Just an FYI: if you ever see me in a photo and I’m making a ✌️ sign, I’m letting you know that I’m being tortured and held against my will.

Tornado warning interrupted a meeting at work

I promise you that if you gave me cocaine, I wouldn't act normal either...

I mean I want to joke that it was all staged, but enough people deeply hate the motherfucker that it doesn’t make sense. I just wish the shooter had properly practiced his naruto run.

I could hear the gas turbine generators spinning up last night to produce the massive amount of electricity needed to run the data centers to produce the stupidest, most uncreative “gotcha” images for the most boring and uninspiring dipshits in the wake of the shooting

Film you’ve watched more than 6 times with a gif

Allergy meds are kicking my ass “Non drowsy” bullshit

This never would have happened if they just taught kids cursive in school

Vaginis

Oh well

Hey did Donny Trombone 23 skidoo?

Doogie House MD

Band name idea: Hypersonic World Dingus

Computer is there any way to generate a nude tayne

DURING YOUR SPRING CLEANING RITUAL MAKE SURE TO CHECK YOUR FRIDGE FOR ANY SAUCES WHICH MAY HAVE BECOME SENTIENT

"Obscure US city"

Mob boss: “Why did you hire people to goon?”

The family on my front porch

There are table legs everywhere for those with toes to stubb

Popeye but instead of spinach he just smokes weed and he's really into Brazilian jiu-jitsu

Dogs aren’t real

"I think we have such a big problem with homeless veterans due to the third amendment of the constitution. We should repeal that." -someone in power, next week probably

🍞

I feel like there’s going to be a day when It Happens and the remaining administration is going to have a few days of Weekend at Bernie’s style zaniness

Stuck on the beach in a cybertruck surrounded by podcasters. This must be one of those Jigsaw punishments

Accidentally interrupted the lesbians mid-smooch on the way out to the trash can

Benjamin Spanklin

My new band “The White Hot Breath of the Ass” is on tour and will be stopping at Your Moms House on the way to Idahoe

You can always tell who’s in charge by looking at what’s censored and what isn’t. Like for example you can’t show a man’s erect penis in an R rated movie But you can show a geoduck during the Saturday morning cartoons

Church of Mormon Cops and the Ladder Day Taints

I have an idea for a podcast called “Dans Little Dick” and it’s hosted by three guys ok one is named Dan and another one’s last name is Little and then the other one is named Dick(not Richard) and basically the show is about really jacked up trucks and life insurance and showing hole

tango echo romeo foxtrot sierra delta india echo mike alpha delta

I think if you actually do your job without the aide of ai, you should be paid a premium as if you’re providing some kind of artisanal experience.

Drama on my roof the other night:

Some girls just like to watch the world YEARN

If you have a bat for personal protection And you think someone has broken in and you think you may have to use it Put one of those big condoms on it So if they try to grab it out of your hand, they get that stinky condom lube on their hands and it grosses them out and they leave

It’d be cool if this would upload now

“Disliking AI is a form of violence” It’s springtime and the whole internet needs to be shut down and everyone needs to go outside. Now

Organ doner kebab

Remember the hellish days when an electronic musician would hype up a new album release only for it be: -two good songs -two objectively boring or bad songs -seven songs which are just remixes of the first two

New Boards of Canada So I guess there’s that

Can you imagine what Japan could do with weed if it was legal there?

The opposite of this, where a complete dipshit Artax is floating away like a smoothbrain helium balloon while Atreyu is dangling upside down from the stirrup and losing his goddamn mind

Hey bsky, y'all should hire some PEOPLE who know how to WRITE CODE

There’s a barred owl on my roof and I would post video of it but YOU KNOW

To be frank, cigarettes did more for my social life than social media ever did

VIBE CODING AGAIN