Dear dad, Peacocks cannot lay eggs. You're thinking of the peahen. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

Oh. Another shutdown on the horizon.. 🙄 Can we have an ACTUAL government shutdown for once? Like when a shitty call center is still open on a Tuesday night but had locked and chained doors on a Wednesday morning because everyone was fired overnight because everyone in management was a slimeball?

This rapture could have been an email..

Anyone know if dogs with autism have been raptured yet?

In regards to GWAR, untwist your filth-soaked, shit-dripping, too tight, fucking, ass hole-less panties.. Those maniacs have ALWAYS been anti-machine.. THEY KILL EVERYTHING, after all.. What is this? 90's shit, daytime, talk show tv again?

Hey! If anyone isn't too busy blowing lines of Tylenol or getting raptured today into tomorrow.. maybe send a fellow some good vibes and energy love because I have a phone interview tomorrow for a place I think I'd be a great fit for.. 🤞 Please and thank you 🙏💜

..remember, that's it all in your head..

My hamburger buns are still soft and not moldy like, nearly 2 months later.. and at this point it's probably because rfkj injected my bread with some sort of cancer causing polio strain.. or something

He's always, just constantly, shitting in his diaper, right? Lumpy farts aren't normal, but I see some kinda connection between a few words on my immediate mind lumpy dump chump lumpy dumps chunky dumps lumpy chumpy dumps funky syphilis bumps I mean.. I used to rap.. I can do this all night..

Me anytime someone says Bob's Burgers isn't funny..

Not to jump on a bandwagon here, but Earth, Wind & Fire were dope as hell. Such great music and presentation! Also, it's a PERFECT day to Release the dumpstein files. Deport homan. Terminate killermeade. Punch a nazi. Feed people. Donate clothing. Hug your kids. Love one another. Drink water.

I see very much doom from a very many of you. We know everything is fucked.. We don't need to be throat fucked on it, post after post after post.. bring some levity to your page.. try cracking a joke or showing us your cat's belly.. don't be just a cog in this terrible machine.. Please. 🙏💜 Ffs..

She's at it again, serving up some pasta tonight. Easy lesson but a valuable one. Shit still better be good, or she's downstairs.

My lovely daughter just told me "you aren't THAT fat", which was neat

She absolutely nailed it.

My daughter is cooking us dinner.. a steak, some tatos, macncheese and some peas.. this is her run, so I'll be mostly hands off.. will help as needed only.. She better not fuck it up or she's sleeping in the basement.. with the possums.

I am not a perfect person. I have committed transgressions in the past that directly go against my own current understanding and message. That doesn't mean I'm a hypocrite, it means that I have learned and grown through my past to be a better human in our present, and hopefully our future together

Remember when Red bought the compass instead of the gun, despite trying to fuck his parole because he didn't think he'd survive outside without being told when he could take a piss.. then he found his old friend.. and found life and joy again through hope? That part was right fucking on. ✊🏆

One spins, One measures, One cuts. None exist without the existence of the others..

The part where Andy willingly takes two weeks in the hole after blasting Italian opera over the loud speakers at Shawshank is what radicalized me

Gotta hand it to myself.. I'm a pretty awesome home chef and the secret ingredient is always cat hair..

I find it interesting that "animals" like deer (elk, moose, etc), elephants, giraffes, wolves, bears.. even tigers and lions sometimes, have understanding enough to bow their heads when they meet and honor/respect another life form, meanwhile you fucking humans are still out here being trash..

I can only assume that shit will obviously get way worse before it begins to level off and perhaps "get better".. As the fucks running this shit hole are trying to kill us all, please remember, now is EXACTLY the time that we need to unite, practice Patience and Understanding and Love one another

There's no chance for the physically dead, but there is a chance for the mentally dead.. ..so we're gonna resurrect them, by digging up their graves..

"That was the night everything changed.. forever" - Daigoro

The Samurai were both incredibly hardcore and incredibly fucked up about being incredibly hardcore..

Listen, I'm broke and surviving off of unemployment benefits.. in two days I have paid for two neighborhood people, whatever they needed. Both have assured me it will come back to me, and in both cases, I told them that I wasn't looking for anything in return.. That's what humans do for humans..

I'm having an omelette with cheese, fajita steak, peppers and onions, and fresh tomato for breakfast. And a beer. Because I'm a fucking adult and it's beer:30

Hi traveler! Welcome to my disasterpiece.. I'll FOREVER be ANTI on all of the following, inpo Establishment Cops Nazis Fascists "National borders" Racism Sexism Discrimination Daylight savings Pedophilia Violence Rape Ableism Capitalism The church Hate/hate speech Ignorance Animal abuse

An Italian hoagie walks into a bar and asks the barkeep for a double sambuca with three espresso beans but the barkeep says, "sorry man, we don't serve food here"..

Ladies and gentlemen, Chumbawamba

It will remain in but a fleeting illusion, to be pursued, but never attained..

Here’s more information #FIREBRIANKILMEADE

It's never going to be a political page. It will always be a "do better" and "right versus wrong" page laced with jokes and fuckery because we need that balance. I will NEVER sell my only soul for ❤️s. I will NEVER stop the fucking train. Either get on it, or get out of the way.

Scranton showing up speaking the truth..

@michaelwhiteshoes.bsky.social Thank you 🙏

Direct your thoughts here. Just the facts. Proofread. Be direct and professional. [email protected]

Let's get this kilmeade scumbag fired.

You don't know? Listen and download this masterpiece. My man Omega Star is fucking CRIMINAL.

@brokemycoccyx.bsky.social Thank you 🙏💜

I'm just out here spreading love and shitting on anti-love every opportunity I get..

Peace be upon the music makers and the trouble makers.. writers of books and scribes, toons alike, any creator that chooses to shit in the face of our scum overlords.. your art and fuckery is absolutely what we need more of.. Please don't EVER stop that. 🙏💜

This weekend is the Electric City Music Conference. All the hosting venues are too far to walk. Nobody has any drugs. Guess I'll go corner up at a close-by hole in the wall for a bit because I absolutely cannot stand to be in this house for even one minute longer. Stay safe out there. P and Bs 🙏💜

Then there was the ever-present pedophile rapist.. They were all in love with dying, they were signing off in congress.. Charlie caught a bullet and it blew apart his neck, While it could've been a better shot.. RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES INSTEAD

I know a guy whose road rage ended up killing a guy last year. He was ALWAYS a giant/tiny dick on the roads and was always prone to road rage. I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, this guy is absolutely going to suicide inside.. and it couldn't happen to a nicer guy 🖕 I'm not even calling the prison

Billy Joel should be having a fucking field day right now..