WHO THE HELL IS CLEMENCY!

SO HAAAAALEY ATE THE SWITCH!

[Grumbles.] Nobody ever blames Silkie for eatin’ a Switch or scratching the couch…

WHAT’S THAT GOT TO DO WITH THE SWITCH?

It wasn’t me.

The Ghost of Christmas Present?!

[Slowly turns away.]

YEAAAAHHH! (But lotsa great memes.)

Mysterious...

Man, I wonder what else is packed in that big brain o’ yours.

………………

YOU HAD THEM ALL ALONG?!

Nope. Nuh-uh. We’re not answering a question from 2018.

/ UR MARRYING SUPERBOY PRIME????

TIM?!

I used to answer fans on Tumblr.

/ the sentence construction is sending me but these are ancient texts i respect it

The miracle of life.

Pause. Are you suuuuure you wanna trust your baby to me—

What’re we telling Dick and is it that Redlightgreenlight’s preganate?

[Taking out his AirPods Pro 2 with 2x more Active Noise Cancellation, Adaptive Transparency, Personalized Spatial Audio, hearing test, and up to 6 hours of listening time.] So.

Enya x Dougie remix brainrot.

[Staring at nothing.]

[Flipping through the comics in the corner bookshop, the rustling of the pages louder than any surrounding noise from the occasional customer that passed him by. It really was no wonder Raven liked to come here every now and then. Because even with the grey hood pulled -

The dawg does not concern himself with eating the Switch. His hunger is reserved for better, tastier things.

Wasn’t me.

Ixnay on the oggyday oorday!

HEY!

[Steeeeeeps right up next to @xenothief.bsky.social, looking incredibly thoughtful.] No attacks? No nothin’? Just standin’ around to visit? [Suddenly looks around in alarm.] IS THERE ANOTHER ROBBED WAYNE ENTERPRISE BUILDING WE DIDN’T HEAR ABOUT—?

[Criminal offensive side-eye.]

[Bombastic side-eye.]

I think I’ve seen this film before…

/ omg i finally feel it SLEEP IS TAKING ME IN brb

[Hastily pointing at Steve.] What are we gonna do about our fridge now?!

NO! I’M CLEAN! WHAT?!

What are you on about, Tim…

[Slinking back down to the ground in a mess of black and green goo, already in his human form.] Euuuuuugghhhhhhhhhh… [He lifts a shaky arm up, sniffing, and begins to dry heave.]

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! (It doesn’t look vegan-friendly—)

OH— GAR, I’M SORRY—

[A DEATH SCREECH THAT ALMOST RESEMBLED ‘TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM?!’]

Heard this plot in an anime once, but the guy was haunting a toilet.

[AIRBORN MONKEY SCREECH OF BETRAYAL?! He finds himself latched onto Steve. Face-to-face. A little too close for comfort. Then, he screams and smacks him across his face.]

[FRANTIC AND VERY ALARMED MONKEY NOISES!]

STEVE?! It don’t look like a Steve!

[Climbs up on Tim’s back as a monkey, one arm clinging to his head and the other pointing indignantly at stranger danger emerging from their brand new SAMSUNG RH64DG53R3B1EF Side-by-Side (E, 1780 mm high, black) refrigerator.]