several years. And what I continue to take from these little pockets of older fandom is that the ineffables are both very horny, and very bitchy. Like, it’s their defining feature. Like the level of bicker flirting is unreal. I love it.

My poor beasties. When they are sick and require cuddles and songs, I inevitably drift towards tragic little ditties about heartbreak and tragedy. He’s six Hedda, he doesn’t want Tell me on a Sunday, it’s a heartache, or sound of silence. These are not lullaby’s! To be fair, he is now out cold😂

Reading my own medical notes has been interesting. Stuff as far back as 1996. Lil teen me. Not being in good headspace’s. Wanna sweep her up in a bone crushing hug. You’ll be alright sweetheart.

Trying to teach my Children the cultural importance of Sweet Caroline…it’s not going well. At they seem to get 500 miles.

Me: I think I could manage to put on a bra today! Brain: yeah, no, don’t do that just ye… Me: arghh! The blinding pain! Brain: yeah, your shoulder is not Atlas, but those are indeed boulders Me:🥺 Brain: just sayin you could breast feed a crèche. Me:🥺 Brain: you’re an idiot.

Wee question. If the meds are addictive.if you’re not meant to have more than 3 in a day,then may I ask why does the pharmacy give a patient the equivalent of 100 pills? You can’t buy more than 32 paracetamol at a time from a shop. So why give someone fists full of stronger stuff? Confused.

Having to sit upright to sleep can absolutely 💯 get in the sea, until there’s nothing but the icy black abyss above and below.

Brain: HEDDA! Have you been buying books again?! Me: it fits second hand it doesn’t count. If it’s second hand it doesn’t count! Don’t confiscate it. Brain: this is a thing of beauty, I shall let it pass. Me: £4.50. Absolute bargain.

“This was a man stirring porridge that whimpers” is up there as one of the best compliment I’ve heard someone give for good sex. They said it off hand. Forgotten in the moment, but I thought it was bloody poetry.

Satan: she lives? Demon: yes sir Satan: leg injury? Demon: recovered. Satan: Covid? Demon: thriving Satan:gallstones Demon: tried it. Satan: and? Demon: she feels no pain. Satan: fuck. Demon: sexual dry spell? Satan: there r toys for that. Demon: we could fuck up her rotator cuff? Satan: perfect