i'm back, what did i miss?

Toronto. It's time to get this done. Vote Ford out. Turnout will make the difference. Get your people to the polls. Volunteer for a candidate to get out the vote. NotOneSeat.ca #TOpoli #ONpoli #ONelxn #NotOneSeat #UniteTheVote #VoteFordOut

You know.. Gotta tell ya.. I'm not usually this upbeat *continues digging bunker*

fyi: it's gained traction!

Whenever you feel lonesome, just look to the north star and think of me- no not that star, the other one, the north one- NORTH you fucking idiot

Hello fellow Canadians - let's get elon musk's canadian citizenship revoked. Remember to verify your email fter signing 🥰🇨🇦 www.ourcommons.ca/petitions/en...

take a break from the doomscroll, go for a doomstroll.

Stop wasting time trying to keep people in your life. Those who belong there will always be there. Everyone else can suck rocks.

I’ll just leave this here!

You can watch porn at 25 times the speed as it won't affect the plot's comprehension

the dismantling of democracy will continue until morale implodes.

SPOILER ALERT “Captain America: Brave New World” is a movie about a red-orange tinged monster President that cannot control his rage and destroys the White House & embarrasses the nation. He ends up doing the right thing when confronted by a black man. My review: ridiculous & unrelatable

growing hooves and horns turns you into a minotaur

of course Hooters is filing for bankruptcy, it’s 2025 grandpa, we eat ass now

However do you want me. However do you need me. 😊🤞🦋

If you're an anti-capitalist baby boomer, please know that I fucking love you. You are a rare and precious legend. I'm so sorry that you were left alone to deal with these bootlickers from your generation for so long. I can't imagine how exhausting it must've been. Thank you for holding the line.

Mentally and emotionally occupying myself.

Just some snowdrops

Fun fact: I am related to a couple of popes. It’s way back in the middle ages, but I’m related nonetheless.

Scaring people into quitting didn’t work, so now it’s a new game. X isn’t for gov’t business, and not replying to an email isn’t a legal resignation. We could’ve had housing help, tax breaks for workers, and better healthcare. Instead, we’re stuck with this.

Try and imagine no cellular service in North America. How to cripple a country in the year 2025.

Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie!

an angler fish in the darkest depths, birthed with it’s own light, in human form… be like an angler fish. be comfortable within both.

I’m the reason why “size matters” is still a debate.

One day you’re driving an ‘80 Chevy Malibu with a girl beside you on the bench seat with your arm around her with the windows down and Def Leppard pounding on the stereo and the next thing you know you have brush your teeth immediately after eating popcorn. Life moves fast

Not overdoing it, not underdoing it, a "secret" third thing (not doing it at all)

I have two cartons of eggs in my fridge baby *waggles eyebrows suggestively*

I WANT TO BELIEVE

DOCTOR: If you keep taking these pills you're gonna get really constipated! PATIENT: Oh yea? Well, I don't give a shit! RS

The professional way to say "fuck around and find out" is "Please, test that assumption and then take note of the results"

bro no wonder you got hoisted on your own petard. you forgot to gird your loins dude

It feels like people are waking up

no one is coming to save you. people are only coming to kill you and take all of your stuff

quick update: the man makig dog noises outside my apt ended up being just a dog. to all Gorgeous women who DMed me asking if im ok—thank you

Amen to that.

What do you call a twice baked cake? A retorte.

Love At First Butthole Sight

People on Twitter complaining about lower engagement on Bluesky is a specific kind of influencer culture brain rot because I’m like my sibling in Christ the numbers aren’t real

Stay humble by listening to a recording of your own voice.

regret to inform everyone this is a real guy who could be pope

Guy who doesn’t even respond to the mothers of his children: reply to my email or you’re fired

Zelda says that all of our problems would be fixed if we all licked more buttholes.

I post cause nobody listens.