Long exhausting day at work, spent the evening watching Godot tutorial (sitting and focusing on a Youtube video in general is very difficult but I did it with subtitles and 2x-4x speed~) I feel like I grasp most of it, but I feel like scripting is where it loses me.. I need to learn coding more..

I feel sad looking at a GameCube collection spreadsheet I made like a decade ago because I haven't changed a column with prices from when I first made it (the third column from the right, some more modern prices are in yellow in the rightmost column) There were only three games over $100..

Gomen for rambles brain is just in a super weird anxious spot at the momentt Here have a fumo instead

Nyra

It may surprise you but I am once again an extremely sleepy nyan in a world where I am unable to do anything else but sleep

Some more scribbles of that one idea Wondering what a school dress code for them would look like... I still need to try drawing the fourth character too...

More concept art for that game idea... outfit design is fun... Still no idea what to do for the fourth character though.. I'm thinking a tank/fighter girl who is the exasperated "leader" of this group of misfits but I need to figure out what kind of character she is still...

There's an attempt...

I keep wanting to think of other thoughts or topics I can post about, but yeah, brain's still empty I guess I can talk about the concepts of the characters I have in mind for that one story

Maybe I should just give up my morals and sell digital assets online at this point. I wonder if I'm even capable of that, though

💜 cutE 💜

One day I'll work up the courage to schedule a doctor appointment, one day... So tired of my body feeling so weak lately.. (also despite my packed work schedule they're still calling me in tomorrow as well and want me to work an 8.5 hour shift on Friday.. aaaaa....)

Why are nyans so prone to headaches...

I keep seeing stuff about the Toxic Yuri Jam and it makes me think "if only I cared for yuri or romance at all, what would I make" and I did kind of come up with an idea I like but not enough to actually enter a jam for it

Brain unable to be creative tonight sadly... I really don't know how to describe it but it's like there's something wrong with my ability to concentrate on a genuine medical level but I don't know what Thought I could ride the high of the lolimono drawing, but alas, tomorrow's another dayy

Rereading Madoromi-chan for references again... Madoromi gets it

Want to try to doodle more loli little sister-y fanart stuffs but so sleepy and local friend is kidnapping me today..

What if... lolimono.... #monomism

I wish I was better at portraying the power of omorashi for me.. it's not necessarily about the pee, it's about the crossed wires in your brain in a desperate physically uncomfortable struggle where failure makes you want to kill yourself in shame.. how do I convey those feelings and emotions..

Someone messaged me saying that today was Pee Your Pants day and it reminded them of me so there you go

💜 Anxiety Overflow 💜

💜 Day 13 - Classroom 💜 #lolitober #art

aaaaaa I feel so creatively bankrupt anymore All I can do is repost old art

💜 Cartwheel 💜

💜 Hz Freak Wince 💜

💜 Filthy Nyan 💜

💜 Help Me, Hurt Me 💜

I managed to tidy a bit (luckily my apartment isn't very messy at the moment) and I got confirmation that my boy Kuja is in Duellum eventually.... And he's fond of the cute shota Ren.... ... And also Garland...? In modern Tokyo attire...? Does this mean... My boy Jack might be in too?

let’s do our best today everyone 💚💚

What skills do I have to offer to earn $500 a month on something like Etsy or Booth or Patreon or OnlyFans or.. Or maybe I just become a powerful enough streamer to consistently get 200 subs a month..💭...

Extremely weak and sleepy tonight, even after a post-work 3 hour nap...

I feel like I just say the same things over and over, gomen... I made it my new years resolution to make something this year and so far I've gotten next to nowhere...

I think it'd be nice to not work and have a consistent routine where I alternate learning different things I want to learn to start the day and then end the day by making neat stuff.. the dream...

Tonight I collapsed into bed and was dreaming about the "7 Month Anniversary of Duellum" and how they added something to 14 where the player character pees themselves like three times and so I checked it out and my girl had wet the bed but the art was TWST and Grim was there and then I woke up and I

People are talking about "mutuals first impressions" and I'm always down to jump on bandwagons so if anyone (mutuals or not) has first impressions of me they want to share then feel free, but also don't feel pressured to either~

A long day of work and I'm sleepy and don't know what it is I want to create..~

🩹

Nyan update: This week is going better than previous weeks I think.. drew arts, I've used the walkpad three times this week so far, been keeping my diet kind of decent.. still sleeping a lot and still very weak so I really gotta schedule that appointment, but otherwise hopefully this momentum starts

What are some good pointless things to have characters argue about.. 💭

💭 What if the names "Rhys"/"Reese", "Cass", and "Lilith"/"Lilian" for these three respectively, and maybe "Mira" for the warrior.... Names are very hard... I could go weeb... I can go completely fantastical... We shall see....

Why is food so hard.... (I did buy beef to try putting in my slow cooker yesterday at least, I just need to wash out my slow cooker tonight first...)

I'm once again laying in bed trying to brainstorm a big project™️.. I keep replaying the same ideas in my head but I'm struggling to come up with more.. as much as I'd like to try making a VN or game, I think a comic/manga is probably the medium that'd work best for it

I woke up too early and decided to post the Kabi art at midnight Japan time and am now too restless to fall back asleep (plus I have a therapy appointment in an hour) I think it's a good kind of restless though.. a mix of "aaa I hope she sees it" and "aaa I really gotta create even more stuff"

永田カビ先生お誕生日おめでとうございます！！！ Happy birthday, Nagata Kabi!

I should probably read more manga anthologies, I think.. Started reading the Onimai ones finally and I forgot they're a good way to be introduced to new artists and styles/formats.. I really need to resolve myself and try to make a big project..

I got home from work and spent the past five hours finishing my art and other things for the Kabi birthday picture.. good feelings and wanting to share it immediately but I'll wait until tomorrow morning/afternoon... (now to eat dinner that I skipped out on eating until now whoops)

Today was an okay day.. still very weak, but did a decent amount considering. Finished lineart for the Kabi drawing, excited to share it on Thursdayyy (she's a huge inspiration to my current style and I feel almost too derivative of her after drawing her..)

aaaa Kabi... Rereading Nagata Kabi's works again and yet again having panic attacks over it.. I don't fully know why but I love her works to the point I feel sick to my stomach and have to pace around my apartment so I don't curl into a ball or vomit.. She's what I aspire to be comic-making-wise..

💜 Day 12 - Tummy 💜 #lolitober #art

Okay so phone anxiety prevented me from calling anyone today but I did spend 30 minutes on my walkpad again to start the day, got up at a reasonable time, ate proper meals, sketched out a picture.. also took at least two naps and am lying in bed again feeling very weak still, but hey~