A drivers license is basically just a selfie with WAAAAY too much information.

I've learnt a lot from the movies over the years, such as how to count using Roman numerals... I, II, III, IV, V, Balboa …

I just sneezed so violently, I think it qualifies as an ab workout.

I love it when people immediately recognizes a random picture and knows EXACTLY where it's from.

Call me crazy but I'd rather not have an urgent PSA about safety start with "uh oh"…

I was given this book on overcoming procrastination in 2011 ... I STILL haven’t read it.

Just a quick PSA: In case you were wondering, if you keep your thermostat at 68-72 degrees and you’re worried about it showing 75+, your system is probably absolutely fine. Hard to reject heat when it’s 100+ degrees outside.

Samurai Cop wore it better

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald - Gordon Lightfoot

‘Gilligan’s Island’ is on Tubi

How old are you… this old

X AE A-12 gon give it to ya

My caffeine level right now is somewhere around "terrified chihuahua"

Anything but the metric system 🙄

I wonder how he’s gonna celebrate?

No argument ….

The kids that wouldn't let you borrow a pencil in class are the same ones that won’t let you merge on the highway now

Happy Mother’s Day!

Words can’t express how proud I am of my daughter, Molly. After weighing her options she accepted her admissions offer to James Madison University! Her hard work, & character have paid off. Here’s to the next chapter at JMU—go Dukes! 💜🎓 #ProudDad #JMU #GirlDad #NextChapter #Dukes #jmudukes

Blue smoke – Boy Pink smoke – Girl White smoke – Pope

This is exactly what every adult argument on the internet sounds like.

April 29th has been a tough day for Ryan, Molly, my family and myself ... To say there are far too many lives that are lost to suicide is an obvious understatement. National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or dial 988 Please Like and Share

You know you're in the Oregon Trail generation if you went to school too late for nuclear bomb drills but too early for active shooter drills.

The most unbelievable part of Rocky has to be the constant access to empty parking spaces in front of his house in Philly.

Without saying your age who's your first animated Crush

People seem to overlook the most important thing about Jesus … He was the worlds first b-boy

Eggs are finally cheap again!!! Only $1.49 !!!Thank you Trump !!!!

At least one Roomba has probably run away because someone left the door open.

Another Phillies Opening Day in the books for my daughter and I

Milk crates are like a Swiss Army knife for the poor... Need a stool? Milk crate! A bookshelf? Milk crate! A side table? Two milk crates!

When you’re just rooting for both teams to have a good time!

<Ron Howard Voice> "Pete Hegseth did not, in fact, know exactly what he was doing." www.thedailybeast.com/hegseth-boas...

The money you put aside

If I was God, I’d hint at my existence by doing something random. Like making everyone on earth shit themselves, at the same time, every 132 years

Quick question for Warren Buffett ... What if I picked a perfect NIT bracket?

Strutting into work Sunday afternoon after Saint Paddy’s Day Saturday like:

#PiDay Fact: Tug McGraw had a career ERA of 3.14

I knew this reminded me of something….

Damn gophers …

“Pinky is a highly trained CIA assassin. ‘He's a very loving cat’ is the code that activates him. He’s our pet of the week.”

My Grandpop served during WWII in the Navy as a medic transporting the wounded from the Japanese front stateside then slaved as a Union plumber to support his wife and 7 kids. I find I often can’t text people back because I’m too tired.

All this time … I’ve been adulting all wrong

“Have you seen my precious, brother??”

I was going to take a shot at a postal joke, but it didn't deliver

I respect the Amish, but I wonder which invention it was that caused an entire group of people to say "No! No more technology for us ... Ever"