We could all use a timeline cleanse, so here, enjoy these two pictures of clyde's touched up flame tail

I've got that feelin' again (that pain in the back of my throat that tells me I'm getting sick) Could we just Not please?

Every time I'm like maybe we need to get rid of the train table, it's just used as a catch all, my son goes and makes an elaborate setup and so it remains ever in my living room 🫠

My son just asked if Minnesota has trains, @defnotadino.bsky.social can you confirm 🤣

Got a parking ticket at OT when the meter and the app have both been broken for months I'm so livid but I do have screenshots Do I have to go to court though 😫

My husband bought this book at a library sale and it is NOT subtle 😅 (I love it!)

I hurt my back and now I'm scared to walk or lift my baby This sucks 😔

Just had to have "the talk*" with my baby 😕 *"Don't throw your food to Clyde just because he has a sad face"

Baby pooped herself awake early from her nap so I guess I'm tagging in my co-parent, Ms. Rachel, so I can finish my work

Watched a video of a guy playing guitar and singing to elephants who came up and started swaying and apparently it's not AI and now I'm crying because elephants are amazing and humans have killed so many of them 😭😭😭

Sharing the first birthday cakes I made for my kids. Themes: Mr. Onederful, First Trip Around the Sun (it's hard to see in the pictures but it's light pink, purple and blue with edible glitter)

How can Malinowski run in the 11th if he was a rep in the 7th 🤔 no carpetbaggers in my district, please

Me riding the high this morning after my son's conference where they praised his growth and told me he's academically ready for kindergarten and he's getting along well with peers and learning coping strategies, to me at pickup when they told me he bit a classmate again

Baby just got her MMR 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

I swear to God I want to die and come back a dad so I can fuck up constantly but the bar is subterranean so no one will care

One thing I've noticed when my son gets a little out of control with other kids is that moms will almost always redirect in a positive way and dads will almost always yell at him And yet they never intervene when their own kid doesn't take turns or snatches Interesting how that happens 🤔

Every time I go to CVS I pass the screaming rubber chicken statues of Liberty and every time I consider buying one because it's just too on the nose

Baby fell while I was making my son's lunch, best I could guess is she was trying to climb up the couch, slipped, and scraped her cheek on one of his toys. It's a big boo-boo, will probably bruise, and I'm low-key freaking out bc her well visit is on Monday 🫠

There is nothing good for lunch in this house and I am *THISCLOSE* to ordering Panera delivery for myself* *my son wouldn't eat it and my baby isn't picky so she can have leftovers

Today I: -Delivered a car load of donations to the food pantry -graded some tests -dealt with baby poop in the bathtub with no other adult to help me -made dinner -put both kids to bed without help (husband had a work event) -managed to do some work I *earned* that Nutella on a spoon, gdi!

I started to watch Frankenstein and it's so visually stunning (GdT is a master) but it's also kind of gross

Ok so like ... is this THE Epstein files? Or is there more coming? What exactly are we expecting to happen here? Other than being able to say "the president is a p3d0" and it's actually documented ... I don't feel like much has changed and I highly doubt maga cares enough to turn on him

I was supposed to co-op at my son's school today but at 8:30 this morning he decided he wanted daddy to go instead and I can't tell if I'm relieved (real feel of 28 right now!) or hurt 😔 I definitely have fomo lol

Every single time I've called Andy Kims's office to ask for him to take a position on something, a few hours later he's taken that position. Specifically Andy Kim not Booker,. So I just left a message asking for him to call for Senate Dem leadership resignation. If it happens, you're welcome 😆

My baby just started walking short distances (!) and I can never get my phone out fast enough so I have a million 1-second-long videos of her falling to her butt

Called and left voicemails while changing my baby's diaper and i want both @kim.senate.gov and @booker.senate.gov to know that my baby's poo smelled less vile than capitulating Democrats

Will call, but wonder if tagging here works too @kim.senate.gov @booker.senate.gov do not cave with nothing in return are you fucking kidding me

You guys will never guess the biggest size in the bag

Someone tell me why For both gift-giving events so far (first Xmas and first birthday) My sil has given baby a huge bag of clothes In big-kid sizes, up to and including 7/8 She is ONE Am I supposed to store these for SIX YEARS (Is this weird? It feels weird)

"Clearly it's a party for me, not the tiny human"

A very happy Thursday to the 20-something kid at PT who, when I was getting my ass kicked by an exercise, said "God gives his hottest angels the biggest challenges" and ONLY to that kid 🤣

If the sandwich don’t split, you must acquit

The best peppermint mocha I've ever had in my life was from a small coffee shop across from my son's old speech therapy office. IDK what magic they put in it (sugar, most likely) but JFC I dream about it

can’t believe people voted for something so antiemetic

One thing I keep thinking about is the pundit class trying to put Mamdani against Sherrill/Spanberger as the future of the party, but IDK about VA but Sherrill ran on the same things: affordability, protecting neighbors She didn't have the flash or the social media team But there's HUGE overlap

There are more of us than there are of them.

I want to watch Mamdani speak, but I'm crashing after spending the entire day in fear And it wasn't even close! Purple state my ass!

Let's fucking GO new Jersey !

I want to cross stitch this

We did breakfast for dinner per my son's request but alas, eggshells in the pancakes 😭

I don't think I'm going to breathe until the results are in, whether it's a victorious gasp or a dejected sigh will depend Do we think it'll be called tonight? 🤞🏻

When you get a delivery during the baby's nap, you have to distract the neighborhood watch. Cheese will suffice.

🤬 www.nj.com/politics/202...

I'm trying not to doom spiral about the governor election tomorrow but I'm failing pretty badly

Ok folks, the time has come: Hit me with your favorite pill organizer My only specs are that it has a day/night section and I'd prefer it be cute, but function over form first I can't believe it's come to this

I finally got prescribed meds for my lifelong untreated ADHD I took my first dose of concerta this morning And I don't really feel anything? I'm still tired I did scrub the entire bathtub after my baby pooped in the bath though 🤣

My 4yo, about Clyde: "he's an idiot baddie. We need to throw him into the fires of Mountain Doom"

I can't wait for my kids to go to sleep so I can eat some of their candy, I've finally made it as a parent