Festive #caturday wishes from Velvet.

When it's your 19th wedding anniversary but you have a toddler and it's a public holiday and you have no help for the day and your husband is crippled after a knee op and can't really do much... Family home spa ftw.

D.E.I. shot the serif, but I will not shoot no Calibri

WHAT IS IT WITH OLD MEN AND FEELING THE NEED TO WATCH VIDEOS ON THEIR PHONES IN PUBLIC AT FULL VOLUME WITH NO HEADPHONES ON??? I CANNOT. Just needed to yell that into the void. Seemed a better life choice than assault.

Would love to know who's currently being treated at Sunninghill Hospital. Lobby is overrun with burly bodyguards and there's a row of six matte black BMWs with blue lights mounted on them lined up in the parking lot, next to a black Bentley with a driver hanging around 👀

Now is the time for Gauteng criminals to may hay, given that our entire police force is apparently spread along the G20 route closures. As long as you keep away from main arterial routes, the province is yours.

At OR Tambo International Airport and there's a massive power outage. Sitting in the lounge, which has no lights and also no water (because pumps are off) and you can spot the international travellers from a mile off. They're the only ones not just carrying on as usual, phone torch in hand 😂

The most entertaining part of being a ghostwriter is always sitting in the audience at a client's fancy book launch and hearing them field questions about the writing process or why they close particular words 🙃

Typos today courtesy of my new keyboard. I'm so used to typing on my banged-up, decade-old one with the keys that require different pressures that I can't quite manage with the fully functional new one yet 😂

I know I am very late to this party, but I have just watched Mission Impossible Final Reckoning and would just like to check if AI was the villain or the scriptwriter because wow, three hours of my life I will never get back.

Bought this dress for R135 (just less than 8USD) in the kids' section of the thrift market and it makes me feel like Alice in Wonderland.

I never imagined I'd be the one on the community WhatsApp group offering free rye sourdough starters to a good home, but here we are. Sharing a good thing is the yeast one can do.

Reminding myself that the worst scenarios often make for the best stories later on. Today's will be "The time my husband accidentally gave my dad's car keys away to a homeless person".

Cute things my almost-two-year-old says: Bumblebee = grumble bee

My toddler, waving quite a hard sourdough bread crust at me: "Bread bone, Mama!" Me: "Hmmm... I guess a crust is a bit like a bread bone, you clever boy." Me, 30 sec later: "Although... technically, a crust is more like a bread exoskeleton."

Am at the specialist vet and there's a dog here named Prozac. Love it!

I have my in-laws with us for the weekend and my MIL told me how horrified she is that I would stir her tea with the same spoon I used to stir my FIL's coffee. Then she left 3 used tissues (Kleenex, for the Americans) in various spots on the kitchen counter during the day, which I had to dispose of.

After the shenanigans earlier this month of trying to cut off our electricity because of an admin snafu on their part, City of Jhb came and cut off our water today. When we eventually got through to their call centre, they told us our account is NOT in arrears (as we've been saying!)...

Made Korean fried chicken for the first time tonight and can confirm we will be making it again 😋

Is anyone else as smug about their profession as engineers? Asking for me* *Daughter, sibling and spouse to engineers

I've been supporting another writer with her projects while she spent time with her husband, who had pancreatic cancer. He passed away last week, and I've basically picked up all her projects while she's off. It's been intense, but today I helped win her a pitch she hadn't yet started. So chuffed!

Predictably...

Another rough (Mother's) day. Kid's enterovirus eased up, but he had a raging fever yesterday. We were up most of the night too. Back to doctor today and it's tonsillitis again (no surprise - it's always his tonsils, which will need to come out once he's 2). Antibiotics again. On the plus side...

Ah, yes. Get in there!

What do you eat in your crepes (what we call pancakes in South Africa)? Over the last few months, we've established Pancake Fridays as a weekly dinner tradition in our house. Fillings have included savoury mince, chicken mayo, bacon, egg and cheese, and bobotie. Always looking for new ideas though!

Today has been wilding. Kid has a weird rash and isn't feeling well (which means none of us slept last night), a colleague's husband who had pancreatic cancer passed away (in terrible pain, sadly), and City of Jhb arrived to cut off our power, because our account "is in arrears"...

When imposter syndrome strikes, I encourage myself to go forth with just a fraction of the confidence of the Google Maps narrator pronouncing South African street names.

Two cats and a small bear. #Caturday

Writers and editors around the rest of the world wincing at headlines like this. Winningest. As we say in South Africa, mxm.

They warn you about lots of things when it comes to parenting - lack of sleep, unsolicited advice from strangers, the expenses, etc. What they don't warn you about is the EARWORMS from kids' music.

It was my brother's wedding yesterday. A very special day with lots of happy memories. Made a card. Not the most elegant, but very tailored (my brother bought an old Mazda MX-5 to race, and although I couldn't get the exact model, it was close enough).

Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates. I hope it's been a meaningful day, however you spent it.

You know you've been married to an Afrikaans man for a long time when you've adopted his family braaibroodjie* recipe as your own. *a grilled cheese sandwich, made on the braai (BBQ, usually wood or charcoal and not gas)

Somebody may or may not have been allowed a small sip of milk. (Yes, I know cow's milk is bad for cats, but seeing most of the spoonful he gets ends up everywhere but his mouth, he's okay)

A Tupperware party, but where we all bring our mismatched lids and containers and swap to make complete units.

Made a set of his and hers aprons for my brother and his fiancée as part of their wedding gift. Quite chuffed with how they came out. Very easy project, but I mixed it up by swapping the two fabrics so they're opposite on each apron, and added a removable hand towel, which is always handy.

Sent my husband to the shops with a list that included MedLemon (an OTC cold and flu treatment). He came back with these and asked if they qualified as medium lemons 😂😂😂

Pre and post pspspsps

My kid, "reading" to his doll in their cute matching PJs (I liked the onesie so much I bought it in two sizes, so now the doll gets the one Noogie has outgrown).

O captian, my captian!

On what feels like day 6003 of rain in Joburg, we're doing an attempt at contained messy play in the kitchen.

Dyeing rice and pasta for sensory play and thinking how having a toddler gives me licence to indulge my own inner child.

When the dry Jhb air has become a grave affair, a sheet mask can lift the spirits.

Rainy Sunday mornings are for bougie homemade breakfasts and lazy cats.

One of my cleverer ideas 😜 🧶 A southern tamandua #embroidery #handembroidery #blueskyart #sciart

How is it possible that so many corporate media affairs people seem intent on dodging all media engagements? I ask this as a journalist looking to give a brand some *positive* coverage. IT'S LITERALLY WHAT THEY'RE PAID TO DO!

Rainy day Moz means the bed gets half made.

post a picture of you that's not actually a picture of you:

Blessing TLs with #flyingdog