It truly is like bring your kids to work day and they're letting him push buttons and then they pat him on the head and give him Diet Coke

It would be so so so so so awesome to be a fly on the wall watching Stefanik brush her teeth tonight looking at the loser in the mirror who sold her soul for less than nothing

trump doesn't have the power to make this name change - the name change would have to go through congress - but all the republican donkeys in congress aren't saying a single thing in opposition

There should be a pool of $ people can donate to that would be awarded to the first journalist who had the balls to make a very sudden and loud noise to make trump snap up and awake, it would be hilarious

just imagine all the good-brained, highly competent career employees at the Pentagon having to endure the breathtaking incompetence of these absolute donkeys and somehow keep the place together

we all knew trump would make himself a victim too there is no way to measure just how disgraceful a human being he is

After any mass shooting, all trump can muster is 1 a disgraceful call for vengeance and 2 a pretzeling of the situation into making himself and Republicans blameless

Since they're chickenshittedly not releasing the October inflation report, that tells you all you need to know about inflation NOT being on the right track, at all.

Christmas is coming. I've done some things. You've done some things. Uncle Larry has done some things. We've all done some things. Get yours here at Amazon: a.co/d/2B8gXff #christmas #christmasshirt #christmasgift #xmas #naughty #santa #santaclaus #christmastshirt

Dems continue to fail to make an ad about trumps' moronic pricing math YOU CANNOT DISCOUNT A PRICE BY MORE THAN 100% MAKE AN AD, SOMEBODY, ANYBODY

What a stupid, weak question Should have asked: The president called Gov Walz "retarded." When is the president going to apologize to all developmentally challenged Americans and their families for using that term? Will you call on him to do so right now?

Ukraine gives up land: no deal Ukraine banned from joining NATO: no deal Ukraine's military size limited in any way: no deal Russia doesn't pay reparations for invading Ukraine: no deal Russia doesn't return all the children it kidnapped: no deal

Narrator: Habba's parents sought "safe harbor" in America from Iraq

If you really want a pardon, all you have to do is spend whatever it takes to get 5 minutes with trump at mar a lago and then praise the shit out of him and explain (or lie, he'll never check) you were "treated unfairly" by activist democrat/biden judges Poof! Pardon comin' right up

Must be getting some post-stroke treatment or some other invasive medial treatment and can't be seen in pubic for a day or two or 3 because of swelling or drooling or whatever, they'll say he has the flu or something, then he'll emerge for 4 days of golf

did you have to watch 37,000 hours of puppy videos to do a palate cleanse after talking to those social media infected/polluted bozos

You're in the hospital recovering? You can't vote You're in the military on a mission? You can't vote You're performing a 10 hour surgery to save a child? You can't vote You work 3 jobs and can't get the time off? You can't vote Just shut up forever with this one day vote stupidity

on what planet would anybody with a functioning brain say there was progress? Ukraine giving up land, Ukraine military size throttled? Yeah, sounds like progress if you're rooting for russia otherwise, it's just absolute nonsense

so predictable and pathetic that tump and maga bozos are saying this a "trump is gonna so put this Mamdani guy in his place if he tries to showboat" meeting instead of a "cool let's work together to make NYC great" meeting

Coming together where? When? Exactly who is working on it? What are their names? Who's in charge of working on it? When is it coming? Republicans have been saying the same nothings for 10 years

Perfect example of what social media algorithms do to vulnerable people looking to 1-fit in or 2-become famous / be part of the news or 3-have some kind of impact -here, politically, I guess (or some combo of all 3) Echo chamber/misinformation can really rot brains and make people do insane things

wait I thought the government using revenue it took in from taxpayers to give out to other taxpayers as a (checks notes) handout was income redistribution and therefore socialism, so how come all republicans and deep end magas aren't freaking out and speaking out against this idea

this is the kind of brainstorm bullshit people bring up at the very very first meeting about a new project. Just ideas spit into the air without anything behind them he needed to be asked "exactly who is working on a new healthcare alternative? Who is leading the project?"

