I won’t say this year’s discourse has been dumber than previous years, but I will say if the academy doesn’t move up this show to at least February I’m taking a flamethrower to the internet

Hollywood really convinced literally everyone deeply cares about Lorne Michaels

Soldier: sir? General: *typing ‘how win war Iran’ into ChatGPT’* one sec

You always know an Emerald Fennell film is going to be bad, but then you’re there and like…damn this is worse than I’d imagined

Everyone mocked that stupid groundhog and now he’s going to bury us under 2 feet of snow

I never remember it’s Ash Wednesday unless mark wahlberg shows up on my tv with a giant cross smeared across his forehead

Paying streaming services that used to be free $5 more every month until the revolution

Having to explain to a boomer that electronics don’t have standard plugs anymore and you need a USB cord and a stupid little cube, and yeah those things break constantly and you’ll need to buy new ones all the time, is a great way to go insane. 10/10 recommend.

I know everyone is cold and depressed but at least you’re not my mom’s cat who just discovered I’m staying over

These guys are the only muppets who are real New Yorkers. Argue with the wall.

is this good

Finally watching Ella McCay and making it everyone’s problem

My mom constantly referring to Zohran as “your mayor.” Mine. I did that shit. You’re welcome.

Googling when is Super Bowl also who is playing in Super Bowl

Somehow got on a mass mailer for a NY Girl Scout troop selling cookies and my first thoughts were: 1. how did this happen, and 2. good for them!!

Friend: *texting me about the terrible state of the world* Me: *trying to focus but this is in my peripheral*

Me, bravest man in the world: “Return to Silent Hill is better than The Brutalist” (I have never seen The Brutalist but I loved R2SH in spite of literally everything about it)

Me, bravest woman in the world: “The Testament of Ann Lee is better than The Brutalist”

Alex Pretti’s coworkers take a moment of silence this morning

Entering my hibernating bear era

Organizing all my little tax documents during the full fascist takeover

Alex Pretti was a colleague at the VA. We hired him to recruit for our trial. He became an ICU nurse- I lover working with him. He was a good kind person who lived to help and these fuckers executed him. White. Hot. Rage.

As mentioned on today’s ep, if you want to send some love to Minneapolis, consider donating to Families Helping Families to support families in need of assistance for food, rent, medical care, and more: givebutter.com/famshelpingf...

Joke’s on you, idiots. I wasn’t happy in 2016 either

If I was a programmer I would make an interactive game where it’s like the sims but you learn insane gossip about the townsfolk

Mamdani says it’s now legal to slap the phone out of someone’s hands if they’re recording in a movie to post on TikTok

banned for life from the apps again for saying “to get someone else’s fingerprints on this gun” under dating goals

Big week for learning who’s never read the personal life section of Bardot’s Wikipedia

Friend: *sharing deeply vulnerable details about their life* Me: *waiting to talk about which actresses I think wear wigs*

Never heard my mom shout during a movie until I took her to see Marty Supreme

*guy leaning forward meme*

Today I heard someone say “by Central Park” but I heard it as Bisexual Park and thought I missed some major news

No one looks confident riding a citibike

Marty Supreme Christmas Day motherfuckers 🏓 🧡

Anytime the MTA is spending millions of dollars to redesign the turnstiles they should hire teenagers to see if they can still get through without paying because this shit is embarrassing

I received notice seconds before recording this ep of a class action settlement compensating me because my work was used to train AI. So that was a cool headspace to kick off this ep! 🫠

This baby who keeps trying to spike her iPad like a football on the train is my hero

Come listen to me be mean, then feel bad about being mean, then double down on being mean 🤗

You’re not enjoying Edgar Wright movies as much as you used to because you’re not 15 anymore. Hope that helps.

As an A-Lister, if I see two movies in a single day, the CEO of AMC should text me to say they’re proud of me

Sort of afraid I’m never going to top the feeling of Dick Cheney dying and Zohran winning in the same day

Now if Zohran wins we’re legally required to party

I just walk around looking like this all the time now

I’m fine how are you guys

“SO much better than the Mona Lisa. That shit is TINY” —Girl next to me at MoMa as we look at Van Gogh’s Starry Night

POV: you are trying to live your life but I have access to my phone

Today we discuss how the polka dot dress lady is the hero we need right now, Bugonia, After the Hunt, Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere, and The Perfect Neighbor. I liked 2 of these films! ✨

Seems important that people saying Jeremy Allen White sounds like Bruce in Deliver Me From Nowhere know that they may literally be hearing Bruce’s voice? lol

The old dudes at the Springsteen movie did NOT vibe with the trailer for wicked

This times a billion. As my friend @allisonkilkenny.bsky.social once put it in her book, “Don’t get yourself a team, get yourself some fucking values.”