Did anybody on this site get any cooler?

Being bald fat and gay is a triple threat

Whenever someone complains to you about anything just dismiss them by saying “that won’t matter when we’re all dead”

I love how I am in the arts world but I also am not a “free spirit” at all I am so special

I just had a memory of when I was like 11 and I lived in a rather large complex of condos and some neighborhood boys from my bus stop came to my door and asked if I wanted to play basketball and I just straight up said no and I didn’t want to.

My boyfriends height cannot be measured in numbers it makes the calculators crash

what would my mom think if she saw me smoking cigarettes? I don’t smoke but still what would she think?

This app was soo good at helping me detox from Twitter. Everything on this app is soooo lame and edgless that I just roll my eyes and close it everytime I open it. A great alternative to the fascist shit on Twitter…. Bluesky is truly the Methadone of the App Store

just woke up, had a dream I was eating a Kit Kat bar shaped like the windows 98 logo and it was so good

I dreamed all of you into existence so say thanks tyler

Clowns have no gender ❤️🩵

Only real ones know this

Having a car is evil, it’s an act of hubris like what do you mean you drive around your own living room and it pollutes the environment

Comedians only do crowd work when they are illiterate

I really wanna wear those big sunglasses that make you look like a huge loser

When honking your cars horn, select which car you’d like to honk at with your cursor

When I was a kid I used to go to the store with my moms friend and her kid that was my age. She used to buy toys for her kid in front of me and at that time I found that really offensive

The Britney Spears subreddit is literally insane, if you critique her even a little bit they literally destroy you

the subway sounds the same in every language

I need a boyfriend who understands not to buy me plush toys. I don’t want that

I actually love to cuss

alita battle angel (2019) turned me gay

I think we’re kinda cooked if “South Asians and Latinos who are also white supremacists” is an identifiable demographic on Twitter now

I Stun In New Selfie

My main goal is to blow up and then act like I don’t know nobody

why does it feel like the anti musk people still on twitter are planning political revolution and the ideologically same people on bluesky feel like they are coping by watching cute animal vids?

I bet getting divorced from someone you hate feels soooooo good I really wanna try

Whenever I see a post on Reddit saying a movie show or game has been delayed I always comment “so many fans will have died in that time, died waiting”

When people ask me how I’m doing during this tumultuous political period I’m like “music has been helping me a lot” and then the music is like:

I’m having a Mandela effect that PSY, of Gangnam style fame, had a coke fueled heart attack and died in the early 2020s. But I guess that’s not true

Should I rank Gay pop stars

Bobs burgers might be my least favorite show. There’s something just wrong about that particular sense of humor to me

Ordering at McDonald’s someone behind me crashed into an inanimate object stay tuned for updates

The World Would Suck Without Girls

I need the kind of relationship where 4 years in we realized we have never discussed religion before ever

Instagram explore page is schizophrenic, why am I see barely clothed men immediately before seeing a middle aged woman seeing Jesus’s face inside a candy bar

I don’t like hiking, I like biannual nature walks

Why did we stop making webisodes

Professional figure skaters live by the adage that if you make too many cuts in the ice you’ll fall through

I have smokers toe

Canva truly feels like it was made for a 1 year old to use….

princess Diana just walked into my job I just checked her out on register 3

I feel so alone on social media. I just wanna tweet total non-sequiturs, literally phrases that make no sense from the stream of consciousness of my mind but no one else does that so it makes me look like a FREAK

I only tweet from the McDonald’s drive through cuz that’s where my most profound thoughts occur that’s really where I bear witness to the world

how do I fix my algorithm here, every joke I’m seeing is extraordinarily lame