Finally, an international day for me, a man

One of the best feelings of vindication in the world is when you're reading a thread you've never seen before, a completely separate context from the threads you usually read, and find a couple pages where everyone is dunking on a poster you already muted for their behavior in another thread

If you say "here's breakfast" when it was actually dinnertime, your dog is legally allowed to eat you

That's probably the worst field goal attempt I've seen in years

we're libbing out

time to take my victory lap

I sure hope there aren't any sexy costume ladies at the arcade tonight. I'd be so scared

Does this look like the face of a hesitant referrer to you

nooo baby don't explode me to death you're so beautiful haha

Because I'm one of those people who can control their tensor tympani, it's insanely easy for me to avoid spoilers from people who are leaving the movie I'm about to see

Whoever got to put up the sign must've been marveling at their good fortune

I have been forced to admit defeat against my enemies (wearing sweatpants instead of basketball shorts because it's cold)

Due to various circumstances, it looks like I'm going to be eating Night Breakfast

Pig dog

This lady is dragging her boyfriend(?) because he gave too large of a tip. Stay strong, bro, don't listen to her

If you say "here's breakfast" when feeding your dog, but it's actually dinnertime, you have to give them an extra treat as recompense

Dude why are you laying weird, why are your paws so short

Opening the window while I'm eating so the food tastes different than usual

I had completely lost track that season 3 started this weekend

If you walk down an aisle at the grocery store that didn't have any items you intended to buy, you're basically admitting defeat

Dog farted himself awake

Golden hour

It'd be funny if an OF lady was sincerely swiping into your profile but you thought it was just marketing tactics

Some day

Taking a quick shower to cure my necrotic frostbite

Dude you're sleepy, just put your head down

Last night I saw One Battle After Another, and the first time that someone on screen got blapped, the person behind me jumped so hard their phone fell out of their pocket and hit the concrete

He hates and loves mahjong, as he hates and loves himself

Can't get off the couch to go to bed until the dog wakes up

I had a dream that I was shot in the head, lying motionless on the ground and presumably dying, and two nearby stooges were trying to save me by blowing dirt off the remainder of my head

Fixed a partial clog in the sink today. So that was good

He is an unusual dog in that he doesn't really care that much about playing with toys. But he does like to dump them all out onto the floor occasionally

He's lucky he doesn't know how vile the commercials are during this game

It's funny as hell when I post a series of messages and data to the effect of "people often incorrectly believe that they don't use XYZ factor at all" and immediately one of the goobers I'm talking about saunters in and says "i never use XYZ"

Last night a lady was petting the dog and talking to him, so he started trying to impress her by eating leaves off the ground

Of all the things that lie therein, rubs have to be #1

Eating a couple slices of bread will basically turn you into the wolf from Tex Avery cartoons

The dog is so tired he doesn't even want to come lie on the couch with me

Radical Audio Visual Experience

Tonight, another exciting installment of Dog Shit Roulette. Did he actually eat that rock, or did it fall out while he was thrashing around as I tried to pry his mouth open? Will those pieces of bread be enough to let it pass through mostly harmlessly, if he did eat it? Who knows

These missed tackles are exquisite

Belichick being forced to watch 6 defenders whiff on a tackle definitely feels like some kind of karmic hubris punishment

He's right

That's right, dog son, avert your eyes from this game

Dog sleeping peacefully at 9a as if he wasn't loudly licking his feet at 730a

Only upside to having stitches in your mouth is that it's basically doctor's orders to eat a big bowl of noodles with butter on top

Got a loaf of bread that's perfectly ripe