Spacy and a lil floaty today

A customer was asking questions/chattin w me at the end of my shift and E goes "do you need me to save you?", saw my face and went "oh nah.... you def don't need saving" YALLLLLLL. It started w basic work related questions, then we just started chatting about other stuff and I WAS VIBINNNNN

How did I be the one stuck holding the drinks. The A&W bag is on the floor in front of me and it's KILLING me that it smells so good and I won't be having any

I'm so ITCHY and have a ton of rashes WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY (Lowkey might be my allergies kickin up BAD bc of stress)

H side eyeing me earlier while reading off a sku "846.....7.... go ahead, damn it, do it" LISTEN. IM SORRY. I BLAME MY SECOND JOB, SOME OF THEM DO THE 67 THING AND ITS STUCK IN MY BRAIN

He didnt even chat w me. My hours next week are cut to 25 WHICH IS WHAT I WANTED MONTHS AGOOOOOOOO FINALLY. I CAN SUFFER IN PEACE MORE OFTEN

Also didnt rlly seem to question me skipping the usual coffee (Ill just throw it up anyway probably, and besides I dont deserve it)

There was a radio show that made jokes abt mental health on the drive in, and dad SO didnt pick up on fkin anything, jokin, along that today is NOT gonna go well for me "Do you wanna be heard?" LITERALLY was thinking abt how no matter how much I talk openly about it, nobody cares, they avoid it

Seriously fucking love my second job. Never want to leave. Told bossman that I was afraid to tell main job about newest shift bc tmmr is a "chat" and he KNOWS how first job treats ppl and the mental shit I'm going thru and he's being so fucking understanding and helpful 😭😭

Giving kids stickers is giving me the joy to get thru this shift

Mom was confused I was so calm going in today. 1, I dont have a shift w him till Tues so we cant "chat" till then. 2, my meds have numbed me a DECENT amount, not totally, but enough I think. 3, I've accepted my fate at this place of work lmao

Not including my energy drinks or coffees under 50 cals

It's a S(O)AD music kinda night

Stocked up on essentials w my discount , should be enough to last a few months at least. Thinkin what else I'll need to snag before I prob get fired

Gut says Im being fired for sure. Idc. Im at peace with it. Its okay

I wont be missed

Then I remember that L (another coworker who has health shit) DID try to kill herself and they STILL treat her like shit and H jokes about it

I remember last year H mentioned that E was legit worried I was gonna kms. And H laughed it off and said there was no worries You were so so wrong. You were my closest friend before that. There was SOOOO many days abd nights during that time.

If I dont get fired anyway. Who knows. Maybe it'll finally happen. Be the push I need.

Why did I think I'd wanna make a future

"We will sit down and chat next week" Im tempted to quit on the spot

Just got hommmme! Her bf joined us for the last hour (as she was finally gettin sleepy)! Gonna skip workout tonight bc its past 1230 already and I work at 8 am 😅

Girly pop kidnapped me for a sesh 😊😊 I love having a friend irl again ESPECIALLY HOW CLOSE SHE LIVES

🫠🫠 if ur asking someone for help with shit, GET OFF YOUR PHONE FFS ITS SO RUUUUUUDE Buddy literally watched me get everything ready and finished, before adding more - TWICE. Dude. Get off the phone and get your shit together, its quicker and easier for BOTH of us

I ended up telling fboy Id pass then removed him from snap, and hopefully thats the end of it

I legit dont feel safe being rude to him though

Everything about him screams danger

Fuckboy from school added me back on snap and Im actually shaking rn, he's said things before that lead me to think theres worse things he's done and Ive HEARD things

My back hurts so bad rn it feels sore to breath

Bestie took lowkey the CUNTIEST CANDID OF ME THE OTHER DAY???? I HATE ALL PICS USUALLY

Im using so many eye drops

My eyes have been KILLING me all day they're so sore 😭😭 I hate this heat I hate this sun I hate fucking chronic dry eyes and I hate that theres nothing left to try and I HATE the dr who told me Im "too young" to have issues EVEN WITH INDICATORS

We ate while out, and it was healthy and small but idk the cals and it's kinda freaking me out

Not us literally have a convo and declaring ourselves besties

ITS SO NICE OUT WTF Idk how long I'll chill at girlypop's Im vibin but also dont over stimmy her

Im not gonna set a goal for how much I wanna workout the next few days bc I know if I dont reach it, I'll spiral

Ayyyyyy girly pop is gonna swing by and snag me after she's off school, and I'ma bring the weed so we can smoke at a pretty spot and enjoy the nice day

Oh this tinder dude is SOOOOOO an incel 🤣🤣 already starting with the passive aggresive comments and "bitches" as a refference to women

Made it a half hour in workout. Barely

Scrollin spo to keep me going bc I am lagging SO BAD MY SPEED IS GONNA BE RUIIIIINED

15 mins into work out, and I am so, so tired. Its 3 am but usually if Im off and smoke the green plus caffeine Im usually wiiiide awake

130 am, may as well finish my energy drink 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm loving watching my little coworker turn into a rat person 🤣🤣 she went from freaked out by the tail, to an absolute nutcase in love with them and I LOVE IT

Girly pop wants to hang at some point during the 3 days I'm off, so literally just told her show up and kidnap me whenever, I'm down 🤣

30 minute nap my ass, I conked out for 4 hours 🤣😅

New coworker is paired w me all day, we're an hour in, and I think we've exchanged maaaaaybe a dozen words 🤣🤣 not sure if she's just really this quiet, or uncomfy, but GOD AM I LOVING THE LACK OF CHATTER TODAY H keeps hunting me down to chitter and I just.... wanna be like "I dont care"

H and I remembered exact same time as she took a sip from my drink: I am sick

I only meant to go another 20 mins bc I work early tmmr but did 45 bc distracted

Just yall WAIT. After tmmr Im off for 3 days. Goal is to excerise as much as I damn well can