Kim Davis can’t hurt us today!

Just a couple press secretaries libbing out. 🇺🇸

LIBBING OUT AT CROOKED CON! Say hey 🫶

The triple-divorced homophobe Kim Davis is back at the Supreme Court today to try preaching "sanctity of marriage" and block LGBTQ+ folks' right to marry. She'll lose again, and she'll hopefully begin to reflect within.

SUBWAY SANDWICH MAN NOT GUILTY, JUSTICE PREVAILS.

Nancy Pelosi masterfully wielded power and got people in line. That’s a key lesson Dems need to always remember from her. “Throw a punch—for the children.”

Thank you, Madam fucking Speaker. 💪

Good morning, fellow libs.

Karoline Leavitt realizing she will have to pull off Olympics-level spin tomorrow

As I said—

This whole year has felt like a hopeless abyss. Tonight’s election is the first time I’ve truly felt and believed that there’s a way out for our country.

Third time’s a charm, Jack CiattareLLLi.

Aura

WINSOME... BUT LOST THIS ONE! 💙

First openly gay man as PEOPLE's Sexiest Man Alive... oh, today's gonna be a goooooood Election Day.

What a beautiful day for a politico’s Super Bowl. Zohran Mamdani. Abigail Spanberger. Mikie Sherrill. CA Prop 50. Pennsylvania Supreme Court. Turn the tides BLUE today, my friends. 💙

Adulthood is just saying “getting back into a routine” over and over again until you die

the meme isn’t a compliment, JD.

My jaw literally dropped witnessing this in person. A police officer bravely and vividly recounted the pain inflicted on him on January 6th, 2021. The entire panel of Republican witnesses SHRUGS IT OFF. And they all raise their hands in support of his assailant's pardons from Trump. To his face.

Someone hold Ms. Housley’s hand as I tell her… they’re probably on Grindr too, sweetheart.

Tough day for the booty band I shredded this morning, the massive breakfast I devoured after, and whoever is the wrath of my impending intense productivity (likely some Republican insufferable). Have a great day friends ☀️

I love DC because what do you mean there’s anti-Pam Bondi propaganda right outside brunch??

I easily passed the ICE agent test that this loser administration is struggling to get its recruits to pass. 15 pushups, 32 sit ups, 1.5 mile run in 14 minutes.... that's it. Kristi Noem has a 30% fail rate... and a 50% fail rate on an OPEN BOOK written exam. Protect immigrants. 🇺🇸

Has anyone called her Karolyin' Leavitt yet?

Oh yeah, I grew a beard btw

Wide neck ties?? Yes or no???

WELCOME TO THE RESISTANCE, TMZ!

I read this reporting on the ICE fitness tests that Kristi Noem’s agents are “athletically allergic” to and failing at record rates. Made it my cardio closer after my lift tonight. Did the whole thing ~combined~ in 12 minutes. IMMIGRANTS make America great. 💙

The NRSC is getting absolutely obliterated for posting a deepfake video of Chuck Schumer. Their communications director doubled down. Sweetheart… if you have to use AI to fake your job, that’s a skills issue.

anyone have eyes on Kristi Noem???

I don’t have a repulsive swastika American flag in my office… but I do have a JudiciaryDems brat poster, a sign for the 235 federal judges we confirmed, and all the front pages I’ve landed ❤️

“DID SOMEONE SAY LEAKED MESSAGES”

These Republican group texts are even leakier than Pete Hegseth’s defense department

I said what I said. Welcome to the resistance, Buzzfeed News.

girl… this wasn’t a compliment 💀

GOOD MORNING to all who watched the SNL spoof of the Senate Judiciary Committee this week. This is amazing 😂😂😂

Grandma Judy is everything. When our family learned its biggest cheerleader was diagnosed with late stage lung cancer, the roles flipped and we sprinted home. She stays smiling. Kindly asking for all of the warm thoughts as she starts her fight. 💪💞 (Fuck cancer.)

We canceled cancer research for this shit

Live tweeting evidence as it’s discovered, completely unconfirmed. Krashout Patel fucked up his last big investigation by misidentifying an assassin to try getting a “good boy” from DJT. Clearly, he didn’t learned a thing.

Back to the swamp. (Corded headphones brought to you by my right AirPod forgotten in the United States Capitol, and my left AirPod forgotten at my aunt’s house.)

Kamala Harris saved us from a landmine by not picking Pete Buttigieg as VP, tbh. She just told Rachel Maddow why. America WILL elect an LGBTQ+ VP. But we can’t waste our shot.

RUN HOT DEMOCRATS

Some weird spammy “LGB independence” group is making rounds online. It was anonymously registered this year and is already flooded with right-wing bot amplifiers. So, let’s be CRYSTAL CLEAR: The bullshit “LGB without TQ” supporters are all ugly people with ugly opinions. Never gonna happen. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Running around the homeland 🌾

My life was made immensely worse twelve years ago today. (I met Kristi Noem for the first time.)

Just two cousins causing MAYHEM 🖤

Seeing Wicked on Broadway was an unforgettable experience. Top 10 night ever… and with my forever Elphaba. 💚💞

Mom keeps eating me up in our fit check videos, me fears…

Since moving to the east coast from South Dakota five years ago, I’ve been most surprised by how much I love visiting New York City. Now I’m taking my mom on her first ever visit 🥹