In movies, if anyone's cooking at home they're always chopping. Not stirring, or weighing or cleaning, just at a board and chopping away. It's like the world needs to be Julienned.

I'm tired of signing off emails with 'best wishes' and I'm contemplating resurrecting old time letter conclusions. 'Cordially yours'? 'Yours respectfully'? 'With the truest regard'? 'I remain yours entirely'? What about 'Your obedient servant'?

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The contortions I go through to see the title of the book a stranger is reading on the train.

Going out tonight and I'm going to wear my purple silk velvet jacket.

I was researching early 20th century books for 'young readers' and found the Empire Annual for Girls (1911). Had a chuckle at the contributors then got to the Contents and WHAT IS THAT FOURTH STORY?!?

In the olden days writers had to get their ideas via mail order and wait for the postman to deliver a big parcel full of fresh new ideas. Now, writers get their ideas after browsing online, and they're couriered to their doorstep or dropped in by drone. That's progress.

‘Relentless’ focus on literacy undermines reading for pleasure, says U.K. report | The Guardian

The electrical safety switch shutting the house down means you get to play Sherlock Holmes, turning things off, trying the master switch again and again ... 'Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.' Stupid clock radio.

In an orchestra emergency, stick close to the harpist. They'll see you through because they're plucky individuals.

Sleepy ringtail possum.

April 27 - Happy World Tapir Day to all who celebrate it.

Karen Blixen, a lovely pure white rose with a good sweet scent.

It's time to highlight the stunning internal art in Aurealis #189, our latest issue. Get it or subscribe at www.aurealis.com.au This is @chpearcewrites.bsky.social 's inspired illustration for ‘Epimetheus’ by Luke Weavell.

It's time to highlight the stunning internal art in Aurealis #189, our latest issue. Get it or subscribe at www.aurealis.com.au This is Kim Lennard's extraordinary illustration for ‘Little Drid Makes A Call’ by Andrew Nathan Roberts.

It's time to highlight the stunning internal art in Aurealis #189, our latest issue. Get it or subscribe at www.aurealis.com.au This is Zuzanna Kwiecien's superb illustration for ‘Out of Time’ by Carolyn Galbraith.

Best spam text ever: 'God needs to be reverified immediately to keep your services active if you do not act. Now your service will be cut off.'

April 23rd, St George's Day and Shakespeare's birthday. One for the Anglophiles!

Who's a cheeky chappie? A lovely rainbow lorikeet pops out to look around.

Simulation of a nuclear chain reaction, or a demonstration of what happens when an author makes one teeny, tiny change to the work in progress, not sure which.

Popular dog names from the middle ages: Blawnche, Nosewise, Smylfeste, Bragge, Holdfast, Zaphyro, Zalbot, and Mopsus. I love Smylfeste.

Little pied cormorant looking around.

then you’d need an Oslo Accord

A deeply nerdish tip: don't get the Stockholm Syndrome and the Copenhagen Interpretation confused, otherwise you won't be sure if you're the kidnapper, the hostage or both at the same time.

Young Tawny Frogmouth keeping an eye on us.

Aurealis #189, our April issue, is out now! Get it or subscribe at www.aurealis.com.au!

Are you only allowed to eat Lobster Thermidor from mid-July to mid-August? Asking for a Revolutionary friend.

'Profundity through mundanity'. I just thought of this phrase and now I need a sociological/literary/artistic movement, trend or approach to apply it to.

As well as the two-toed sloth and the three-toed sloth, there was once the far more nimble twinkle-toed sloth. Sadly, it died out due to extensive clearing of its natural habitat, the well sprung dance floor.

Here's yesterday's HCBs, before and after baking. The slightly wonky, handmade crosses make them taste better, or so I'm led to believe...

Melbourne Comedy Festival. About to see Lano and Woodley at the good old Comedy Theatre.

In case you missed this thread…

That's why police detectives go around in pairs. One's in plainclothes. The other's in self-raising clothes.

Corporate values statements need to be more grammatically correct. A 'value' needs to be a noun, not an adjective or verb. Thus, not 'Our values are greedy, predatory, ambitious and avaricious' but rather, 'Our values are greed, predation, ambition and avarice'.

Helmuth von Moltke the Elder: 'No battle plan ever survives first contact with the enemy.' Just about any plotter author: 'No novel plan ever survives around about chapter three when characters start doing things of their own accord.'

'Epeolatry' means the worship of words. It was invented by Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr in 1860. Call me a proud epeolatrist.

YA critics simultaneously think: 1. All YA books are bleak and depressing. 2. All YA books have happy, satisfying endings.

There is no rage to equal the rage when a fitness device undercounts your steps/distance.

Things your parents had lots of and you thought they were bonkers until you moved into a place of your own: plastic containers.

Time to showcase the stunning internal art in Aurealis #188, our March issue. Here's Emma Weakley's wonderful illustration for 'The Book of Middles' by E.C. Fuller.

Time to showcase the amazing internal art in Aurealis #188, our March issue. Here's Chris Catlin's striking illustration for 'Anna, in the Abstract' by Andrew Paver.

Time to showcase the sensational internal art in Aurealis #188, our March issue. Here's Lynette Watters' stunning illustration for 'A New Game' by Matt Freeman.

The Future of Books 1. Self-turning pages 2. Quantum books 3. Cryptobooks 4. English translations of major alien works 5. Book/jetpack hybrid 6. Hoverbook 7. Book in a Pill 8. 4D Book 9. Scientific Experiment Spawns a Book that Destroys Cities in a Literary Rampage 10. Lots More Books

Musical decades - you know, the 70s, the 90s etc - have it all wrong. It's more accurate to measure from halfway, i.e. 1965-1975, 1995-2005, because the first half of a calendar decade is almost always rolls on from the previous decade in taste, style and vibe.

When you drop something, does anyone else automatically move their foot to try to break its fall? I've saved several valuable objects this way, and suffered a few injuries. Hint: don't do this with knives.

This morning's Tawny Frogmouths on Darebin Creek.

We're enjoying a public holiday today for Labour Day/Eight Hour Day, and it's a good time to remember those who fought for more humane working conditions back in the nineteenth century.

According to movies, this is how men shave: 1. Lather face. 2. Make a couple of random strokes with a razor. 3. Wipe off rest of lather with a dry towel. Done. NB: all this must be undertaken while talking to someone and sharing important plot related stuff.

Backpacks defy the Law of Gravity. Put one on and look at the way it rides *up* instead of down, taking whatever top you're wearing with it, exposing a waist level gap. Harness this force and the universe is ours.

See this 1930s ad. This is what real self-improvement is about. None of this 'Seven Habits' or Now Power - 'Improve Your Face'!