Maybe don't get your ideas about history from a cartoon where all the animals talk But then again, they have those in the bible, too. So yeah, they'll believe anything.

Can we get the Vatican some aloe for that BURN!

"But it was a different time!!" Because, apparently, divinely objective moral edicts change over time.

Damn near every apologist I ever respond to.

Truer words were never printed.

Which religion? All of them. All the religions. They were all made by men who used them as a method to reinforce patriarchy.

Don't you want to join the ranks of annoying A-holes who ruin everyone else's nice time?

And taking everything from you, as well.

And, of course, by "devil" I mean corrupt, power-hungry religious leaders. Because actual Satan doesn't exist.

Can we start calling them the "Dipsh!t wrong"?

Because true believers in any abrahamic religion don't really care about the suffering of others. They only pretend to care while alive to amass enough cosmic brownie points to get into heaven. Once there, there is no need to pretend anymore.

Let's be real, most don't read any of it at all.

Not that the long history of complex genetic changes over time is particularly easy to understand, but they willfully refuse to understand it.

Maybe double or triple tap each hand this time.

No greater deconversion tool than the bible.

I might be concerned, if any of them were real.

Hard to know if the religion has rotted his brain, or if he gravitated towards religion because his brain was already rotted.

"Hey, are you stupid but would rather just feel like you're smart rather than actually learning things and putting in the work to get smart? Then religion is for you!"

Ignorance seems to go hand in hand with being deeply religious.

Yes, the results are the same. But at least your toothbrush actually exists.

"How do you know what to do and not to do without a god to tell you?!" "Uh...because I have a functioning sense of empathy?"

They forgot to include: "Do you think you know everything while being barely literate?"

The only thing we DON'T have is the delusion that our imaginary friend is actually real.

You can almost hear the dueling banjos.

Whenever anyone says that they will pray for me, I suggest that they instead take that time they would have spent praying and use it to pay a random person an unprompted compliment. Doing so will actually have an impact on the world and make it a better place in a small way.

It's becoming impossible to sh!t on American christianity without simultaneously sh!tting on Trump due to how much they have deified him.

Can't see what isn't there!

Nor do they want people to have access to actual information.

Hey christians, don't you EVER get tired of being wrong?

Don't forget, he set them up to fail, knew they were going to fail, had the opportunity to stop them from doing so, then LITERALLY acted surprised when they did.

If you're dim enough to believe the bible, perhaps inbreeding was present in your lineage.

I've never seen a better, more poignant explanation of religion in my life.

Why would I want to spend eternity with Billy Graham or Kenneth Copeland?

It's actually been shown that video games make you less violent.

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be altar boys.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of fellow primates who are ignoring that "do the least amount of damage" part, because they are convinced that their imaginary friend, who is all goodness and love, want them to F' a lot of sh!t up.

Church. Where intellectualism and critical thinking go to die.

You think if Jesus were to come back, he'd ever want to see a f'ing cross again?

Religious indoctrination is child abuse.

It's funny because it's true!

And WE'RE supposedly the ones who want to escape accountability? You A-holes don't even have to apologize to your victims!

Nah. Monkeys are smart enough to not believe in god.

And just like Benny, you've got to be a pathetic little dweeb to believe that works.

Well, you know, if he were truly all good all the time...

In honor of a crazy holiday with nonsensical bunny-related traditions, and the news that a new Animorphs series is in production.

I've always said, I became a much more kind, caring, and empathetic person when I stopped believing in a god who condemned people. And I was suppose to glorify in his work. So on some level, I had to be happy about their condemnation. This is the unspoken horror of abrahamic religions.

The fact that your own daughter can't tell the difference between you and a black man in makeup is far more telling than you wish it were, ma'am.

And when he doesn't show up (cuz him not real) we can use them to put up anti-MAGA posters!

It's crazy how much this country is regressing. I suppose drowning witches and stoning adulterers is just around the corner.

The real groomers are, and have always been, in the church.