I fucking hate having a mental illness what do you mean I’m sad now, I just had two grilled cheeses

My favorite part of my 10 year high school reunion was when I got drunk enough to tell some random kid he made fun of me in middle school, then he apologized 8 times, and then showed me his Uncle Iroh tattoo. All wounds can be healed.

Had a dream last night Noah Schnapp liked one of my vids and I responded back “either you release ST season 5 to me or you stop being a Zionist” and I guess we now know my morals are flexible if TV is a factor

LAPD out there like

Happy pride

I can’t be on my family group chat anymore. They are like posting pics of their kids and job accomplishments and then I’m over here like “…so update: bought a new mug”

Stopped wearing my seatbelt so I can end up in an ER and seduce a middle-aged, overworked ER attending with PTSD. Sad boys here I come

Just had to pay $500 to make sure my tits don’t have cancer

Just bought a checkbook

Happy Thursday

I was supposed to work in college residence life, where the fuck else am I gonna wear a Avatar the Last Bender shirt to work three times a week

Me: idk I was just thinking we could all just simply vibe or whatever UN peace council: ….who is this….

Forgot May was mental health awareness month, time to go off my meds and make yall very aware of my mental illness

Ur gay if you are a woman attracted to men in 90s TV shows, cause those are just lesbian haircuts

You: calm your tits Me, an intellectual: insanititties

I need to post my TikToks more or else my manager will kill my family

*playing 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon* Kevin Bacon’s wife: guys you aren’t gonna believe this…

Police man reading my confession to murder: I don’t know. All she wrote was “vibes were off fam”

My siblings will literally post actual life events on our group chat and I’m like “started new TV show”

Fuck it. gendered bathrooms at my house. No man is allowed to piss there anymore

She’s from San Diego

My goal is to out-hate my haters

Why didn’t he call me back

The amount of b*llshit I just spent on broadway tickets like… why did god make me a theatre kid

I can’t believe yall let me go to film school, wtf I trusted you guys

I’m getting an MRI today and they were like “can you sit still for an hour?” Ma’am I’m the anti-Cory booker I can lay down for as long as you want me to

Chappell roan and Noah kahan only have tour dates in Europe, wtf I don’t speak European

My grandma died in 2019 and we just received her leftover stocks as inheritance, and it was all in pfizer…..Lucia what did you know…..? How deep does this go

*milchick getting the sh*t beat out of him* Lumon Marching Band: #severance

One time someone left a comment on one of my vids saying “if I was as fat as you I’d k*ll myself”, like dude I don’t need an excuse

Then why am I still working a full day

I texted my family group chat I was getting a dog and then my dad messaged back this

regular shout out to oats and all they do for the community

Im gonna start going to bridges where people famously offed themselves and leave fliers that say “Watch Severance before you do it”. And then they’ll be hooked and want to know all the secrets and have to wait till it’s over. Bought them at least 3 seasons of life

I’m so sick of transphobes, f*cking get a hobby

I’m getting a puppy in May. Feel like it should be socially acceptable to hold a baby shower in order to receive necessary care items.

God dammit if Elliot stabler doesn’t make me want to be catholic again

Watching law and order SVU while flipping through Tinder, aka research

Can someone let Rachel Zegler know I support her but I really don’t wanna see Snow White cause Gal Gadot sucks on like 7 different levels. What if I gave her $20 to symbolically buy a ticket? Can someone let her know my offer

I’m so scared of the world ending cause I need a conclusion to severance first

Just the sh*t I message my mom on a weekly basis

Why does Elon carrying his kid around like he’s a dad with weekend custody

I’m looking into getting a masters in DEI education which I believe means after I receive my degree, I am legally allowed to fist fight trump

This is at least 45% my rewatches

*me showing 20 min late to my own funeral* me: ok the vibes are off

Kendrick Lamar has 22 Grammies and a damn Pulitzer if you don’t know who he is that’s a You problem

@hankgreen.bsky.social when trump said he wanted to eliminate the penny

Kendrick Lamar deserves to win the very first Nobel Hate Prize