"negotiate a healthcare" with who? to do what? the same system, only different? trump has no ideas, no plan, no nothing and never has journalists continue to fail to ask EXACTLY WHO IS WORKING ON A NEW HEALTHCARE PLAN Daily Show should ask each and every congress member if they're working on it

somebody has to come up with a new term for this never ending hilarious legal incompetence lawyers eating their own faces? self-punching litigation? lawyerrhea? I dunno, something

So not only are they smuggling the family cow over the border, they’re somehow walking this cow a thousand miles to some rancher’s ranch in Montana and getting their family cow to infect the rancher’s cows. Just the stupidest people alive

Billionaires are a policy failure Bring back the 90% marginal tax rate above 400K Bring in a wealth tax

I would love to be a fly on the wall for all the "is it time to jump off the trump train" conversations between republican congress people and their spouses "but the trump train is so so so good!" "but do I have any morals?" "but all these insider stock tips!" "but do I even care about Epstein"

The amount of energy people have to spend to read and decipher these long flailing trump rants could provide free electricity to the entire west coast of America for 17 years

journalists will absolutely fail to ask "why aren't you investigating trump, his name appears more than anybody's in the latest pile of documents"

hilarious to imagine him running this post by some peons and they're desperately trying to get him to change it to be less incriminating but he just steamrolls them and says this is perfect and they eventually say yes sir, it's great, go for it, that will show them

This could be Republicans' only/best chance to make a clean break and punt trump Very easy to defend voting yes and let the chips fall where they may, and say "well, if he's involved pr he participated, then he has to face justice and/or voter judgment, Americans have the right to know etc"

dems should be standing right beside her with the papers to sign so the nanosecond after she's sworn in, she signs them, and then they hand them to Johnson's flop sweaty face

they must've been so confused that day, being handed big binders full of of blank pages sharing side glances with each other "wtf? these binders are blank!" and then getting snapped out of it when they were given a free presidential pen and a pat on the head which made them feel so insider cool

and journalists continue to fail to ask these people about that day and what they saw

His fart catchers would never ever organize a trump visit to a grocery store because he would be absolutely lost, unaware how to push a grocery cart, or find anything, or know how much things cost, and his interactions would be cringey and stupid... ...but it would be hilarious, so I have hope

Michael Wolff: I want to sell books, so I'm not sharing these with anybody, even though trump is running for president. I am entirely unconcerned that all this information I have could lead to trump's arrest. I am a self-serving scumbag, and I am greatly to blame for his re-election in 2024

Insane $2000 socialism rebate checks, then more insane $1000 socialism stock market fund for new babies in just the past 2 days I predict: Free new fridge or $2000 energy rebate 0r $2000 grocery rebate

Gonna give you $2000 of the tariff money! Gonna give your new baby $1000 of stocks! what is this "the government is gonna give you money like a drunken socialist" fire hosing by republican scum???? But there is no money for ACA subsidies or SNAP They must think the maga base is so so so stupid

Trump already got to the Republicans who said they would vote yes Mace has already jumped ship like the scum she is So Johnson will allow the vote, and in that moment we'll see those republicans vote no, and it will fail GOP will say "Americans are struggling, and dems are obsessed with Epstein"

just the absolute scum of the earth, not a fucking drop of humanity in that bloated sack of shit body

journalists continue to fail to ask WHO IS WORKING ON IT WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES WHERE ARE THEY WORKING ON IT WHAT IS THE DATE WHEN THE NEW HEALTHCARE PLAN COMING

people on the trump train because they're slimy VS people on the trump train because they're party over country VS people on the trump train getting their faces eaten by leopards VS racists on the trump train hoping for civil war thass one crowded f'd up fight going on on that train

Several Dems form new Punch Self in the Face Party and punch selves in the face super hard on national TV, Leopard Face Eating Party applauds

How would giving people money to spend on premiums change the cost of the premiums? Does trump think there are magical cheaper premiums out there that nobody knows about?

the idiot dems who voted with the idiot republicans should be punted from any committees they're on and the idiot schumer should be punted to the moon

my f*cking god this cast of traitor idiots swooping in with their moronic idea thinking this will solve anything people worked so f*cking hard to get the enormous victories of last week, and these dipshits just flushed it all kick them off all committees, get new blood in that won't crap the bed

The disgraceful state of America continues to worsen.

GOP promises = meaningless 1 Any deal with republicans must be in writing, signed on camera 2 A second document is also signed on camera: it states if they don't do the promised X by date Y then this document is irrevocable notice that they resign their seats on date Y.

Where is this 700 billion to pay $2000 to everybody coming from As of August they've only collected $165 billion in tariffs FROM AMERICANS Trump claims there's 18 trillion in investment pouring in - who? where? Does he think he can tap this to pay the $2000? What? How? it's all so fucking stupid