What would y'all do if you got abducted by an alien and the alien gave you boobs

why can't i get just one screw why can't i get just one screw

when he talks about his ex so much you lowkey start to miss her too

STOP FUCKING GUYS WHO PLAY GUITAR!!!!! LEAVE SOME PUSSY FOR GUYS WHO PLAY TABLA

you can't really be nonbinary and into degradation...you have to pick a struggle. bad girl? gross. wrong. bad boy? you sound like a greaser named tony. bad person? now you're just hurting my feelings...

Never in my life have I ever noticed that a person around me is on any kind of substance. I just assume they're naturally like that

i can only hope that if I was a Bimbofied Husband i too would have a wife who loves & supports me & sucks on my comically enormous fake tits

Guys I really think there should be a Clavicular Crumbl cookie

drop a like if you think im going to HEAVEN!!!

Drop a like if you think I should live

i feel maternal for punch the monkey. And also for Clavicular sometimes but idk what that means for me

I wish i had the hundred dollar dr pepper jacket from Hollister but im not spending that shit

A butch lesbian with a good trump impression is like an angel on the earth

not using hashtags anymore...these are my #sharps

Boiling the water in the kettle before i put it in the pot cause im a #YoungHo

he made a statement so statement, even his gang had to statement him

condom on the sidewalk outside my work today. very drinking age by cameron winter coded

Today I brought out some candy to eat while I watched TV with my parents and my mom asked "do you always have a secret stash of candy". I was burned alive

Been drinking crazy amounts of chamomile tea in the past two weeks

Liveblogging Leonard Cohen's Songs of Love and Hate rn Avalanche: idk what he's talking about but it sounds cool

drop a like if you've ever lost your wallet right before a severe snow storm and had to wait until the storm subsided to go pick it up #ChudLife

Goals for 2026: -get more EMO -get JACKED -jack OFF -eat CANDY -and pass my PORTFOLIO REVIEW

Her: you gotta be buffcorrell singing love takes miles if you think we're fucking Me AF:

i am wired to the man

Food doesn't actually go bad you all are just pussies

HEEEEEEEERRROOOOOOOOINNNNNNNNNNNNNN BE THE DEATH OF MEEEE

my new years resolution is to get more emo

If you know me or if I know you, you are not safe from having a song written about you. You think you're safe but you aren't. I'm too prolific. Honestly we don't even have to know each other and you might still be my next target

on my work break eating pistachio gelato listening to vacillator by ethel cai n looking at pictures of cameron winter on pinterest #LockedIn

We all got a homeboy who's broke and kinda bicurious

No one sees these anyway I can say whatever I want. I have a crush on my coworker

Every single person on the face of this earth is uniquely valuable and interesting

coworker came in today with sunglasses and a leather jacket on. Bitch you work at the Target Starbucks. But I gotta respect that he had that shit on

scratch off ticket 4 the education lottery

Seinfeld is kind of lesbian. No other group of people hangs out with their ex that much. Frankly he's serving butch

Sometimes people are not bicurious because they're curious about if they're bi. Sometimes they're bicurious because I'M curious about if they're bi. I am the sole arbiter of your identity

Should i ask a random guy from my class out cause i had a dream about us going on a date? URGENT

thank you for good music greg freeman

at UC u gotta watch your back around every corner but at NKU you can fall asleep in public and a stranger will watch your stuff for you

it breaks my heart to admit it but i just can't stand harry styles in any way. Im sorry bisexual women

i loveeeeee eavesdropping on tristan and his friends

What is this diddyblud doing on the calculator (slowed) (reverb) (10 hours)

Roblox boobies

my tummy just rumbled loud as fuck I JUST ATE TWO HOURS AGO

when i touch the dishwasher to see if its running i feel like its my pregnant wife and the dishes are the baby

Why does my pastor cousin listen to Geese

I control you.

Let's switch it up and write a country song about a hot beer

I think my songwriting would be better if I read more books