I decided to spend to roll a 10 pull in that Mahjong Soul and got my boy Ryan immediately.... The power of jong... (I have no idea how I'm going to bond with him to get his jammies but I'm ready for the slow burn) Mahjong addictive..

So my March work schedule I got last week got updated today.. they basically gave me one-two extra days each week and stole all my Tuesdays off, bleh... (the boss kept promising they wouldn't do this again after what happened on Christmas but sure enough back to 40 hour weeks..)

I took a nap and keep having crazy ongoing dreams about my mother discovered being alive but then not but then yes Tonight I got to go into her secret underwater cave and talk with her and she was much older and brittle and bed ridden but she liked being alone down there so I left here there

Once again full of silly thoughts and opinions that are mostly reactive and don't contribute anything.. the power of brains and tongue biting In terms of positive things, that the battle golf game is still fun and best friendslop™️ I've seen/played so far

I looked at my bank account (it's still doing good) and so I told myself to do more retail therapy for things that were affordable and bought a couple more GameCube games...

I feel like I'm capable of a lot more and I feel confident in my 2D and 3D art skills... I just gotta find that motivation to do anything...

Been staying up late and staying in bed even later too much.. need to fix sleep, diet, movement... Haaaa... In good news though I got to play in Blender today and modify a VRC avatar, now I just need to figure out the proper ways to put it into VRC..

I played some Mahjong tonight and can't stop thinking about this hand (sadly someone discarded both the east and the 9 tile I could've used at the end..) I had so many potential good hands with lots of dora tonight but always in riichi or one away from riichi unable to commit to the finish line....

Gotta get out of this rut somehow....

kigu that was suggested last night

Not the best day but I got to watch a little bit of 08th MS team with a friend at least Wanting to learn 3d more again.. everyone in a server I'm in have been all using these cute VRC avatars and I decided to try making my own, but it's a headache.. Asking for help but no one understands my needs..

The world's biggest Gamecube fan plays Gamecube the only way they know how

hey! check this out, THE RETURN OF THE HECKMAYBE STREAM: march 3rd, 7pm EST 👍

Art is hard because I want to create something but every time I try to do anything I have to fight an overwhelming urge to kill myself (figuratively) any time I try to do anything creatively... Brains are dumb and I do think my meds have worn off their effectiveness..

Still in bed, stream eventuallyyy...

I still need better wakeup habits.. brain is always at its lowest when waking up for some reason More Prime time streaming tonight~

Too often I just see things and want to be a downer and go "we don't need to keep revisiting old things we need more new things" but I'm still not creating those new things myself so I need to bite my tongue.....

I gotta update my overlays and make a nice CRT for 4:3 gaming.. it's hard fitting a CRT border around a 1280x960 game window but I think that's the best size for stream so I will see what I can do..

I spent the entire night trying to figure out how to put games on my PS2 HDD but I finally figured it out and apparently I also have Popstarter already installed with a bunch of PS1 games and it all looks so good... Move aside emulation... I have... physical hardware......

I'm doing a comparison test between my Retrotink (left) and PCSX2 (right) and it's nearly one-to-one... I have no idea what proper settings are for these kinds of things but I think I got them set to my liking

Solae the space girl doodles~ #Solaesthetic #vtuber #art

✨ New toys ✨ Thank you again Atomic for the tablet... I've never had one this big before so it'll be interesting to try out Also now I can play PS2 games off actual hardware... possibly others as well...

People don't understand my burning desire to play party games with a group of like-minded people I'm comfortable enough around to throw around insults at each other and try to cut each other's throat as we all try to attain victory, while at the same time admiring the vicious plays of one other..

Thinking about Fortune Street again

Okay forget all my menhera posting lately I just got gifted a new tablet and life is good and I will do my best to live up to this honor and aaaa (Throne doesn't work with this site still oddly but aaaaaa extremely grateful)

Glimpsed at my work schedule for March, sounds like it'll be nightmarish, but I will try to survive... they even told me "yeah we have you on for 40 hours some weeks but we'll probably be calling you in too" Need to figure out what to do next with myself already....

Oh right and on my way home from therapy I had a weird moment.. I was stopped at a red light but it felt like everything was sliding backwards in my eyes.. a weird sensation Anyway I gotta work a lot this week but I want to make *something* creative this month

Lots of random thoughts today - Still want to draw more - Feeling a little feverish - People keep telling me to go back to school and learn computers and maybe I should take the plunge and research it.. - Discovered a lot about how my boss thinks of me today (negative)

I feel very opinionated and heated now and full of too many hot takes before bed, this is why menhera is bad for nyans Gotta focus this energy on good stuffs instead...

I saw some year old Despera news brought up again and once again I get irked that you cannot talk about Konaka without people being dumb about it... I love you Konaka... people just don't understand and want to hate everything for no reason......

Hi I'm Nyrator and if you see this being reposted then that means I'm live~ www.twitch.tv/nyrator

Still menhera and in bed but I should stream more Prime today...

Ended up drawing nothing today... nyehhh... (I did update my Gogh room a little bit at the very least)

I still don't know what to make and trying not to go menhera from it...

Ren - Wetting and Dreaming (sensitive content - wetting and diapers) I apologize if this content is too niche or fetish-y.. I want to explore personal topics I don't normally see in media

💜 Scraggly 💜

💜 cutE 💜

I really don't know what to do with myself.... nyeh.....

All I want to make is characters suffering suicidal thoughts and peeing themselves.. And extremist crossdressers with controversial opinions interacting with them...

Thinking too much again... Can I really make art if I have nothing to say...

The current Gundam vibes (these vibes change regularly on a day-to-day basis)

I want to draw but I don't want to sit down and figure out what I want to draw... The common dilemma...

she forgot to draw a valentines drawing cause she was gaming..

Crazy dream.. - Played game called "Girl". Very surreal game about these creatures going to school, and it's the first day - Exploring random floors, each with a letter and a theme. Can't find class, think it starts with her first initial - The bottom floor is essentially heck themed with a demon

I finished After War X - Roabea best Gundam character of all time. They made a character just for me - The blowjob brothers were pretty lame. I really wanted to like the older brother because he had charisma but they were easily the weakest part - I didn't fully hate the concept of Newtypes in this

I keep thinking of what I can do other than retail to survive.. the only thing I can think of goes against my personal values, which is selling digital goods..

I collapsed into bed immediately after that last post, passed out for three hours, and have spent the last hour physically unable to move and mentally very menhera... Definitely want to leave that job at this point but no idea what else I can do with myself...

A miserable day at work.. went in three hours early and it was non-stop insane the entire day.. felt like I was going to pass out.. Everyone's stressed, co-worker is angry at me for some reason I don't know, nepotism hire hid in the back all day.. a pain..

Also remembered to start doing taxes and I can confidently say I'm still below the poverty line (which I don't know is a good thing or not given my situation but hey)