For those living in the valley of the mountain just an FYI. That Sisyphus guy is almost where he always loses the boulder

I prefer my intelligence to be all natural

If your idea of progress is one step forward and two steps back You start off one step behind

Hard to figure out how to get to where you’re going if you don’t accept where you’re at

The pharaoh constructs his pyramid scheme with bricks made from the dung of the sacred steer and straw men

So I CRISPR’d up a winged horse with a singular magical horn growing from its forehead. Should I call it a Unisus or a Pegacorn?

Here’s a guy, before today never once thought “I hope I don’t give off Cricket vibes.”

Maybe don’t let the people who shrug at losing 5 million make economic decisions for people who freak out about misplacing 5 dollars

If you must invent a mental health disorder to assign people that keep asking if you’re out of your friggin mind..

Is the Trump Derangement Syndrome caused by the Woke Mind Virus or are they separate Socialist Communist-icable diseases

Reciprocal love that word big word powerful word so powerful in fact they named a tool after it a power tool a saw a reciprocal saw Reciprocal love that word

Used to be if you were actively at war with objective reality you spent some time at a psychiatric facility

Is it a thumb war if it’s not declared?

Republicans are too chickenshit to hold town halls. Shocker. Here’s an idea: Democrats, hold town halls in Republican districts.

A reminder I will be providing at least once a month for all of the remaining years of my life: Months before the 2024 election, the Department of Justice announced that there were at least six hundred Russian assets inside the United States and that some...were SITTING MEMBERS OF CONGRESS.

We always say Founding Fathers but did you know America really had two constitutional foundings? The 2nd was the post Civil War amendments. They are ones that created individual liberty. When Rs say they want to wipe out the 20th century 👆 is what they mean.

MAGA would hate it if you RP this podcast. Just sayin' This is America Episode 5: Napoleon Dynamite open.substack.com/pub/thecycle...

All the strings in my conspiracy cork board lead to Putin

May the funk of his rancid taint forever haunt your chins

At least we can be tripping out on mushrooms while we die of the plague

The United States Once a global partner stands up from the table Flips everyone off Smashes beer can on forehead turns, chanting U.S.A U.S.A as we walk out the door grabbing our jock

This part of the scam is called bait and switch. Advertised as one thing and received another Customer Service department shuttered

A roof that leaks can flood the basement

DOGE now has access to the payment system responsible for disbursing social security and medicare payments.  Not enough people are talking about how dangerous this is. www.nytimes.com/2025/02/01/u...

Musk took the keys to everything already. Then told Trump he wasn’t in control of shit anymore and to do as he says or he’ll burn it all down. Trump then says “If anything happens to me “. & we’re going to glitter up Gaza” as a flailing malignant narcissist whose lost all their power

The world you knew ended last weekend.

Anyone who confidently declares that they have unlimited tolerance to a drug say for instance ketamine sure as shit isn’t micro dosing

I don’t want to see any shocked faces when we pull out of NATO and announce we’re going to join BRICS

Ever have that dream where you were stark naked and running backwards through a cornfield?

Confederates Crusaders those who Participate in Caucasian Paramountcy Puritanical Perversion Police (you’d be perplexed what can be perceived to be profane) A full Spectrum of Sadists Satiates Socials Debutant Dipshit Dinner Parties and Studio Audience Support Groups alike

Instead we are promoting these nifty birth control goggles

If you say the guardrails are gone and you don’t become a roadblock or a speed bump and just plan on being an occasional rumble strip on the shoulder Maybe just retire

Been thinking about MGS5 lately

my advice to reporters trying to figure out what Trump is doing

The Rules as told to me by a sociopath. Rule #1 There are no rules. then continue the list with a whole bunch of bs to keep everyone busy arguing the rules end with See Rule #1 showing the results of the steamrolling that has been happening from the beginning Like a grand prestidigitation reveal

Wow! An app I can see news stories that I don’t need a Time Machine to be prescient