When you buy that much in Denby they give your wife a trolley to cart it all the the car 🙈 Happy Mother’s Day to me… from the cats 😂

For James, never forgotten.

Nobody takes the piss out of me quite like my wife 🙈 (it’s possible only brits will get this) Me: wears red blazer My wife: “ hello can you tell me what time the children’s entertainment starts”

Warm tones for summer incoming… 😂 Suns been out for 15 minutes me to my best boy and hairdresser extraordinaire “babe wake up, I’m coming round I need you to make me blonde” Him “oh Christ not this shit again, you can not be blonde”

He’s home 🐾💙🐈‍⬛ Nothing to see here… just me drowning myself in wine

UK Indoor athletics 🇬🇧 Couldn’t get her closer to the action unless I brought her a leotard and pushed her on the track 😂🏃🏻‍♀️💨

Yes Birmingham! The 0121 has always known what’s up 😂

Breakfast

Date night. Find someone that looks at you, like my wife looks at Pinà Colada’s 🍹🍍🎼🎹

Hello 40 💖

Peep 40 🥳 Had a fabulous day! Clinging to my actual 30’s for another 5 hours! Peter Pan I Am.

Today we went to a restaurant where you had to sit on swings 🙈 I’ve never been so reminded of both my age and inability to multitask at the same time 😂 Three cocktails in my 52yo wife was swinging like a toddler and I was still gripping the rope sipping slowly lol 🫠

If my wife spent a fraction of the time she spends procrastinating actually getting stuff done, she would be unstoppable. But alas she’s just going to lie down and think about it some more 🙈

Post your favorite photo that you took in 2024. It was a rough year for his old boy, but he was a little fighter and now we’re back on track 💙

Happy New Year friends 💛

I don’t know what time it is…. Barely know what day it is…. But I DO know…. MOJITO 🍋‍🟩🧊🍹🌱 😂

Merry Christmas 🤶 I’ve done all the family visiting and gift giving, sunk a whole bottle of Buck’s Fizz 🍾 💋 Now I’m curled up on the sofa trying not to nap while G cooks the dinner. (I’m banned from entering the kitchen 😂)

I’ve not been very active- I always find December incredibly hard but I wanted to pop on and wish all that celebrate a very merry Christmas. I hope tomorrow brings everyone nothing but joy ❤️

Secret Santa Day🧑‍🎄

Best present under the Christmas tree is him 💙 Mommy’s little soldier 💪

Love is……. Tea & biscuits 🫖 Wild Saturday nights 😂

Let’s Gooooo! She looks yummy 🤤 (Sorry! Not sorry!) #sarahlancashire #blackdoves

IRL I’m an audio producer—I do a lot of podcasts and spoken word stuff full-time. But I’m looking to pick up some audiobook clients particularly in the #lesfic and #sapphicbooks space. If you’re an author in my queer community looking to produce an audiobook, let’s chat.

World AIDS Day You don’t have to be positive to think positive. Get informed. Get tested. Get involved. #RockTheRibbon

Day 1/24 days of chocolate for breakfast 😋

Bites lip 👄 Back on my Sarina bu*¥$#!t 😂

Saturday night viewing ⚽️ #EngVUsa Let’s go Lionesses 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Date day socks 💛 🐧 (And yes she has matching… not that she would ever admit it) #wlw 🌈

Where are all these trader accounts coming from and how did they find me? Having to use the block feature here for the first time.

This little man just got the all clear from pathology - No Cancer 🙌🙌😻

It’s been a labour of love…. Next year I’m hiring someone to do this sh1t for me 🙈 but my goodness I do love the pretty’s 🤩 Someone let Santa know I’m ready..

Driving G mad with my Christmas crazy again 😂 Todays project….hanging garland displays First one done ✔️

Impromptu date nights are the best. Fun with my favourite 🍻🌲❄️ #christmasmarket #wlw

Back in my ‘missing the train’ era 🚂🙈 Thank goodness for audio books to keep me company! What’s everyone listening to? #lesfic #sapphicfiction

Wife’s gonna kill me 🙈 I’ve gone ‘extension pole Christmas garland’ hanging mad. Pulled paint / plaster off the wall Whoops

Snow ⛄️ ❄️

Not the best pic because I’m inside in the warm drinking tea but….itsss snoowwwinnnnggg

Sounds accurate… Recently Had a hot tub weekend with the girls who all died of shock when I informed them that I was wearing my high school swim suit 😂

Billi cat has a new blue blanky For being the best big brother ever!

It’s a work in progress but peep 👀 the Tree 🌲💛 Still a long way to go but that’s a problem for tomorrow 😂

This Christmas tree is brought to you by copious amounts of Vodka and unhelpful cats 🙈

All shops should have a: ‘Don’t deliver in bags so large that I can’t smuggle them past my wife’ Option ✅

Today in ‘weird sh1t my wife says’ G: “we should start making our own bread” Friends! For context… We barely cook, we mostly eat out, there are whole sections of our oven that we have NEVER used.

Introduce yourself with four video games As you can tell I’m not a gamer- I didn’t think singstar would count. (Bonus points if you can name them 😂)

Sexy! Also…. ‘Family’ can also just be one person….😂

Today is the day people!!! 🎄🌲🎄🌲🎄🌲🎄🌲 Tonight when I settle in on the sofa, I’ll be basking in the glow of the Christmas tree ✨

Me and the boys 😻deciding what to watch….

Been stressed AF and miserable for a few days, tonight we went to the range to look at all the Christmas stuff and it’s cheered me up 💛 So tonight I’m going to drink wine and plan putting up the Christmas tree tomorrow 🌲✨ Never stop doing the silly little things that bring you joy.