Dear Canadian men’s soccer team, Please win today. Thank you. Steve

This message is probably AI.

‘Twas the first day of summer holiday And all thru the house the children were awake earlier than their schoolday wake up time this is bullshit. I’m out.

No shit.

There are some great Americans in the world. But when the leader is basically Voldemort, it tarnishes the rest. Like algae in a reflecting pond..

Dear World Cup organizers, 3pm Eastern doesn’t work as a start time for the Canada game today for me. Can you please push it back to 6pm? Cheers.

Good luck to Austria in their World Cup match vs Argentina today…

Hope he wears his big game eyeliner for this…

Nice to see people enjoying the new reflecting pool in Washington…

There will be a lot of posts about Father’s day today. But none are as succinctly perfect as this. Well played Luke…

I think Canada has a good chance to win this game!

With Father’s Day coming up this weekend, thought I’d share this clip, inspired by my dad John “Slim” Patterson. It is 9 minutes long so break it down into manageable bite size chunks if needed. Cheers music.apple.com/ca/album/moc...

rare footage of Trump without makeup on.

I like Michael Bublé. But I wish they had opened with an appearance by the Littlest Hobo. #WorldCup

With World Cup starting in Toronto today it is a fantastic time to not have to drive anywhere in Toronto.

If there’s one thing my dog has taught me, it’s never “just a squirrel””…

“Mormon lawmakers” is a good name for a band…

“You can have this ball if you can get it from my warm, slobbery mouth.” ~ Ferris Patterson. Just now.

I’m watching the men’s finals in French Open tennis and honestly I think both these guys could probably beat me.

It’s hot in Toronto. My neighbour from the tree in our yard wants in on the air conditioning.

Once again, my writing partner is “deep in thought”

My wife asked me to drive her to a medical appointment in Toronto today and I couldn’t figure out how she was so calm when we were clearly going to be at least 15 min late. Then when we got there she told me the appointment was actually 30 mins later. My wife is a devious genius.

Dear Blue Jays. With the Habs now done I am ready to start watching your games. So please start being good now. Cheers.

Based on our 11 year old’s brief effort at our community yard sale this morning, I don’t think she’s suited to a career in retail.

Hey Toronto, not enough of you are away at a cottage right now.

Well it appears The Enhanced Games weren’t quite as enhanced as organizers were hoping. Next step: Tour de France for steroid users, but take away their bikes!

it’s a long shot, but maybe the Habs can sign him for game 6?

I like living in a neighbourhood that protects the heads of its fire hydrants

Another huge opportunity at our house today for people in Toronto with a fetish for washing dishes.

Stats after regulation time: Habs 2 Hurricanes 2 Bowls of chips consumed by Steve 2

Good morning from breakfast face.

This is brilliant…

Jesus Skechers! What exactly are you trying to get older guys to “slip in” to here?

I hope Julia Roberts has already secured the movie rights to this…

I know the sudden drop in temperature in Ontario today from yesterday is confusing because I just saw a goose flying south.

Next goal big now.

99% of Canadians who aren’t at a cottage in the country right now are at a garden centre in a city.

Our 6 year old just came down to the basement and started to help me fold laundry. Without my asking. I assume this is an alien clone of my daughter. But I’m not going to verify until after all the laundry is folded.

Toronto without the cottage people in it is my favourite Toronto. Happy long weekend everyone !

My 6 year old said, after finishing her breakfast this morning, “mmmm. Good second breakfast dad!” Because apparently she had already gotten up earlier with her mom and had “first breakfast”. I am the father of a Hobbit.

Our 11 year old asked me, unprompted, if Snoop Dog had to get legal permission for his name from Snoopy. It’s nice to have the world’s youngest copyright lawyer as a daughter.

I think I know the first 6 Canadians who will sign up for this…

…and 4 out of 5 are under-brained.

number of hair ties I can find for my 6 year old daughter now that she needs one for school today: 0 number of hair ties I know for a fact are in back of our car that my wife took to work: 25,897.

La République, Honoré Daumier, 1848

Getting in some stretching with the locals on our last day in Saskatoon.

The Jets and “network TV” have about the same chance of being Super Bowl champs next year.

Slightly diminish a book The backup catcher in the rye

Les phew. #Habs