One thing #KickboxerVengeance got right? It at least has a half Asian man playing an Asian man instead of...this. Muay Thai one on tomorrow for our review at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

JCVD plays the mysteriously fedoraed Muay Thai master Durand in #KickboxerVengeance whose brilliant coaching doesn't seem to extend beyond shouting "C'MON!". C'mon and listen to our review Wednesday at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions.

Now reading...

We finish Rotten Reboot Month with, to the best of my knowledge, the only Cannon reboot. Jean-Claude Van Damme is no longer the student but the master in #KickboxerVengeance. Are you enough strong Wednesday at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater?

Every day is Halloween for Hot Topic goth girl Marique, who is helping her father conquer Hyperborea in #ConanTheBarbarian2011. Will Conan hear her lamentations or be crushed himself. Find out at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

How do you commemorate one of the greatest action movies of all time? Why getting a tattoo of Sarah Conner getting banged in #Terminator, of course.

Proof that Arnold is the true barbarian. Can you imagine Jason Momoa being that malevolent? The stench you detect is our review of #ConanTheBarbarian2011. The first one who smells it can retell it at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

Arnold Schwarzenegger. Jason Momoa. Who fills out the furry loincloth of Conan better? Find out as we review #ConanTheBarbarian2011 at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

Episode 380: #ConanTheBarbarian2011 The Cimmerian swordsman is back in what would have made for a great video game but not so much a movie. You Frazetta believe we have a lot to say about it at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

We needed a stiff drink after watching #ConanTheBarbarian2011. Prepare for the hangover tonight at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

In #ConanTheBarbarian 2011 we actually get some pretty cool looking henchmen. Too bad they barely get any lines let alone character development. Hear the lamentations of the podcasters tomorrow at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

An evil warlord needs an ancient mask to resurrect his wife, or summon demons, or something. I dont know. All I know is Wednesday we live, we love, we slay #ConanTheBarbarian2011, and you will be content at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

This week's movie almost killed Jason Momoa's film career before it even started when he stepped into Arnold Schwarzenegger's furry boots to play #ConanTheBarbarian20011. Crom save us all Wednesday at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions.

We already know what is best in life but this week we discover what is worst. Rotten Reboot Month continues to lay waste this Wednesday.

The director of #Rollerball2002 decided to forgo any of the original's social commentary to focus on extreme action and yet we still dont know how this stupid game is played. The game is to be seen, not to be gleaned at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions.

#Rollerball2002 is the only film with the guts to have a 10 minute scene shot entirely in night vision for...reasons. It's from the director of Predator so maybe that's how he sees the world. We see this rotten reboot in stark black & white at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions.

Episode 379: #Rollerball2002 A brand new sport, so exxxxtreme I had to spell extreme with 4 Xs, is all the rage in Central Asia. A slack jawed American doofus tries his hand at it & soon learns it's even sleazier than he thought. We're bustin' balls at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions.

Rebecca Romijn transforms herself into the hideously scarred Aurora in #Rollerball2002. Don't look, just listen tonight at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

Who needs social commentary when you have some of the most extreme PG-13 rated action ever filmed in #Rollerball2002. The cinematic personification of nu metal gets the G&G treatment tomorrow at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

This week's movie may be the most early 2000s film ever! Rapper turned actor? Check! American Pie cast member? Check! Rebecca Romijn (uglifying herself with a facial scar🙄) Check! We're not having a ball with #Rollerball2002 Wednesday at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions.

This week's Rotten Reboot is so dystopian it helped spawn the lesbian friendly roller derby craze of the early 2000s. Stay tuned.

Find out what happens when corporate greed meets IP mining with this dismal "reimagining" of an action classic. We would NOT buy #Robocop2014 for a dollar at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

You're not having a bad dream, we did review the reboot #Robocop2014. Welcome to our nightmare at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

Episode 378: #Robocop2014 What happens when you remove the satire, social commentary, colorful villains, and ultraviolence from Robocop? You get this rusty, regrettable reboot. Dead or alive you're listening to us at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

Any questions? Save them for tonight's episode on #Robocop2014 at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

Did you ever watch Robocop and wish it were boring? That the villains were bland? That it was PG-13? Well, we got just the movie for you, #Robocop2014, the reboot nobody asked for, but we got all the same. Suffer along with us tomorrow at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions.

