Note to self: It’s easy to cave in. It’s easy to give up. But that’s not the path of someone who has tasted fear, stared down the unthinkable, and kept moving. You’ve been bent, battered, burned, but never beaten. Your courage is chronic. Your hope is stubborn. Your grit is the quiet....

Recovery is slow and I'm sort of living in a lockdown again as I'm too vulnerable for public places and being around people. This David Shrigley card sums up my day-to-day pretty well!

Update: had an X-ray & my right lung is still leaking air, so the chest drain has to stay in. Signed my consent forms for the RIG tube procedure next week. Thank you for supporting us. It makes every bit of difference as we navigate this rough patch. gofund.me/822b3760d

When you are in a hole, you awaken the life force that is sisu: IN: “I can’t do this” OUT: Sisu IN: “This is too much” OUT: Sisu IN: “Why me?” OUT: Sisu When you think you can not go on, you can. This Finnish engine keeps you moving.

Off to feed the ducks and geese peas, kibbled maize, red dari, and wheat. Strictly no bread! I've got a 2 hour feed through my nose when I get back.

If you are in a house of pain, then you might as well play it! Pretty shattered again today but it's hour by hour with ups and downs.

It's hard to believe that a few weeks ago, I was in Critical Care on a ventilator with my heart, kidneys & liver failing. Now, I've just managed a litter pick. I had to stop after one bag as I'm not strong enough yet, but at least I've done something to help keep the area tidier.

Porridge oats and lettuce for the ducks this morning. Survival is the name of the game for all of us. Walked a tad further today, so that's an improvement.

Hospital visit update: my lung is still healing and so the drain stays in for another week. Immunotherapy treatment has also been paused. My chest, feeding and weight loss all need to get better first. It’s overwhelming, but I’m holding on to the belief that my body can still fight fiercely and...

It's all good in the wood. The best part of my day is getting outdoors. It's colder now, and I have no meat on my bones but that fresh air is medicine. Thank you for all the support I'm receiving. If I don't reply to a message, don't think I'm being rude. I do read everything.

I'm not yet strong enough to take Hetty for a walk as she would pull on my torn lung. So, this is a posed picture instead! My wife now has the reins! I can play Pooh-sticks though!

Not out of the woods yet. I'm not sure I have ever been! Finding a way.

I've not cried for a long time. Yesterday I did. It wasn't feeling sorry for myself. The tears flowed because of my wife and daughter. I want better for them. They deserve so much more. I fight for them.

Hospital update: my lung’s not fully inflated yet, so the chest drain remains for as long as it takes - progress is progress, even when it’s slow and takes its own steady pace. Big effort this morning. Healing isn’t linear - just grateful for every breath that works a little harder.

Today's achievement: I managed to wash and dress myself. It's not easy with a chest drain and feeding tube but I did it, in a fashion. Little wins.

When I received my first Stage IV cancer diagnosis, my understanding of the miracle of life hit home. My second diagnosis of Stage IV incurable widened that awareness into something far deeper and more sacred. And now, with recent events, I find myself living on a level of understanding I never...

I'm going to show folks. 2 weeks ago today, I was in ICU with a collapsed lung and multi-organ failure. Life-saving expertise, care and support from so many talented people means that today, I'm walking around my local ponds with a chest drain and feeding tube.

My posts at the moment might not reflect my daily positive narrative of the last 5 years but I am far from done. I'm receiving incredible support on here. Unfortunately, a tiny minority haven't, calling for me to 'be put of my misery' which I find abhorrent.

I'm back home now, which, of course, is brilliant. I was struggling on the ward. The realities of being nose fed and having a lung drain are huge, though, so there is an enormous burden on my wife as she is now effectively my full-time carer. There is so much I can not do yet.

Today is the first day where I've started to get my head around what multi-organ failure means and how close I was to dying. I’m absolutely shattered, and it's just hit me that my recovery is going to take months and months and months. This has been far bigger than I realised.

1 week ago I was on a ventilator & hooked up to various gubbins & now catheter is out, & I have one less chest drain. Lung not fully inflated yet & big decisions have to be made about my feeding as it is currently going through my nose & possibly permanently so. Hate being on the ward.

