end.

oops

small update: im going insane

post something random or no obligation to post anything November will be ok regardless

is this acct dead?

scratch that, they were being stalked and had to go offline

officially been ghosted, so far 0/2 for dating

I've never cried like this

i've been panicking non-stop for 5 days now, my partner has been just gone, not online, or responding to texts, just nothing

im worried, its been a few days of nothing from someone, i'm hoping theyre okay

holy hell i found smth cool the St. Louis and Hannibal had a custom mack model AD railbus streamlined and numbered 55. The railroad went bankrupt in 1945, and i discorvered its fate!

older now almost 20 lol

i need to cry but i cant and it hurts

My dream AFT 250 excursion, wont happen but i can dream Starts in the Northeast, Boston area. Pulled by two AFT 250 livery engines to NYC. ACS-64 in AFT wrap takes over to Washington DC. Reading 2100 and 2102 doublehead to Roanoke until the 611 takes over between Roanoke to Savannha VIA Norfolk.

I FELL IN LOVE AGAIN YAY

pronoun update i use she/her, they/them, and it/its now, all 3 sets feel right

forgot how fun railroader can be when not forcing myself with a challenge

well im excited ill be getting an HO scale AC-11 on my b-day as a nice gift from family

ngl seeing how ive changed in the past 5 years is wild I went from a homophobic and transphobic straight guy who hated furries and anything not in the bible to a transfem puppygirl whos existance is not in the bible at all

BLUESKY GIVEAWAY: - 1 Bigscreen Beyond 2e: @vrchat.com Edition (no 10 years of VRC+, sorry). As long as Bigscreen can ship to you, you're eligible. RULES: - must be following me on Bluesky - must RT this post you must be comfortable with me ordering it for you!

i just wanna NOT live though historical events almost daily, i feel like shit rn from stress/panicking

i just realized ive seen all the 2-8-8-2s left in the world, all two of them

haven't even worked a day at my job and i might quit, its been constant panic attacks

h e l p

so fucking tired

over 24 hours of panic attacks, lonliness, suicidal ideation, and overstimulation its been hell

i am so overstimulated i just want affirmations i just want to be accepted i just wanna feel loved maybe held too

itll just pass itll just pass ItlL Just PSAs ITlL JuST PASS ITLL JUST PASS PLEASE FUCK WHY

why's it feel like ending it's the only option sometimes

is it bad i cant look in a mirror or i can do almost nothing for the rest of the day?

back home after the vacation, feels nice

Video is a little bad but the audio is an eargasm Reading 2102, White Haven, PA August 23rd, 2025

Same job as yesterday

Hotels pretty cool

Gotta say, the EBT is one of my favorite railroads now, even more than ever

Well I own a part of a steam loco now Turn out the EBT sells old/useless parts, so i now have a part of 16s old pilot

Loud ass train

While waiting for the 2102, the OCS gave us a visit

Big fucker

5 hours of driving, one train A NS AC44C6M serving a general mills factory

Today's the day

well, i miss love

The puppybrain thoughts are only stronger now Its so much more than little thoughts now I just wanna be pampered and pet and smothered with attention

Feelin puppy brained at 4am So fuckin eepy but do much energy and so attention hungry

thinkin abt gettin the BLI 2-8-8-0 once i start gettin paid

12 days

wplace is real neat ngl

2 weeks

15 days...