I see Spurs have taken ownership of the wretched pistol that Everton have spent years using to shoot themselves in the foot whenever confronted with a shard of positivity. Keep it lads, please!

Up the plus-one-goal-difference-magnificent-seventh-here-we-come-he’s-got-red-hair blues!

Nobody does “Big Club In Relegation Fight” better than Everton. Fans many times dragging the team over the line, years of practice (sadly)! I can’t help but wonder if Spurs the club and their supporters are ready for the fight?

Up the free-scoring toffees!

David Moyes has a different view of football to me. Fair enough, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt as this is infinitely preferable to the stress of recent years, but I’m about as excited as a dead stoat about that team. Now watch watch as we channel our inner Brazil ‘70 and win 5-0.

Mighty glad we’ve steered clear of this season’s relegation fight and can watch on with relaxed amusement. #EFC

About to embark on a 12 hour flight without Wi-Fi. Don’t ruin the first minute after landing, please Everton…

Claude Code is very impressive indeed but we’re gonna look back at the 200K context limit like we look back at the 48K Sinclair Spectrum. We’ll wonder how we managed!

So which Everton will it be tonight? I simultaneously predict a 2-0 win, a 3-1 defeat and a dour 0-0 draw.

4 mins added time too much apparently…ha!

Oh dear. How sad.

Result of the season that.

Armstrong completely at ease at this level. I wouldn’t send him back. How old is Gana again?

Biggest implosion since the Titan. Well played blues.

The odds of one of our players crossing the ball and it landing on a teammate’s head or foot (or even arse) is about the same as winning the lottery.

Fair enough - try two pinball strikers and hope it bounces in!

Another for DCL. Simple accurate cross, striker running in to tap it home. Looking forward to when Everton next do that…

Oh dear. How sad. Tiny violins for the RS.

Would rather he hadn’t taken Alcaraz off.

Bump. #EFC

Well the team sprit looked a bit dodgy when Gueye and Keane were swinging their handbags at each other but look at them all at the end after pulling that one off and sending the mancs home sobbing.

Actually I’ve changed my mind, “dressing room cam” can only add to the viewing experience. Bring it on.

Yellow card for Mbeumo. Second yellow for the piece of second hand carpet dangling from his face, should be off.

I've used GitHub copilot a lot lately for some coding experiments. It's quite good at times, but also slightly resembles someone with early stage Alzheimer's. You think you're getting somewhere and then you realise it's forgotten a whole load of what was discussed before.

A painful watch after a nice 30 minutes. What happened to us, ffs. My eyes hurt.

Well Eintracht Frankfurt must be shit.

Nothing competes with the verbal abuse from a 17 year old daughter blaming me and “whatever I’ve done with the WiFi” for AWS taking down her social media.

Four defeats in a row. How sad.

The performance in the first half gave me hope yesterday. More than had we started slowly and gone 2-0 down and then woke up as City eased off, an all too familiar scenario. Beto takes one or both of those chances and it changes the game and gives us a real chance of one or all three points.

So we just need to exchange Beto for Haaland so we can win games like that.

Always nice to find a stash of old CM2 source code and data disks. These would’ve been backups I sent to Mum for safekeeping back in 1994!

I think I’ve seen enough of the striker audition to conclude that Beto is the only one really capable of leading the line in this team. He’s hit and miss - he’ll be mightily relieved Grealish scored that - but it’s gotta be him from now on. Give Barry minutes when we can, but start Beto.

The Hill Dickinson effect. Show some direct incisive play, the crowd will appreciate it and get behind you. Atmosphere sounds fantastic. Up The Fucking Blues. 😂

Dear God will Sky stop miniaturising the screen so it’s too small to follow to show goals I don’t care about.

At least we’ll get 4 seconds of injury time added on for this Palace injury.

Last thing we needed losing our best goalscorer.

It’ll be a miracle if we get something out of this after those Palace chances. COYB

Looking forward to the next bit where we go 0-2 down and then buck our ideas up/Palace ease off and we pull it back to 1-2 FT and all tell ourselves we have some positive momentum to take into the next game.

It’s pretty clear we’re going to have to improve if we’re to get something out of this game. Palace a cut above, better-drilled, more likely to score. Need to get further up the pitch and get Ndiaye, Grealish and Dibling on the ball.

The only thing better than a top quality Indian on a Saturday evening is a top quality Indian on a Saturday rounded off with an injury time winner for someone against Liverpool for the second week running.

Best centre forward at the club 😇

““Normally he scores in this situation,” Daniel Farke said” … does he? Maybe for one season under Carlo…

Added Time karma?

We got exactly what we deserved from our approach to that game. Manager completely out of touch with the fanbase tonight. Oh well. #Everton

Moyes has shit his pants now, here comes the real team 😂

I’m looking forward to some insightful analysis about the legality and practicality of a future UK govt stripping ILTR from people who will often have spent many years and paid many £££ to obtain it.

That Haaland run. Not realistic, too fast and powerful. Nobody can do that. The match engine needs some tuning.

Well we have them a game, at least. I suppose with hindsight playing with ten men in the first half wasn’t such a good idea.

So Village Street @ #Everton. Very nice decor, modern etc but seriously devalued as we arrived @ 1pm and there were absolutely no seats anywhere at all for my ten-year-old and I either in the “street” bit or any of the pubs. For the price paid, that was a disappointment. Great view from Upper West!

Transfer deadline day, when you keep refreshing your feed for news of signing/bidding for a player you’d never heard of an hour before.