All the recent Reddit mod controversies are literally just the Me Too movement but for the unemployed.

So the term "dumb ass" is an insult, so you would think "smart ass" would used as a compliment, yet it's not. Someone's ass ruined it for everyone.

> Don't go to events > Go to one to try and be better > Have a mid time and feel like I wasted my time and/or money > Repeat

I once edged myself using the Jewish space laser and that's why it snowed in Texas a few years back, my bad.

It's heart-wrenching the Popeyes FNaF cupcake is the closest I'll ever get to having Toy Chica's cloaca in my mouth but I'm glad I at least got this far.

Despite taking a fraction of the time to acquire, the effect of level 1 respiration is 50% stronger than the turtle shell by the way. Justice for the turtle shell, my beloved.

The Six Elements: . Water . Air . Rock . Electricity . Life . China

Why has no one made an action movie about a Jewish Hydra that can produce flame from each of its 8 heads?

"Honey, your short bus energy is showing..."

People need to stop acting like there are more than two genders, we all know there're only two types of people: those with lead poisoning and those with mercury poisenin, 2 tihnk oether ise os just cp,plete malrkley adn thsind id hyust herfittig weird tnbe dsky id kjkreks nrk

"Are you Catholic, Jewish, or Agnostic?" "I'm autistic, bitch."

Working in a pharmacy be like:

"6 7 is so unfunny." - The generation that still quotes "25" from Spongebob

Finally watched Inside Job, Netflix is dead to me.

Mouthwashing is not a game, it's an interactive artwork.

> Be Behavior Interactive > Make a consultant program that will allow your most loyal players to give good changes > Don't listen to them, hurting player loyalty AND making bad changes > Sell a half-naked cosmetic for the goth girl > Profit

Even if I had the power to reverse time, my adhd ass wouldn't use it. I'd rather face the consequences than relive an hour.

Why does Larry the Cable Guy exist other than as a spite from a bored god.

Why must nature's beauty be so full of distractions in a world so keen on eliminating inefficiency?

A pitbull on narcotics would go so hard as a bioweapon. What're you gonna do, hit it? It can't feel shit.

I just got spoiled Macbeth fml.

LET IT BE KNOWN: Louisiana Rep Clay Higgins was the ONLY vote against releasing the Epstein files. www.congress.gov/votes/house/...

Nothing will ever free me from the fact Asgore's fanon voice is literally just Funtime Freddy.

After a long day, a pack of pocky has me feeling like I just had a cigarette.

Call it an undertail the way I want Toriel on top of me.

Blue cheese has to be one of the most underrated types, it's delicious.

I've only known what a yeongno is for one minute but now it's my spirit animal.

My earliest morning alarm is set for 7:45, but because my first class of the day was cancelled, I turned it off so I could sleep in. I woke up at 7:46.

I thought about being an escort at one point, but then I remembered I hate customer service.

I was being dumb on my bike and jumping on it when I fell off in front of a passing group. All my stuff fell out of my pockets and one of them said "he dropped all his loot," I couldn't even be mad.

I think it's about time beavers learn their fucking place.

Most of Dead by Daylight's issues could be indirectly solved by giving Trapper a scooter.

Does anyone else get irrationally angry when the microwave beeps a minute or so after its done to remind you your food's ready? I'm getting the ketchup, I know my food's ready. Shut up, bitch, I'd skin you if you had any.

Petition to rename humans to Homo philopoda.

I miss Video Horror Society :(

An actual conversation I heard in public: "Ah, see, it worked." "What?" "My bleach alarm went off."

If all I had to do to gain followers was shit on Game Freak, I would've been doing it AGES ago. That typo is going to drive me crazy unless I actively acknowledge it like this, though.

I wish they would add Freddy Fazbear into Overwatch. Not only do I think his kit could be interesting, but I also know it'll give some dude in his 30s a brain hemorrhage.

When I'm in an game development incompetency competition but my opponent is Game Freak.

xQc being the moral compass in a controversy is a recession indicator.

Abracadbra came on and my eyes rolled all the way back I saw god he's just a 20 ft skeleton made of pure gold.

I'm so high I'm watching Spotify.

My cat wanted to come into my room, so I squatted down and gave him two options: 1) Rub my hand (Free Entry) 2) Bite my finger (Barred Gates) He proceeded to sprint at full speed before even the first fucking carbon atom at the tip of my finger was able to reach out to him.

Of all the things I do while high, somehow remembering to turn the oven off is one of them I do better than when I'm sober.

The streets are full with Halloween spirit, my town has finally recovered from covid.

I just accidentally found a hate comment I left on a video 3 years ago.

> Make all gems female-presenting > Make the main character the only male gem > Make him the strongest gem What did Rebecca Sugar mean by this?

The moment a politician forgets and/or foregoes they're title of public servant is the same moment plans to remind and/or replace them become necessary.

There are two main types of government agencies: 1) Bad agencies with some good people 2) Good agencies with some bad people

I was not expecting American Psycho to be that mid.