FIRE CUBE

A thing I like on here is that the active user base is small enough that I know Mark Cuban gets to see some Leninist anonymous furry account destroy him

Couldn't sleep last night. Tasks completed: 1). Refiltered water kefir 2). Fed kefir tanks 3). Set a couch on fire 4). Started working on a talisman for a gift 5). More electrolysis 6). Cleaned and fixed my printer Maximum productivity.

Update to the salmon candy canes: After spending the time consuming half of one, I've pinpointed the flavor exactly. It tastes like dandelion essential oil after rubbing a sardine on your upper lip.

Holiday treats

I'll never get enough of people posting: "Want to learn an infinite food hack?" *Describes agriculture*

Cauldroned

Down to the bare metal now. I can finally start seasoning.

Cauldron is stripped of whatever weird paint they had on there. Found out they did it to cover an unholy amount of rust. So it's in the electrolysis vat for now. After a few hours, I'll start seasoning it to make it actually functional.

What even is sienna and why can no one cook it properly?

I just saw a video where the AI caption took the name "Boca Raton" and referred to it as "booger town," and I think this is the first time I completely support AI.

I was recently gifted a small cast iron cauldron that was disgraced years ago with thick layers of black paint. Unfortunately, electrolysis has failed to remove it, so I will be getting some wire wheels tomorrow. On the plus side, I can now start electrolyzing the other 6 pieces I've neglected.

I woke up to a text from my wife letting me know that while I was asleep, "you whispered 'bromide with a German accent.' I didn't quite understand what you had said, so I asked you to repeat yourself, and you did. You said, 'Bromide, the element, with a German accent'."

My new propane company is obviously run by people who don't understand technology. "Click to install the app!" *Links to instructions on how to add the customer portal website to your home screen*

In which I decide to share a vignette written over a decade ago about a rug.

While the following advice may seem to be common sense, I feel that it is something that needs to be reiterated based on my most recent experience: Do not breathe airborne habanero pepper powder. This has been a PSA from Yara's Dumb Shit Oversight Committee. Thank you.

FYI. I decided to get myself a substack. I plan on having 2 primary kinds of posts: generally informative occult-adjacent topics Walled occult hot takes If interested, you can find it below. Just made my first public post that "briefly" goes over what it was in my life that made me a magician.

It's been over a decade since I last made water kefir. I'm impressed with how well it came out, and had forgotten just how refreshing it is.

It's currently 32°F outside. The furnace at my house hasn't been working for 3 days. I just spent the last 4 hours dismantling, diagnosing, testing, and repairing that soon of a bitch. It's working now, but goddamn. Sometimes, homeownership is the worst. Lol.

The ingredient distribution of this ice cream is fucking bullshit. I'm palpably angry and other people need to know about it.

Getting better with each talisman made.

The thing I love most about surrealist poetry is finding new interpretations when I forget the inspiration.

Why is it only ever one of two options when it comes to the occult? 1). They dabbled in the occult, so there were spirits 2). The person was a witch. So, obviously haunted Where's the "she was a very successful witch and sold her totally normal home for 3x market value"?

I'm always hypnotized by the final product when etching a talisman. #chaosky #witchsky #occultsky

I dreamt that I shut down a men's fitness center they put it at the top of a mountain that they kept lubed with oil, because they didn't have wheelchair access.

I dreamt that everyone had an astral thread attached to their eyes. Every mile you went, you had to staple the thread to the ground. Otherwise, it would lead to mental anguish. When a person was dying, they had to unstaple the thread and let their eyes float into the sky.

Bought this last weekend and just figured out the perfect ratio for making tamarind agua fresca. I'll be able to make a grotesque amount. I'm so excited.

This should last me a while.

I was doing some cleaning today. Found a mandolin. I don't know how to play the mandolin. To my knowledge, I've never purchased a mandolin. I don't know anyone who plays the mandolin. Not sure what I'm gonna do with this.

Conversation with my wife: "Bobcat Goldthwait is in this?" "Who?" "He was a popular comedian in the late 80s/early 90s. Like Andrew Dice Clay." "Who?" "Goddammit. I'm not *that* much older than you"

Myself and others are in the process of building an entire festival next year focused on chaos magick, eclectic witchcraft, and non-dogmatic occult practices! Right now, we're brainstorming names and are taking suggestions. Have any you'd like to share? #chaosky #witchsky #occultsky

I dreamt I was editing a book on magick and had just finished a section on the importance of pumpkin stems in the use of curses and traps.

I dreamt I was a Bedouin on a pilgrimage from Albany, New York to attend a funeral. Wearing black robes through an airport, I was taken to a boarding lounge where my clothing was mercilessly mocked by 3 siblings that I chastised to tears using the words taught to me by the University of Sand.

Never argue with someone John Brown would have shot.

Camp Chaos has been blessed by an owl's oversight.

Carnival of Khaos divination station at the Chaos Magick Track.

Finished just in time for next weeks Carnival of Khaos.

Niihka was so happy to spend the afternoon outside with me as we prepare for the upcoming festival.

My wife and I have finally obtained a second car. She wants to give it a name. It is a 2021 Toyota Highlander. I suggested Connor MacLeod. She said no. I suggested Car-nor MacLeod. She said no. I am in utter despair.

I don't remember the context for this, but I found it again, and now you need to see it.

My wife and I are at a car dealership. I have been courteously informed that "would go well with a 'boner wagon' bumper sticker" is not a valid selection criteria.

If we're falling into the clutches of a Christo-fascist state, can we at least bring back some historically Christian laws? Like, can we make all forms of usury illegal again? That'd be swell.

I dreamt that my doctorate thesis in anthropology was actually a demolition derby race and that each participant was given access to a junkyard in order to build a working car to enter.

I dreamt that I was a record executive compiling a series of albums that featured international covers (mostly of bands covering songs that weren't in their native language) called Universal Announcement.

I dreamt I worked at an ice-bound refugee camp in Wisconsin next to a holiday store called "Buy Christmas" that was run by my daughter, Trilloby Qolberth.

I dreamt that I gave pedal-powered dirigible rides at high-school sporting events when not teaching classes on incendiary making.

I have been getting 15 minute email updates on the availability of cardboard boxes that people are being encouraged to take home. I'm glad they've decided on a valuable use of company time.

I dreamt that I was made an international celebrity, being flown around the world and hosted on countless TV programs, for my ability to peel off my lips.

I dreamt that I was 13 years old and fell in love with a girl named Boat. We spent our days running through a grocery store, yelling at crabs for not having enough mojo.