I've worked hard on my mental fitness over the years and always knew that it was crucial. In hospital, this gets a severe workout as there is so much to cope with. I'm certainly being stretched at the moment and trying to maintain my discipline.

I am now off ICU and on a ward. Still a way to go yet. May have to have a permanent feed to prevent this happening again. Extremely challenging situation and tough days ahead.

Still in ICU but off ventilator. In a bad way. Had multiple organ failure and life-saving op. Told I'm doing well but it doesn't feel like that. Being fed through my nose. This is the most undignified experience of my life. Need help with all personal care. No photo. Too rough.

I'm now in hospital with a collapsed lung which Docs are unable to drain. Without an op, the infections will kill me. Op is tomorrow am. My family and I need your love, support, shares and help more than ever. Thank you. I will update further when I can. gofund.me/41874cbe6

Mission for this week: keep producing courage, resilience, hope, and optimism on an industrial scale.

Visting our bright and beautiful daughter today in Liverpool, where she is studying. It is so great to see her! 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

As a third of my life has been fighting two Stage IV cancers and the horrible side-effects, I often wonder how much more productive I would have been without all this. Please continue to share and support my story, thank you. gofund.me/86c8cdcca

The best therapy comes without walls or Wi-Fi, and nothing heals, steadies, or lifts quite like fresh air. It’s the cheapest and finest luxury there is. Out here, every breath reminds you what matters.

Hills build legs. Struggles build souls.

Sometimes, standing still is the best way forward. Even a statue outlasts the storm.

Done! I'm now making a swift exit to walk Hetty! 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

Today, I head off for my 69th immunotherapy 'spa' treatment. I’m not in the best shape for this one as pleurisy has thrown a spanner in the works, but I'm not missing it. There's more than one battle to fight.

Even when cancer blows the wheels clean off, a stabiliser - routine, hope, love, purpose - can still keep you upright.

When you uplift others, you don’t lose your strength, you multiply it. Empowerment isn’t a transaction; it’s a chain reaction.

Despite the pleurisy, I still managed to do a bit of pro bono work in my community this morning. No one will know it was me - it might not even be noticed at all - but that’s not the point. It simply feels good to quietly do your bit.

Pleurisy 1 Johnny 0 Thankfully, that's not full-time, and I'm looking to equalise and take the lead. The game’s not over. It’s just getting interesting.

Feeling pretty bashed up and kicked in with pleurisy today, which has me doubled up in excruciating pain. It can be a side-effect of my treatment, so coupled with jaw pain, it is a bit of a tester. Please continue to share & support, thank you. gofund.me/ac9edc38e

Brush it off, hue got this!

Install optimism. Run compassion. Debug despair. Be the upgrade people didn’t know they needed.

Tin hats on - a new week, new battles, same relentless spirit. We’re here to do life business and just get on with it.

Weekend manoeuvres with Mrs D and Hetty, Part 2. We lapped it up!

Mrs D and I on weekend manoeuvres in the hills and getting plenty of fresh air!

MRI was on Monday, just waiting for results- no idea when they will be reported on. Trying not to think too much about it, so plodding on. Please continue to support & share if you can, & massive thanks to everyone who has helped me get so far towards my target 🙂gofund.me/366bcf001

Remember you are the boss of you. You are The Governor, Mon General, El Jefe. You are in charge of you. Be the Commander-in-Chief of your own mind, the CEO of your decisions, the Governor of your grit.

GRIT Dosage: One stubborn capsule twice daily - more if the day fights back. Take with a full glass of determination. Directions for Use: – Swallow whole - do not chew or sugarcoat – Do not skip doses, even on bad days — especially on bad days – Can be safely combined with failure

Today’s a rare coin - don’t waste it in the wrong slot.

Morale isn't found in speeches, it’s brewed and every campaign starts with a cuppa. A teabag is first aid for the spirit and the smallest weapon of resilience.

Today, I'm MRI-ing & living the dream lying perfectly still in a giant magnet scanning for answers, not setbacks. If you've not had a scan on your head before, this is incredibly noisy as the vibrating gradient coils bang, clank and knock. It's an experience and a privilege.

I trust everyone is in fine fettle today and taking strength from some fresh air.