Okay, yes. I'm good at getting angles. Getting people to open up. I can't feel my body, It's freaking me out.

It's a telenovela!

He didn’t even want me in the end. I mean, look at my neck. I'm fucking bleeding down to my ankles!

...I could be on my knees in a second.

Please, man. Look, I'm just a shitty little kid from Modesto...

He said five...

I wanted drugs. We didn't even have sex, man.

I never said that.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't want...

I can't...

You both fucked Lestat?!

Why say, "Hey, vampires are real. Here's almost all the story"?

He said that to me too. A bunch of words, but it started with "rest".

I’ve heard the cry of danger. Sometimes very strong in the middle of the night, and then at other moments like an echo.

I deserved to have my ass kicked. For the sheer number of times I said "And then what?"

And you know this, how? You guys have a thread on 8chan?

The woods have always been filled with these soft doe-eyed things, with hearts beating for the arrow, the bullet, the lance. And now at last I reveal my secret identity: I have always been the huntsman.

Suicide hotline 101. Don't say to the person on the other end, "Why don't you cheer the fuck up?"

We had drinks, you paid. We cabbed to your place in Divisadero, you paid. Did we...?

You're not dining.

You're at the table.

Once again, that's the voice of the vampire Armand, but continue to disregard it, as he remains off the record.

That's why I'm coming after you, Real Rashid. You, I can fucking break!

You know, Real Rashid, I'm pretty good at my job. A bright young reporter with a point of view.

Armand, I need you.

What do you mean, millions! You throw your clothes away after you wear them, you rent apartments and forget where they are. Do you know what a zip code is, or a tax bracket? I’m the one who buys all the goddamned airline tickets. Millions. How are we going to get millions!

This feet in the rocks shit is bullshit.

It's just small stuff like... Like, you and the tractor salesman in the bar in New Orleans before you killed him. You said that Lestat telepathically told you that you were scaring the salesman. But a maker can't do that anymore after transformation, right? Yeah, I figured as much.

Maybe I could, uh... cheer you up?

This is what I want to be, which is why I cannot stand to look at him.

I want it, I want to live forever. I want to be with Louis and with you.

How long is your boyfriend's lunch again?

Are you two gonna finish each other's sentences for the whole session?

Sequels, audio books, sex toys.

I'm a bright young reporter with a point of view.

I am not your fucking boy. I'm an old man with all the triggers that come with it. And I'm ready. So let's do this.

Goddamn it, do it yourself. You’re five hundred years old and you can’t use a telephone? Read the directions. What are you, an immortal idiot? I will do no such thing!

You think you can drive me crazy, don’t you? Well, you can’t. Let me tell you. Every time I lay eyes on you, I realize that I didn’t invent you, and that I’m sane!

I see you have my book there, what do you think of — [starts coughing]

No... [sniffling]

Hey, man! I've sold millions of these books, more than Johnny Grisham, or Prince Harry and the Prisoner of Santa Barbara.