Does anyone know where I put the timer for the Christmas tree lights last year?And yes I know I “should have packed it with all the ornaments.”

Reading this to my daughter last night I realized I’m now a year older than the Grinch was when he stole Christmas. Going to make an extra effort to not steal everyone in my neighbourhood’s gifts this year.

I’m in a “Michael’s” store with my wife and daughters. In case anyone out there is a rescue mission operator.

If anyone needs me i’ll be yelling “why is every light in the goddamn house left on!?” to my empty house that my wife and daughters left for the day hours ago while my dad loudly chuckles from heaven.

I’m not an expert, but l do support giving employees good quality air while working…

The Debaters Live holiday tour resumes in a couple weeks in Western Canada. Most shows are sold out but a few tickets remain for a few stops. Run to get tickets, like Daughter Norah did through the hotel on a stop last Friday:) Cheers debaterslive.com

A huge thanks to all who came out and laughed at us in Peterborough a couple nights back! Great to end Ontario leg of tour on a high note. And judging by ease with which people reacted to this photo, our fans are more loyal than Coldplay’s. Tour resumes in Alberta Dec 2. Good talk. debaterslive.ca

Feels like Walmart greeters at about to get a little more confrontational….

This is my favourite review of our holiday show so far. Thanks to all who came to laugh at us in Hamilton last night. Especially you @kittaycounsel.bsky.social! Hope we can entertain the whole family for the whole show next time! Cheers.

At this point if you’re a comedian who Trump doesn’t want fired, you’re going it wrong…

Helluva fun weekend with Debaters Live tour rolling through Mississauga and Oshawa this weekend. People laughed in all the right spots and many wrong ones. Tour manager Donovan still best in the business, & I found a mannequin in the “Chrétien pose” at mall (if you know you know) Debaterslive.com

Thanks to all in Kitchener for coming out to Debaters Live Holiday tour! And to crew, staff and volunteers at Centre in the Square. Lots of laughs from Matt and Deb. And our tour manager Donovan (that’s his back during soundcheck) is the best in the business .Tour resumes tomorrow! debaterslive.ca

Had a helluva time entertaining the fine people of Kingston on our Debaters Live tour last night. Thanks to all who filled the Grand Theatre to laugh with us. They also have Doug Ford sized portions of Chapman’s Ice Cream here. On to Kitchener tonight! debaterslive.ca

Merci beacoup to all who came out to Debaters Live on tour in Montreal last night! Given the amount of seasoned CBC listeners and the couple who brought their infant, it might have been biggest age range of any show I’ve done. Now on to Ontario! A few tickets remain: debaterslive.ca #funnybonesup

Tonight’s office (theatre L’Olympia in Montreal) 1st stop of Debaters Live holiday tour. The snow has stopped so everyone can get here safely. It’s a pre-Christmas miracle!

Good morning from Montreal. There is “beaucoup de neige” here.

Just shovelled snow in front of my house and also shovelled in front of our elderly neighbour’s house. This is a reminder to help each other out please everybody. (and also a reminder to my other neighbour that I am older than you.)

Still haven’t read the latest Canadian budget, but hoping there’s a good chunk allocated towards production of real life Paw Patrol vehicles…

Just finished my daughter’s French toast. it’s going to be a good day.

This may be a better way to communicate to the American president!

All i’m saying is, if Trudeau was still the Prime Minister we could have had Katy Perry sing today’s budget.

The resemblance is uncanny.

‘Twas 2 nights after Halloween/ and in a corner of the house/ dad was eating tiny Coffee Crisp bars/ much faster than a mouse.

I’m starting a Go Fund me for the Jays to sign Ernie Clement for another 20 seasons. Love that guy. Love this team. they WILL be back. Good talk.

well, 1 out of 2 would still be nice…

I’ve spent a lot of today convincing friends who are Leafs fans that it is possible to win a Game 7.

let’s go back to the White panel hats please. #wantitall #itallcomesdowntogame7 #athirdhashtagwithitallinit

Hey wind. Stop blowing out my jack-o’-lantern! (not a euphemism)

just went into Michael’s craft store where there it is half Halloween but also somehow ALL Christmas already.

Dear Blue Jays, It would be great if you win the game/World Series tonight and I win this. Let’s try to make this happen ok? #wantitall #includingthe5050 #winwin

Made the mistake of bringing home a box of halloween candy from the store today. Which my wife and daughters are currently enjoying at a pace that will necessitate buying another box for Halloween tomorrow.

I don’t know how many of these fans will try to hide in the Rogers Centre until game 6, but I wish them the best!

#wantitall #onemorewin #bringithome #threemorewords

1. It’s more fun winning than losing 2-5. See 1.

Well done lads. It’s a best of 3 now. #wantitall #bringithome #thanksfornotmakingusstayuptoolatethistime #goodnight

recording tonight’s game…

The “reason” column in the log book at our daughter’s French school when we dropped her off late this morning was filled with “Le match de baseball” or “Les Blue Jays” for the parents who don’t really know how to speak French.

Good morning everyone. Just looking for a flux capacitor to go back to the inning Davis Schneider tried to score from first and took the bat out of Vladdy’s hands so I can tell him to stay on third. Vladdy hits. Schneider scores. Jays win. Stevie sleeps. #wantitall #wantbetterbaserunninginparticular

Just look into flights to LA in case the Jays need me to play in the 24th inning.

“Where are my goddamn gloves!?” Everyone in Toronto who is outside right now.

5:45am: My wife is downstairs either making a smoothie or power sawing wood.

Update: Time to fold my laundry I guess…

was going to fold laundry while watching World Series game but based on how well it’s going for Jays, looks like this laundry is staying right where it is. #wantitall #butdontwanttofoldlaundryatall

Wish we had THIS Canadian on White House East Wing demolition duty…

Thanks to all The Debaters fans who filled the Centrepointe Theatre in Ottawa the last 2 nights to watch my hilarious Canadian comedian friends hit home runs. Our final CBC tapings of the year! Now gearing up for Debaters Live tour. After I watch Jays win World Series! Ticket info debaterslive.com

Today’s morning office in Ottawa is…eclectic.

Headed to record episodes of The Debaters in Ottawa tonight. This city punches way above its weight in terms of traffic jams.

Blue Jays Bluesky is the Bluest bluesky!. #wantitall #GoJaysGo #neverhadadoubt #exceptforfirst7inningsandthenuntilHoffmanstruckoutthelastbatter

This should have been released by @thebeaverton.com…

Ok (Ok) Blue Jays (Blue Jays) Let’s…win….game 7 tonight #wantitall #whatthesonglacksinrhythmitmakesupforinearnestness