We have some great actors in the Robocop reboot, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, Jackie Earle Haley. So, what went wrong? We'll tell you Wednesday when we review #Robocop2014 at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions.

Did you ever wonder what Robocop would look like if Elon Musk designed him? Travel with us to the far-off future of 2028 as we review #Robocop2014. Rotten Reboot Month begins Wednesday at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

The internet thrives on negativity. We all know this. And if you can't beat them, then join them. September will be Rotten Reboot Month, where we review awful and unnecessary reboots of classic films. Up first will be a hero near and dear to every Detroiters' heart.

One potato, two potato, three potato, four! Go to soundcloud.com/murmanproductions and see what we have in store! Our review of John Carpenter's #AssaultOnPrecinct13 is available now on any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater as well.

Episode 377: #AssaultOnPrecinct13 A vicious street gang is on the warpath and Precinct 13 is in their crosshairs. Plus, learn how not to order an ice cream cone. We gotta smoke for ya at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

Join us for the one thing that unites all people, our review of John Carpenter's #AssaultOnPrecinct13 tonight at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

Night of the Living Dead was an inspiration for #AssaultOnPrecinct13 and it's never more apparent than when Romero dies and winds up a zombie in New York. This and other interesting facts tomorrow at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

Finally a logo we can all agree on.

A rookie cop, a sexy secretary, and a death row convict have to hold off a zombielike horde of LA gangbangers in #AssaultOnPrecinct13. Will Napoleon meet his Waterloo? Find out Wednesday at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions.

After the police kill some of their members in a raid, the street gang Street Thunder swear vengeance against them in #AssaultOnPrecinct13. Too bad the precinct they attack is housing convicted murderer Napoleon Wilson. We assault your ears Wednesday at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions.

Episode 376 Part 2: #TheHunted It's the finale so controversial our legal department told us not to release it. You're gonna need a clean pair of piggy drawls after you hear the ninja vs. samurai talk between the G&G Boys and Weaponsmaster @jbadelaire.bsky.social at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions

We're putting an addition on the Theater this week, so we'll need a Carpenter.

If you thought Part 1 of our review of the Christopher Lambert, ninja vs. samurai film #TheHunted was exciting, wait until you hear the pulse-pounding finale dropping soon.

Remember when Marvel Comics had their own version of Mad Magazine called Crazy?

Meet Takeda, the grumpiest samurai in the world and he's about to get grumpier when he has to deal with a goofy gaijin to settle a score with a ninja nemesis in #THeHunted. We're getting too old for this at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

Episode 376: #TheHunted After a mind-blowing one-night stand, an American businessman, played by Christopher Lambert, gets embroiled in a centuries old feud between samurai and ninja. Our weaponsmaster @jbadelaire.bsky.social returns to detail the art of war at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions.

Tune in for some ninja vs. samurai action so intense we had to break this episode up into 2 parts. Plus, the Weaponsmaster returns to the Theater. We are #TheHunted tonight at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.🥷v⚔️

Tokyo has a ninja problem in #TheHunted. Good thing Detective Columbonzai is on the bloody trail. We have one more thing tomorrow at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

When an American businessman witnesses an unmasked ninja murder a woman he becomes #TheHunted and the ninja will stop at nothing to hide his identity no matter how many people die in the process. We don't mask our feelings about this movie Wednesday at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions.

This week we explore the dark worlds of the ninja and the yakuza in #TheHunted and who better to guide us than the Gaijin Gaul Christopher Lambert. He played Raiden after all. We study the blade and so much more Wednesday at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions.

This week we enter the mysterious world of the ninja with a very mysterious special guest making his long-awaited return.

Secondhand Store Score A Cannon classic for Griff and El Topo for me.

If you think we enjoyed #MechanicResurrection then no dice. However, we did enjoy a very Michigan-centric taste test of new flavors from Faygo Pop and Vernor's Ginger Ale. We put the pop in popular at soundcloud.com/murmanproductions or any podcast app under Golan-Globus Theater.

Every metal dudes' dream girls.😍