Unless it shoots lasers out of its eyes no kid will pay attention to this for even a moment

as a non soccer watcher, every description of a match sounds boring as shit. “the Sandwich Islands played down by a goal for 84 minutes but they finished in a draw against the Pacific Trash Island.” ok cool I’m glad everyone had a nice time and got some exercise

Lindsey Graham died of the diarrhea disease. Sleep softly, sweet prince ❤️

my strategy of never eating produce pays off again

This website would be a lot better if more people saw my posts, and reacted positively to them.

This Platner guy has more problems than the Strait of Hormuz

Taylor Swift Travis Kelce Travis Kelce’s brother Bob Dylan

If you ask me, Clarence Thomas is like a school during the summer. No class.

I think it’s time to just retire Bill Maher discourse. He’s a bad person and should receive as little attention as possible. He should be made as irrelevant as possible. (Yes I know he has a show on HBO.$

It’s so funny to watch fuckin Mike Johnson talk about how radical the DSA is as a boogeyman when they’ve been throwing the same accusations at Cory Booker ass nerds for decades. I don’t think the messaging will make even a dent because people susceptible to it already think that’s all Democrats.

Maybe this means James Carville will finally stop sending me emails and text messages, a thing that happens in the year of Our Lord 2026

Watching the biggest dweebs in the world get upset about the Democratic primaries is a balm on my soul

The part where Trump is denigrating all of the noble symbols of the empire and reducing them to scorn and mockery is really good

The thing about Elon Musk is that someone should [redacted] [redacted]

Watching debates is literal torture for me but I’d tune in to watch Hunter Biden smoke Don Jr. like a big ass rock.

she should win a Grammy for this

The thing about 60 Minutes is that everything happening there is bad but also I don’t care about any of those people

you’re telling me a trans person mogged a grift friar?

A good bit would be making Tilly Norwood open an OnlyFans

Can’t wait for the stories about Jan 6th rioters blowing through $10 million like a lottery winner. These guys should be looking for tips in the lottery subreddit right now. They already hate their families so cutting them off should be easy.

pokémon grogu to the polls

The answer is Ebony and Ivory, the song that ended racism

me, trying to be offended in a novel way: using corporate-speak ironically is more equivalent to blackface than drag

fucked up that the king just wears a suit nowadays. kings should have to wear a big ass robe and carry a scepter or what have you. they should have to look like the classiest stereotype of a pimp.

no one who had a rough day at work would ever want this

The thing where we shot humans further into space than ever before is cool because it demonstrates how, when the will and the resources are there, a collection of humans can solve enormous problems and accomplish incredible things.

Having a new snack I just invented called “chestnuts” which is when I lay down and pour peanuts on my chest and then eat them

Please stop making Chuck Norris jokes. A man died, whatever you think of him. And now he’s become even stronger, his particles disseminating into everything, entering our waterways, changing the chemical makeup of the air, supplanting the very fabric of our universe. It’s no laughing matter.

my opinion, on world events of late? “cut it out” or alternatively, “keep it up”

In a hotel room so you know what that means: watching the Big Bang Theory with motion smoothing on

This is true, my brain is broken enough that I did dream this

had a dream last night that Elon made up a new government initiative called GRIMES and the G stood for Goku

“Someone should findomme the DOGE kids,” I think, my brain slowly evaporating through my ears.

broke - Kamala Harris: “i will follow the law when it comes to transgender individuals” woke - Stephen Smith:

Btw; just to break toxic fanboys brains: here is Gene Roddenberry literally saying he wished he had gay sex and wishing that he was nonbinary.

A tiny thing that gives me a little bit of positivity is knowing that the world will be a better place when the USA eventually ends

I don’t want to be a conspiracy theorist because there are plenty of legal-ish ways that elections are stolen (voter purges, etc.) but it’s 1 million percent clear that Elon would have done direct election fraud if presented with any opportunity.

A bright spot of the onslaught of insanity is that it seems to have wrested some (broadly) resistance types out of their collective malaise.

what Musk is doing is as close to the government being taken over by a hostile foreign power in our lifetimes, the coverage should reflect that

Here it is. This is abominable.

Some of the ways Dems could force hours, days, even weeks of delays on the Senate's business, over time, if they really wanted to screw up Trump's agenda:

what we need now is self care ❤️ for example, do yoga at your desk. *5 minutes later* I regret to inform you that doing yoga has been deemed “Gay” and is now banned

The January 6 pardons are turning out great.

Californian independence on the ballot is mostly funny but like… if federal aid is made conditional and they have the sixth largest economy in the world, then what incentive is there to stay?

I know AOC kinda fucked her reputation especially during the presidential campaign but she is so good at messaging and I am glad she is doing it loudly while mostly everyone else in power licks boots

Section 31 movie was bad but Sam Richardson is the best think about it by a mile.

This is clearly a lie. There’s no way X is breaking even.

It’s good that the mask is off. It’s scary, but it’s good to confront reality.

President Trump signs executive order banning “the Friendzone.” “For too long the Friendzone has been used to punish the dorks of our society,” the president said. “Now dorks are giving me a bunch of money, so we gotta get rid of it.”

my prediction for the Trump presidency? at least one movie will come out each year while he’s in office, mark my words. could be wrong tho