My parents are both white. They fucked. It’s not that big a mystery. #LEW

I think we need to DOGE @loweffortwrestling.bsky.social and cut the bloat from the referee ranks. I’m going to hit Elon up on X. I mean, I do have him in my contacts, but the calls usually go right to voicemail. He’s a busy man, trying to save my hard-earned tax money from the woke bureaucracy.

Of course, there’s bias against the rich white man. I’m sorry that I have money and I was born with a lighter skin pigmentation. It doesn’t I should have to face unfair treatment from #LEW referees.

I don’t mind getting down and dirty with weirdo chicks like @vhodka.bsky.social, but at #LEW7, it’s about busting heads, not busting a nut. Vhodka, I’m going to show you that Fiscal Cliff is too big to fail, while you, like the rest of the 99%, are too small to succeed.

I can afford these new tariffs. #LEW

“I like money.” “You’re a fascist!” “I think we should make it easier for businesses to thrive.” “You’re a fascist!” “Achoo.” “YOU’RE A FASCIST!” #LEW

That was original. #LEW

I am not related to Calvin Coolidge in anyway, but I agree with his sentiments.

No, your GIF accurately describes what I think of you. #LEW

Women like @vhodka.bsky.social who go around cosplaying as fairies and goddesses are not the kind of women I’m into. I’m into normal women who live in the real world. Those are the kind of women I’d drop $5K for on Rodeo Drive. I wouldn’t even drop a deuce for Vhodka Black. #LEW

I once owned stock in Blockbuster. #LEW

Just signed my contract with @loweffortwrestling.bsky.social. It’s not like I really need the money. I just like to wrestle. By the way, LEW, can I get an advance on my first paycheck? #LEW

I bought a yacht today. In other news, I keep getting letters from these things called collections agencies. Anyone know what those are about?