My dog finds things and brings them home. He also found a carrot.

This is who runs this account. Hair by ‘Michael of Flair’.

A three year old asked if he could take a photo of me with the dog. He followed it up with a selfie.

Apparently it’s #ReadIndies month, when you’re all meant to go out & buy books from indie publishers. How about you go one better & buy books from indie authors? It’s only the literary world that sneers at creatives doing it themselves so buck the trend & buy my fucking book™ www.michelehowarth.com

We have lots of interesting people passing through, plus one or two dullards. But I have to say that this guy was a bit special.

Booking an appointment with my podiatrist 😳

The SMOKING HOT new paperback edition of Base Notes @whiterabbitbks.bsky.social is almost ready to fly. If you’d like a signed / dedicated copy, those lovely people @forumbooks.bsky.social are now taking pre-orders. Sink your teeth... www.forumbooksshop.com/product/base...

Knitters of Bluesky please buy this pattern. Non knitters of Bluesky, you buy it too, take a class & add knitting to your post apocalyptic skill set. All proceeds go to immigrant aid agencies who’ll distribute the funds to those impacted by the actions of ICE. www.ravelry.com/patterns/lib...

I know I’m a bit of a nitwit on here, but look at my massive disembodied head on a screen, being taken seriously by the man of the moment.

Very pleased with the nippley thing on my new hat. I made it extra long cos knitter’s prerogative innit.

‘University’ is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.

Monday’s musings. Ban CVs in the arts. They’re fucking pointless. I’m not interested in your brilliant career or your car crash career. I’m only interested in the work in front of me. Put them in the bin comrades. It’s no one’s damn business what you’ve done before.

I guess today is a good day to repost this photo I took of my friend Mirella with some guys we ran into. #BowieDay

Night night.

The Abbey cinema Liverpool, where I was traumatised by Jane Eyre as a too young child.

Having your teeth drilled without anaesthetic, by a hairy handed dentist who wasn’t wearing gloves.

Paper clip collection, annotated with date of invention. Via @sedgarchivist.bsky.social & Denver Archives.

FUNERAL PIGEON UPDATE : Andrew & Marie have moved into their own space on account of mum pecking at them - clearly feeling it’s time for them to move out. She knows best. Look how big and healthy they are. Anyone wishing to donate to the charity taking care of them it’s ko-fi.com/calderdalebi...

That time I saw Molly on a beach in Wales. RIP to a proper one off.

My Serge Gainsbourg post-it notes are failing to liven up the doing of my tax return.

FUNERAL PIGEON UPDATE : Andrew & Marie have moved into their own space on account of mum pecking at them - clearly feeling it’s time for them to move out. She knows best. Look how big and healthy they are. Anyone wishing to donate to the charity taking care of them it’s ko-fi.com/calderdalebi...

Ear defenders 8/10 #fireworks

Picture of the staff who operate my account.

On the 30th December 2010 Bobby from Boney M passed away, on the same date and in the same city that Rasputin died. I'm always astounded that more people aren't astonished by this fact.

I think it’s reasonable to assume that things are going to get worse, but HAPPY NEW YEAR regardless.

10% discount off my book about sex pests in showbiz with the code WALLIAMS. Ends tomorrow night.

May I hijack this most skint time of year to ask you to throw a few pennies at Calderdale Bird Rescue. They took in a funeral pigeon I found dying in the street, nursed her back to health & matchmaked her with a life partner. Andrew & Marie are the delightful result! 🐦 ♥️ 🐦 ko-fi.com/calderdalebi...

‘Winter’ by Carol Batton. youtu.be/Cv7JG4MvNcg

May I hijack this most skint time of year to ask you to throw a few pennies at Calderdale Bird Rescue. They took in a funeral pigeon I found dying in the street, nursed her back to health & matchmaked her with a life partner. Andrew & Marie are the delightful result! 🐦 ♥️ 🐦 ko-fi.com/calderdalebi...

That time Shaun Ryder turned up for a poo during lockdown. #GhostsOfChristmasPast

This is my second Christmas as an adult orphan. Can I ask, do they stay this strange?

Oh well. Might as well put the decorations up.

I left the room, without telling him where I was going.

Already dreading summer.

No idea if you’ve missed the Xmas post deadline to buy Nanna my fucking book, but no worry cos the 10% discount code WALLIAMS lasts until New Years Eve. Meanwhile, here’s a Fat White Family member in a festive woolly, cradling my masterpiece. More top content like this on Insta @wernerherzogmeets

I’ve had a visit from the ghost of Christmas where’s me dinner?

Life in a northern town.

A timely reminder that my book would make the most marvellous Xmas gift for the exasperated woman/bewildered man in your life. 10% off with the code FAZAKERLEY if bought direct from www.michelehowarth.com. Happy to include sweary dedications if that’s your thing. Gift wrapping an option - just ask.

Funeral pigeon update. Andrew and Marie showing off their Christmas hair-dos.

Life in a northern town.

Dr @adellestripe.bsky.social visited this afternoon, and kept things formal in a sequinned gown with shoulder pads. Let it be known that a standard has been set, should any of you be planning to pop by.

Well if there’s going to be a best reader of the year, @nportnell.bsky.social is definitely up there. 👏👏👏

I played poker with him about twenty years ago in a terrace just a stone’s throw from this one. I left penniless. RIP Martin Parr.

My people.

Men looking at my hand stitched sculptures and asking if I can take up their trousers.

There’s a Christmas window display competition in town. This definitely gets my vote.

Bought this to add to my out of control vintage fabric collection. I already have it in blue, but you simply can’t have too many laughing pigs in waistcoats imo.

Reader, this is why I married him. #HusbandAtTheVets