wake up, have a song in my head about the character I hyperfix on, feeling very anxious. I'm afraid to be left alone so I keep people at bay I think... Aaaaaa time to take a xanax now I guess. I need to draw so badly but it's painful.

I don't wanna go 2 sleep. I wanna keep day dreaming. I've been in intense day dreaming and rp those last few days to the point that it felt like an addiction. My brain got lots of instant good feelings from it and i would forgive or ignore basic needs because of if

someone get me out of this world, I wanna fall into dreams forever

Wellp my psychiatrist raised my meds. from 10 to 15g and we'll maybe go to 20 if it doesn't get better. I'm so tired, I don't eat well, I wanna stop existing I hate everything that I do, any piece of art I absolutely hate it. I feel like I'm falling into 2022 again oh god. I don't wanna die but

I wanna try but I also very much wanna die

it's painful to be unable to get out of bed all day and do nothing. I'll try to draw at least a lil bit tonight

another day where I haven't done anything. I wanna draw but I feel so tired. aaaaa

I wanna keep hiding in my bed

I tried to work on a cosplay and my brain began to overwork on its own, starting to replay memories, not even bad ones... But I felt so much anxiety and I have no idea why. I had to take a lil xan to calm down and avoid a crisis, and now I'm in bed trying to rest and chill out.

[ Intro ] ______________________________ | [He | They] DemiBoy | > Young adult -ADHD - | Artist - SH recovering - Unemployed | | > Sonic - FGO - SKYcotl - | VOCALOID - OSU! - YumeNikki | |> I mostly just yap like there's | no tomorrow in here [ #ventsky | #venttwt | #promo ]

I see "make weird art" a lot, and the long version of that (in my head) is "make what you actually want to make, because if you compromise for commercial success and public approval you could very well fail at that anyway, but if you make something you like, you'll always be proud of it."

I wanna be a cute boy without being misgendered but that's impossible. The view a lot of people have on gender suck ass and we all suffer from it.

I haven't done shit today, I was watching videos all day because I couldn't move and I was so tired (I also think that my blood pressure was kinda low). I tried to take a break from doing stuff on my phone but my brain got extremely loud and I began overanalyzing shits around me like crazy

Holly shit my dad opened a white wine bottle that was soooo good, I drank a bit of it after we opened it together... I wanna drink it again !!! I love getting drunk on the good stuff, let's just hope he forgets about it because I'm definitely gonna finish it tonight.

I found Kirby in the wild once.

I forgot I had this vent account, I began to use the one I hand on the bird app but I HATE it so I went here and OH realise that I also have a vent account here yayy

Hiiiiiiii

nobody cares

I wanna drink too, but drinking makes my belly hurt. I don't like drinking, my belly is too sensible it's annoying

and that's when the death wish comes in. aaaaa I wanna drug myself so much. Like the whole package of xanax

I don't understand why I thrive in keeping myself locked down. It's comforting ? probably. It's so comforting I want to keep it like this, But it's painfull, I find comfort in the uncomfort. why. why i'm so used to it i guess. this is why people never really escape long term depression ?

I'm back because stupid old me haven't been to the clinic and is keeping all the anxiety inside. I know I should let it out but I can't. I mean I can. But I don't. I wanna keep loosing myself in my hobbies or hyperfixation or whatever. I wanna forget myself in all of this

I WANNA DIE

I honestly hate myself, I do awful things, realise I do that, and don't change my behaviour. It's the worst thing that you can do and I hate it. I hate myself, I'm awful and I'm victimising myself I hate it I hate it so much

I WANNA SELF HARM SO BADLY GRRERRRR

I won't self arm, it's too stupid and I'm too stupid to do that, I will just die internaly and play video games until I colaps

I might self harm tonight... I've quite a while ago and hasn't done any for a very good time like maybe a year or two idk but oh man I wanna do it so badly it's awful

Aye I'm tired of seeing people, I wanna hide myszlf from people, I wanna get away, I wanna live a live with nobody, I think I hate people and myself, I just hang out because they need it and sometimes think that I need them but I'm so better living all alone on my own .. Is what I wish. I don't thin

Oh boy oh boy. Someone shot me in da head

I should die, I should die Oh god I went back so violently into how I used to think about myself. I don't feel as bad as I ised to, I'm not that empty, I think I'm full of life and I hate it. How did I went back to that, why can't I evolve to something better, a healthier way of thinking

I will see my friends because they need it, I will hide everything because I don't deserve them

I won't eat today because I don't deserve it, I don't deserve anything, but I'm already hunrgy and I will eat something because I'm an absolute bastard

I should die I should die I should die I should die

I don't deserve to be happy, I don't deserve to be alive, I'm just a heavy thing that doesn't do shit with it's life. I don't deserve to eat, I don't deserve to play, I don't deserve to have all the things that I have, I should sell it all, then give my money, then leave dad's house and die

Thursday Rising 2!

😨

Help help

I wanna die but I don't wanna die but I wanna die I hate it, my belly hurts and I want to hurst myself but I need to not do it cuz it's bad and I was able to not do it for a good amount of time BUT I FEEL SO BAD HELP. It's funny because I could call a my bf... But I can't... Cuz I think I don't trus

My dog died some months ago and he was afraid of me. He was afraid of everyone exept my dad. I'm sad. I'm so sad. My dad wants to kill the bunnies that have been running around in our garden and eating our flowers. I told him if he prefers the flowers over the bunnies and he asked me "

Also I'm struggling for so many basic things. I need to make calls, I need to take appointements, I need to do stuff but it all feels impossible when I feel so down... And it's not like I'm able to make it either when I feel okay. I hate it, I can't properly fucking work like everyone, I can't face

I had to redo a bin account like I used to have on twitter cuz I'm unable to talk about my emotions to other people and it hurts so much. My father got mad as I was getting angry over something. It's like I can't feel anger when I'm around him cuz he will also get angry