being sick at the same time as my mom is terrible bc who do i call. who do i call she's worse off than i am

we are farmers bum babum bum bum bum bum

turns out i CAN shoot whiskey but only if i am allowed to sing for four hours straight

highlight of the night out was singing old communist anthems as my friends all made out. they invited me to join but i was busy singing

the quit everything and become a farmer instinct has been made more reasonable by the free farming course the employment organization offers they have more free courses and omg WELDING I CAN LEARN WELDING

someone at my uni is using a laser pointer but having never seen those irl i say a red dot on me and for like .5 secs thought I was about to be sniped

being the fastest when it comes to exams is weird bc i was struggling like hell but turned it in an hour earlier like no professor its not easy im just wrong faster

not to be my steak is too lobster my butter is too juicy but i will collapse if my dnd party keeps scheduling so regularly I NEED TIME TO SESS PREP MY MIND IS DEEP FRIED

some days i'm watching my family interact and I just think damn we ALL autistic

not gay not straight but a secret third thing. no not bi either. im like one of those microbes

nothing like learning german to figure out i default to french when panicking

I must not sleep. Sleep is the mind-killer.

shoutout to randomly unlocking pieces of knowledge while doing something else gotta be one of my fave methods of learning

i have decided that i will make my own damned warm stuff. by the power vested in these hands and whatever fluffy yarn i can find

got a stupid cut on my ear and now i look like i support felons

the look cal has when i try to put him in his jacket rather than one of those ponchos hes been collecting

ive had cal kestis and trilla suduri for a week and if anything bad happens to either of them again i will lose it

i worry for the stormtroopers who keep shooting after the jedi lightsaber-blocking the shots just offed a trooper with their own blaster bolt. like honey even if you don't die here you will NOT make it in the wild, bless ur heart

is the "humans need 12 hugs per day for growth" thing like emotional or in height? bc if its the latter that explains a lot

its not even expensive. a wholeass cake. i can get two. i can buy two cakes im going mad with power

okay but when was anyone going to tell me that i could just order a wholeass birthday cake from the birthday cake place. even if its not my birthday. i can order a cake just because. they will never know

normalize emotional support loudness

playing a trombone would fix me rn i dont even know how to, just making the bwaaaap would help

mentally losing it but my sister's playlist is so full of bangers i cant even put my headphones on to mope. id be missing out on peak

feeling the urge to make chocolate cake again

cleavage is the best thing an autistic person can have. my eyes are up here? nono keep looking where you're looking trust me its better for both of us

the aversion i have been feeling to the dinner table needs to be studied why do meals pmo i used to love food

man i want my old house back :(

live free. listen to the cringe shit unironically

me when the most unredeemable, terrifying, war-criminal woman shows up on screen: baby :) me when said woman faces the consequences for her actions: noooooo my baby :(

the autistic urge to vanish from whatsapp for the entire weekend and say nothing to nobody. i ain't here

trap queen remix but where right after the hey whats up hello what comes in is "my name is elder price and i would like to share with you the most amazing book. hello. my name is keith and the book is by RL Stein it's one of those goosebumps" and then the song goes on as normal

i have no idea why i am allergic to chocolate cake nor why i forget that fact until i make and eat chocolate cake banger cake tho 10/10 worth the reaction

me, dreaming: ohno the ghost in this room is holding my arms down i can't move also me, grabbing my own arms while asleep: it's me. hi. i'm the problem it's me

on the other hand if anakin skywalker had talked to obiwan about HIS horrifying ominous nightmares, he would have not lost the majority of his limbs, so maybe obiwan works too

i'm not SAYING the terrifying, consecutive nightmares about my weekend trip are an omen, but like. i'm also not NOT saying that, where can i find a pocket jesus

me, a nevermo putting on the umpteenth video of an exmo making yet another deep dive on LDS church lore: everybody shush my show is on

self-sufficiency tip: if your parents don't compare you to your more successful cousin you can do that yourself actually

some kid who is currently attending my old middle school has a blog thing roasting the teachers and its the funniest shit ive ever read in a wholeass decade the only change is that the most high-strung, angry teacher i had is now high 24/7, good for him

who would win cal kestis questioning when his life became fighting a really big frog over and over or me, refusing to move on with the story bc i found a good spot for grinding xp (IM FILLING THAT MF SKILL TREE HERE DAMN IT)

making a script for small talk, being prompted into small talk, successfully small talking... only to then be admonished to not be friendly with strangers is such a mortifying experience like noooo it was scripted! it was so clearly scripted it was entirely impersonal!

have lost the plot. where is it. can someone point me out please how do i find it again why am i in the woods

"but the terms of service" that sign can't stop me because i can't read

i will reload the youtube page as many times as i need for my adblock to work. screw you. it'll take time anyways and i choose to spend mine not watching the ad

and today on what made my mom worry: i'm patient apparently

sometimes i think abt a group of guys at my senior prom who snuck out to smoke but they all thought it wasnt their turn to bring the weed and the guy who actually brought the box forgot to put the weed in it and just brought those paper wrappers so they ended up smoking crushed leaves off the ground

i have more friends than i thought possible. "go to college and make friends" they say. my brother in christ i am hardly managing these five how am I meant to juggle MORE friends on top of this??? i am a simple tired introvert yall i cannot have more groups

me having an existential crisis and my mom showing up to say "no you are Normal and we Love You" thanks but right now i would like you to at least consider i may be a little fucked up

fkn love me a green field. shit day gets better when i see the sun over the green field. more fields please