The wisteria is raucous this year. And I parked next to some phenomenal daisies in Saint Werburgh’s today.

Last night I watched the first two episodes of Widow’s Bay with Matthew Rhys. It’s got the needle point humour of early Only Murders, but spooky. Set on a supposedly cursed New England island where Rhys is the mayor. I’m both feet in…all my chips…brilliant.

The celery looked glorious earlier in the allotment so I cut a bunch with herbs and made a lovely celery soup with a hunk of spelt loaf toast I’d made the other day.

I’m wondering what sudden hunger befell the person who bit this gym mat…

Audible keeps trying to suggest that Harry Potter is the preview most like my previous book listening library.

Before the day is completely blown out a moment to say happy 18th birthday to this beautiful, kind boy.

Rhubarb and custard cake. The beautiful plants in the allotment needed honouring!

New kink… watching the badgers find the corn on the cobs.

Things worse than death: filling up a watering can from a tank and the displaced, funky air blows directly into your open mouth.

Seems fair tbh…

A year. The butterfly wing beat of her loss changed everything…some things catastrophically and some things a little. But nevertheless it’s just not the same without her. Mum ♥️

19 years young today… Snow has always been the daintiest girl. But don’t underestimate her…she’s a fluffy white Boudicca! Tonight she feasts on a cod loin with a roaring fire.

I’ve just started Twenty Twenty Six and it’s making me smile ear to ear. Exactly. #bbc

Happy Easter! I celebrated with my own egg hunt in this guy’s genitals. Yep…his biannual sheath clean. It was funky. In the wrong way. Enjoy your breakfast.

Jessie Marion King (1875-1949), Scottish illustrator, jewellery/fabric designer, one of the artists known as the 'Glasgow Girls' #womensart

Trying to get a decent photo… #fail

I’m currently paying to feed 11 cats. Only two of them are mine…

There once was a harmless girl, who was kind to animals, recycled her recyclables, and generally remembered birthdays. Then one day she accidentally stepped on a snail, or something, and it angered a powerful and vengeful god. He cursed the kindly girl for ALL ETERNITY. That’s fucking me that is…

It’s been a really shitty 24 hours but it included a weird moment briefly visiting a billionaire’s home (one of their homes I should say). And I’d like to say it was disgustingly gaudy…but it was beautiful.

I panicked that Lewis might get colic and no one would know if it happened at night. So there’s a camera to monitor him. But I’ve already had to sign up to more data as I’ve just been watching him thinking how lovely he is!

…ten badgers descended last night. The move in around 30 mins after the foxes get first dibs. I’m a bit baffled about the number though as it’s more than the typical max number in a sett.

Me shooting clay rats in the mendips on Thursday. I do love clay shooting. Much more ‘feedback’ than shooting a paper square!

I watched One Battle After Another last night and it’s a weird one. I hated it for the first hour. HATED. Then it shifted from the point where Perfidia becomes the rat and it was brilliantly gripping. The switcheroo on who had the upper hand was like a deadly chuckle brothers.

First Mother’s Day without mum. She loved this time of year in her mountain garden. I know she’d enjoy seeing me sow seeds ready for planting in the allotment. Weird that after hating gardening my whole life she seemed to hand me her cosmic secateurs when she left. Miss you mum♥️

At long last, I’m a muse… www.instagram.com/p/DV3Nh4wDcC...

At some point in the following six years I made the incredibly ill judged decision to get rid of this shirt!

Here’s some sweet footage of Three Legs diligently cleaning one of last year’s cubs. Given that Manky tail, his pregnant vixen, hasn’t appeared for a few nights it’s likely she’s had her new babies and is staying in the den with them.

A week ago, while suffering with a bad chest infection. I drove to Winchester to make sure I was at my sister’s party. I couldn’t stay overnight as I had to get back to care for my 19 year old cat. So I drove home in the wee hours feeling utterly grim.

Today I went to a funeral of a family friend (who was an Anglican priest), and the Archbishop came. I was brought up in the church (not sure if that’s surprising or not) so she’s pretty famous in these circles as she’s the first woman and first gay partnered bishop in the UK.

My new thesis: the creation of infinite wormholes of mucus behind my fucking sinuses.

I’ve hardly eaten since Friday night because of this virus trying to eat a jacket potato early suffocated me on Saturday so I’ve been a bit anxious as well as not very hungry). And I’ve also not been to the gym. I hope I don’t end up looking like an empty sausage skin!

I ddathlu'r tair duwies - mam, morwyn, hen wraig. Bydd y ddraig goch yn dangos y ffordd. 🖤

I woke up today with one of those awful sore throats that starts high up behind your nose… the topical sprays aren’t touching it and I’m too bunged up to sniff anything in. This is why I’m trying to move to a remote forest. Preferably on a remote island. In an uncharted section of the coast.

My vixen (Manky Tail) has a belly full of babies. On the wild cam last night she stopped at just the right angle to see. She’s been extra hungry the last couple of weeks and waiting for the food to arrive each night.

The people I really admire are the ones who make a living without having to use LinkedIn as a career Only Fans.

Today started badly with a message to say all the allotment sheds had been broken into. They decided a few old buckets and muddy tools wasn’t worth stealing but it’s so horrible anyway. But in other news I spotted the first blossom on the golden gage tree. So that was joyful.

Went to the corner shop. Matched my trews and shoes. It’s the details…

Who wants to see Bob the foal being a furry idiot? He deliver barged into this stable (not his) to fuck shit up. If he was human I’d be pissed off… but he’s furry so it’s cute!

I can piss myself in my own jeans for free.

I didn’t catch other’s thoughts on Weapons when it came out. I thought it was a ruddy good, old fashioned horror.

I cracked open some of the spiced courgette pickles I made in the summer. Lordy, she goooooood.

The cat distribution service is never wrong. 🌙

GN. Especially to my busy brained, insomniac community. Scroll ya later,

It was good, messy fun. I spent 2 hours throwing a vase. Then one of the other women clumsily jabbed her meaty paw into the side of it after I’d wired it perfectly off the wheel.

Off to learn to throw pottery… be back soon.

Today I had a calligraphy lesson with the woman who drew up the scroll work and maps for House of Guinness. It’s safe to say I won’t be offering any competition…

GN

I just had cause to exclaim “MADAM! You are ruining my alchemy.” To my cat. While I was making bread.

GN

I watched both the Andrew Tate videos where he says he’s too smart to read books and then the one where he whines like a toddler with his toys clutched to his chest. And I think he’s making women so dry they can provide serious support with all the storm flooding.