Listening to “Passive” by A Perfect Circle and thinking of Constantine. You’re welcome.

“My bones are coming in!” is a regular thought when I look at my hands and feel my collar bone.

Just heard some dumbass say that government shouldn’t have to provide clean water to everyone. Genuine question: why do people think it’s okay for people to have to go without water, food, housing, and medical care? Those are necessities. It’s okay for people to drop dead bc they don’t have money?

11yr old me crushing on Bryan Adams: SO IF YOU’RE FEELING LONEY DOOOON’T, YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE I EVER WAAAANT

Me: I’m gonna listen to a different playlist on Spotify so I don’t listen to the same 5 songs again. Also me: They made a Wrapped playlist! I’m gonna listen to it!

I can pinpoint the exact moment I messed up aaaand it’s going to haunt me forever. Thank you for coming to my AIM status-esque confession…talk. I think.

Didn’t realize how miserable I actually was until my psych took me off one med and increased the dosage of another. I hope this good mood and listening to loud music in my headphones and actually laughing at certain things again isn’t mania.

I OFFICIALLY WEIGH LESS THAN I DID IN HIGH SCHOOL

I remembered earlier today that I had a crush on George Stephanopoulos when I was a kid, and boy howdy has it reignited after he cut that couch fucker off. 🥵🥹

I’m going on an impulsive vacation in April and not being able to buy swimsuits and hot/humid clothes is giving me anxiety, because I have no idea what weight I’ll be at when I go. Such a stupid “problem” to have that only fuels my hyper-fixation. 🥴 Fun looking at sun-proof clothing, though!

Losing weight is awesome and all, but losing some padding is making me think about getting one of those booty pops from back in the day.

Down to size 16 from size 20

Also I think it might be related to my complete avoidance of Discord and most texting at the same time. 😞 So I shout into the void here where 1 person knows me! 😅

I’m scared to post progress pictures even though I’ve lost 50 lbs since last October. I think it’s because every other time, I’ve jinxed myself and would rather not so I don’t feel embarrassed later on for making a big deal out of it. I wouldn’t judge anyone else for doing the same. Irritating.

I keep thinking “I HAVE BONES” because I can feel them now. When my collar bone shows, it’s over for you bitches.

It’s randomly super cold so I put on a hoodie and realized just how much weight I’ve lost. Also the first time in 20yrs I’m under 200lbs. Downside is I am hyperfixating like a mofo and my ADHD paralysis is becoming annoying.

God fucking damnit. I was all excited about losing weight until I noticed my boobs are dwindling.

Every time I get a wave of energy to do shit™️ I’m either working or a cat is asleep in my lap and I can’t move. 😫

Something I just realized is that I grew up used to my dad verbally abusing my mother behind closed doors and never saw the signs, until listening to Reddit stories and being PISSED OFF for the victims, and then connecting the dots to my mom’s behavior and how hurt she was. Growing up is so awesome

Randomly checking to see if you’ve lost weight because your sleeve seems loose, and realizing you’ve lost almost 30lbs since last October is pretty wild.

The bass in Fleetwood Mac’s The Chain” 😙🤌🏻

Why do I have “Forever” by Jesse & The Rippers stuck in my head?

Finding out regression is a thing was a relief, but for like, 2 hours.

Me, trying to sleep: My brain: 🎶JURASSIC PARK IS FRIGHTENING IN THE DARK ALL THE DINOSAURS ARE RUNNNNING WIIILD🎶

Remembering when I got a hairline fracture while rollerblading when I was 12 and tried not to tell anyone because I thought my family would make fun of me. Used to be a funny story.

So I misunderstood which line I had to go through for TSA earlier and it was a priority lane, and I was told to go to the other. Some dbags laughed behind me and one said “chuckle chuckle.” I said “how about both of you kiss my ass?” They did not expect it. I also got in faster than them.

BRB gonna pay way too much to cosplay Andie from Pretty In Pink

I was going to spend too much money on good NIN seats, then randomly decided to go to MegaCon next Thursday in Florida for 2 of the days and STILL got a NIN ticket. Someone else needs to take charge of my money because JESUS.

No matter how old I get, I turn into my teen self getting an energy spike and flipping out over how romantic “Everlong” is when I hear it.

Imagine being the German student who got made fun of for their accent for years, only to have everyone think they’re cool when Du Hast came out and asking them what the lyrics mean.

A super cool part of late-diagnosed autism is realizing you laughed at yourself because you thought everyone hated you and you never did anything right, then reliving traumatic events you thought you deserved, then learning jokes you didn’t get, kind of like having sung the wrong lyrics for 41yrs

Ignoring the news and most social media and then opening a social media and seeing names you don’t recognize and then deciding to just get out of social media again to listen to Reddit stories on YouTube for another 8+ hrs/day: 10/10

Sometimes my late dad is in vivid dreams I have, and the next day I’ll catch myself thinking he’s going to be home any minute. It’s more annoying than anything and it would be awesome if it stopped, because he was not a good family man; he should never have had kids or a wife (he had 2).

But also thanks for making me half Canadian, dead awful dad.

Also why is my dead dad that I’m not a fan of showing up in my vivid dreams? Like, you leave me the FUCK alone too, please.

How does one ask your best friend who is hyperfixating on the shit Trump is doing to stop sending me shit when I’m desperately avoiding the real world? Like, in a non-confrontational way?

So FUCKing grumpy

NINE INCH NAILS AND CAMURICAN PAPERWORK SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT WAY TO SPEND MY TAX RETURN AND I WILL STOP SCREAMING WHEN I’M DONE WITH MY PANIC ATTACK ABOUT THE STATE OF THINGS

The most annoying thing is his idiot followers are going to think he’s a cool dude for bringing TikTok back, as if he wasn’t the one who got it banned. It’s probably going to become TruthSocialTok somehow, too. The inauguration isn’t even done yet and I’m already so fucking done.

Had a nightmare within a dream that was kind of a nightmare and now I’m hoping it was Cillian Murphy rather than Leonardo DiCaprio in my brain. I know he wasn’t one of the team, but he’s glorious.

🎶I remember who I am when I’m with you Your love is tough, your love is tried and true blue🎶

The autistic urge to info dump to people who don’t have your same hyperfixation on tragic stories and needing to keep it inside 😭

Heeee

God damn it, I miss Maggie Smith.

So like, I’m “watching” Downton Abbey (for the 523rd time) and I’ve always wondered if English people are really this politely mean. “yOu’Re lAtE wHeN aH SAY yOu’Re LaTe” like calm down, Thomas.

Dear Gentle Reader, DON’T LET ME FORGET TO APPLY FOR DUAL CITIZENSHIP NEXT MONTH

If anyone has any tips on figuring out who the fuck I am now that I’m trying not to people please or mask that I know what’s going on, that would be super.

WHYYY SOOO GREEEEEEN AND LONELAAAAY LONELAAAAY fuck, I love Radiohead

No, Counting Crows, I don’t think this year will be better than the last.