Cold calling is so fun. Like heyyy what are you doing?

Fuck This Turkey Makes Me Want To Vogue, Should I ?

Someone send me a thousand dollars

Having ungodly lustful thoughts about a coworker

Smoking the weed that makes you understand music theory

Afflicted by various melancholies and malaises, perhaps from an imbalance of humors

“This game is dead” mama you’re playing on a weekday just past noon

Might I suggest you don’t fuck with my sis?

Wait so The Cranberries are really good

Jacked off and it felt like this

Going to rip every hair from my body if I don’t get a vacation soon

I’ve got to take a break from weed why was I scared Valak was going to get me last night

The reason we continue to see Democrats literally capitulating with fascists at key moments where actual continued resistance would have fractured the fascists power is because fracturing the systemic powers that support fascism would also destroy neoliberalism and its theater in place of action.

My butt is Poe Approved

It is always legal to spend 50-60$ at Barnes and Noble

In my head I do everything right….

I should move to a brand new city and teach myself how to die

Wizard101 actually being fun and kind of addictive

I got my masters there. Great school. Quality instructors, flexible coursework.

Bumper sticker that says “Honor student at the school of hard cocks”

Samoan family let me take home all the egg rolls they had left over (at least three dozen)

Taking milk chocolate Indica and dark chocolate sativa edibles together

Fuck a wedding ring get me the Delicious in Dungeon manga box set and we’re married

Why does having to pick your career path feel like you’re going to be torn limb from limb

The IBS demons followed me to work today

Can someone come over and do this to me

Probably going to be on call for 24hrs on Sundays fuck my fat faggot life

Went up in my Wellbutrin so naturally I am unbearably horny

When you’re holding a hammer everything looks like a nail

Do you guys wanna play Minecraft

Everyone say hi to Poe

I am, unfortunately, a whiny bitch baby about my fresh piercings

Happening again 🫤

Love to queen out with another Gemini

Beat Vow of Rivals Chronos for the first time finally 🥳🥳🥳

I’ve been stabbed (earce pierce)

I do think it’s a pretty name… Camry…

This is the one and only.. glintstone.. labewbew

Now if I say general strike I’m the bad guy

No shade but I better hear about some property damage today

Naming my daughter Toyota Camry

The Snuggie provides not only warmth and comfort, but also an immense psychic barrier

Hiding from emails today

Who up sliming they rancher

The UN says Israel is committing war crimes in Gaza, having killed 15 Palestinian civilians since October 10, despite a ceasefire coming into effect. aje.io/ttcve3

I have the Mandate of Heaven. I am divinely ordained

Got yelled at by my boss because he misunderstood something I said so naturally it means I have to die

Happy Indigenous People’s Day, and forever and always FUCK Columbus

I took the edible that makes you feel like a girl

Edible hit ✅ Q-tip in ear✅ ❤️❤️❤️❤️