I always fantasize that we'll have a national moment of Recognition, after which we return to consensus reality, but I know it won't happen. "Look mom, the Emperor is naked!" "Fake news!" "He's taking a dump on the street." "TDS!" "He's rolling in his own feces." "Arrest this traitorous child!"

"It is my deeply loathsome duty to introduce: that lazy, ignorant, loudmouth fool; that pathetic, whiny, pathologically lying braggart; that filthily corrupt and greedy conman; that shameless, degenerate violator of women; a man so vain, he probably doesn't think this speech is about him..." #SOTU

I'm old enough to remember when one "proof" that we needed to topple Saddam Hussein, because he was too dangerous a megalomaniac to be deterred or contained, was the fact that he was obsessed with putting his name and image everywhere he could.

"Sir, since Charlie Kirk's killer was actually on the Right, I've taken the liberty of replacing everything you said about 'the Left' with 'the Right'. So do you stand by your statement that 'the Right hates America; they have to be destroyed'? And who exactly are the Rightists you want to destroy?"

1/ "In a stunning development with the potential to settle the Trump-Epstein controversy permanently, the late Jeffrey Epstein himself testified today that President Trump knew 'nothing at all' about the illegal activities he promoted. Mr. Epstein testified through the medium of Paula White...

My Crackpot Plan to Save Democracy OR #AfterTheTrifecta, Let’s start with the assumption that it’s still possible for Democrats to play the rigged game and win the Trifecta in 2028. (If it isn’t, then my scheme below is really out the window, and something else has to be tried.)

I predict that there will be no split within MAGA, let alone any "rebellion," due to the administration's new "who's this Epstein?" stance. No matter what they've said in the past about how Trump was going to break the "Epstein coverup," they'll all turn on a bitcoin and roll over for Dear Leader.

We owe an apology to Imperial Japan for making such a fuss over Pearl Harbor. Obviously any nation has a perfect right to bomb any other nation they suspect of building weapons that might be used against them. No crime, let alone “infamy” in that.

Carrying a note at all times saying “if I die before I can say goodbye: I love you, my dear wife, and Fuck Trump. However, if I die because a pro-Iranian targeted me as an American, I just want to say: I love you, my dear wife, and Fuck Trump twice.”

All hail our God-Emperor for imposing tariffs which are absolutely necessary to address our national emergency of trade deficits which rob us of our manhood! And all hail him for wisely revoking those insane and indefensible tariffs which were bringing on a global recession! I am not in a cult!

Trump doesn't fear the law, bc the justice system has been thoroughly corrupted in his favor; He doesn't fear the electorate, bc he's well on the way to thoroughly corrupting the electoral system in his favor; So the only thing he has to fear is armed revolt. I don't like this conclusion, but...

You're in a large apartment complex which requires constant maintenance. Two companies are bidding for the two-year contract, and everybody votes on who gets it, with the losing company still having some ability to veto the winning company's plans. (1/3)

Suppose Trump "succeeds" in throwing Canada into a 2008-level recession, to pressure them into joining the U.S. The avg. Canadian would then see their income decline by about 5%. If Canada knuckles under, that means their people would give up national independence in exchange for a 5% raise. 1/2

RFK Jr. being appointed to run HHS is not so much Caligula appointing his horse to the Senate, it's Caligula's horse appointing a bucket of his horseshit to the Senate. And the Serious Civil Centrist press is reporting that the bucket is "controversial" for its "populist" views.

Free talking point for Dems: "Suppose Trump gifted a childish, vengeful egomaniac with a nuclear weapon and told him he could do anything he wanted with it? Well, with the power to control government money, Elon Musk can kill thousands of people because he doesn't like them. Impeach them both!"

Proposed 28th Amendment: "For purposes of law, corporations shall not be considered 'persons,' or accorded any of the legal protections accorded actual persons. Nor shall monetary contributions be considered 'speech,' or accorded any of the legal protections accorded actual speech."

In an Alternate Universe where reporters valued "combatting lies" above "Access!" we might see: REPORTER: How do you know that DEI caused the crash? TRUMP: Common sense. R: That's the bluff which every incurable bullshitter offers to avoid admitting he knows nothing at all about the topic.

WRONG: “This violates the established rules for running the executive branch; we are very Concerned.” RIGHT: “He’s firing the inspectors so he can more easily get away with all the crime and corruption his greasy heart desires, and the firing itself is a blatant crime, a big Fuck You to all of us.”

Trump Sends "Strong Free-Speech Message" With Posthumous Pardon of Streicher -- by Peter Baker. Julius Streicher, the mid-20th-century German newspaperman whose racial opinions were denounced as inflammatory by the Allied establishment of his time, received a pardon today from Donald Trump...

In 2039 or thereabouts we will learn that certain pollutants activate the brain centers responsible for the "dark tetrad." CEOs of the pollutant-producing industries knew this and encouraged more production, reasoning (correctly) that pro-cruelty voters would vote in pro-pollution politicians.

In Shakespeare's day, lenders got around usury laws by making the borrower (in addition to paying the allowed interest) agree to "buy" stuff from the lender at absurdly inflated prices. Now they're getting around bribery laws by agreeing to pay "settlements" of absurdly spurious lawsuits.

Was just hiking, took a fall and cracked a rib. Got driven to a hospital and got treated. When "Libertarian" Billionaires own all the hospitals, I will have to demonstrate that my hiking shoes were appropriate for the terrain, or they'll deny treatment because I bore responsibility for the injury.

WRONG: "For Donald Trump to be President of all the people, he must rise above retaliating against his political opponents during crises such as this." RIGHT: "Trump is just entirely making shit up because he's a moral and mental degenerate who completely lacks the capacity to do anything else."

I'm at least hoping that, much as Marie Antoinette is remembered as "the Queen who said 'Let them eat cake'," Susan Collins is remembered as "the Congresswoman who said 'I think he's learned his lesson'." And that some useful decapitations follow both.

Repost with your first crush.

Thought of showing what a cynical liar Katie Britt is by going “What if WE did that? Pointed to some atrocity under Biden (immigrants drowning, women facing death for ectopic pregnancies, trans kids murdered) as evidence of *Trump’s* failure?” But the response would be, "but those are all cool!”

I don’t know if I want to be THAT healthy. (Nobody in the hospital knew what the putative non-obscene meaning of the orange trouser snake was.)

If nominated I will not run, and if elected I will not serve, despite all the efforts of Ezra Klein, Ross Douthat et al to fix things in my favor. Vote Biden-Harris in 2024!

If your galaxy-brain plan to replace Biden with Democrat To Be Named Later rests solely on the claim that DTBNL would run better in the horserace, a decent respect for the intelligence of your readers requires that you show how brilliantly you have handicapped past horseraces. Anybody? Anybody?