im not sure what a performative male is but i sure hope he can perform real good. i need to be entertained, for i am a queen of my little throne

if i drink out of a cup stacker's stacking cups will they banish me to the shadow realm or will they just not really care that much

so what do hollow knight fans even do now

i wonder how the people living in candyland are doing right now. do you think every time they walk it melts the chocolate sidewalk a bit more, or that the royal castle is just really really sticky at this point has cannibalism happened? cannibalism must have happened.

toothbrush

just called off work to play with my super soakers

the persona devs are cowards make every tarot card a social link damn it

just remembered when i was 16 i played darts for the first and only time and that was when i threw one dart, hit the bullseye, and vowed never to play it again so i keep my 100% bullseye rate and therefore by technicality makes me the greatest darts player in the world

every time i open premiere pro i either stare at the timeline for 10 minutes and close it or lock the fuck in and finish an entire project in like 2 hours with no in between how the hell does the science behind this work adobe has to have their products laced with something

just want to let everyone know that i still ragebait her with this every now and again. caesar salad is nachos btw

if life was a merging game i wouldn't combine anything world destroying or reality bending or anything like that, i would instead continue to combine trees until it was big enough to be the centerpiece of a giant fantasy world and see how long it would take for someone to be specifically a jester

i was in a splatoon team located in zimbabwe

i like to imagine there's a council up in the clouds that control weather and the guy that controls lightning storms just busts in every so often and starts a raging party but he still keeps his job because he's a pretty fun guy when he is here but he definitely has a bitcoin miner at home for money

i hope in a future nintendo side scroller there's a factory based level with conveyor belts and gears and the like, but theres a miniscule chance for it to completely lose power and none of the moving parts work anymore

popping the tires of every truck driver that won't honk the horn when i do that little arm motion thing with my expertly crafted rock throwing technique

a game of minesweeper, but it's on a microsoft excel sheet and there's only one mine and you have to click every little box and if you click the mine it bricks your microsoft account

going to my high school's gym with red paint and painting the entire court so the lines are all ruined and the basketball team has a harder time playing the sport

a spellbook but all the spells are just to make people allergic to things

I! BUKI! MIO! DA! PUT IT TOGETHER AND WHADDA YA GET? IBUKI MIODA!!! im pretty sure everyone else in our circle with a bluesky has already been tagged so gg

i watched the pilot to henry danger yesterday and was so absolutely appalled and distraught that i think a second episode could cause me to have my jaw oiled like a rusty hinge so my mouth could close again

yo soy - iceninja

i would be really good at jet lag the game but not for any real purpose at all because ill be too busy staring in awe at the sights and the views that i would forget i have to catch another flight in 4 minutes time

im 19 today! how nice.

i think bluesky is currently on the third downtime stage of nobody using it that much until it goes viral on twitter again

2025? 2025 PUPPIES!!!! RIGHT AT YOUR DOORSTEP!!!

running to the xmas tree yelling "GOLD AND SILVER, SILVER AND GOLD!! YAHOOOO!!" and throwing a pickaxe straight up in the air and it comes down and impales me directly between the eyes

BREAKING: trans girl makes post about being trans, gets a billion likes. trans girl makes post about this in experimentation hoping she, in turn, will also get a billion likes

buying all-purpose flour, but using it for only one purpose and that is coating the basement in it so the rats cant get away this time. i see their footprints. it's only a matter of time. YOU CAN'T HIDE ANY LONGER

making one of those tall sandwiches shaggy always makes in scooby doo, then taking out a knife and fork because my jaw can NOT unhinge that far

one piece is the slowest show of all time because what do you mean the main character spent like 20 episodes trying to do one specific move in the already longest arc of the series where he properly did it at first by using an open palm and then never opened his palm ever again (im past this arc)

fun fact: my banner is off-center ever so slightly. now you can't unsee it. you probably just checked too

im in this

teaser trailers exist so you don't watch them. their entire purpose is to tell you that it exists now with no added punch to the video. you get the same amount of satisfaction from seeing the video then watching it. that being said please stop making teasers for media that takes 93 years to release

havent made a skweet in a while. sorry, the greek gods put me on a great hercules task where i had to try to die in ai minecraft and every time i couldn't do it in the time provided i was sentenced to 3 days in a library with creaky floorboards trying to hide from a slasher film serial killer.

dude what the hell

having a drummer girlfriend is great because you get free concerts and you also get to see her skills and shes really awesome but MOST IMPORANTLY she plays the game theory song and thats better then anything

praying for my friends and pals in america that they wont instantly die of sadness upon the election results

i like these they're so silly and swag (M. Bubbles - Job Job, Dorothea Arnault - Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Toph Beifong - Avatar: The Last Airbender) im not tagging im lazy if you see this do it

when i am a grown adult in an apartment of my own i'm going to send back every bill i have to pay they send me with exact replicas of medusa's head so i don't get them anymore

setting up a free sample booth at a supermarket but every time you attempt to take a second one i pull out a vacuum and suck up increasingly larger amounts of money

i steal skweet ideas from zigs! lol!

every horror movie would be a million times better if it was filmed in a found footage format. it would still be scary, but it seems a lot more real that way. i hope. i might not be cooking with this.

its me. zoey. with a why. i dont have a funny bit or joke im sorry

im dressing up as a witch for halloween, and making it so my witch hat never falls off. to do this i superglue a giant traffic cone to my noggin. that hat ain't flying away ever.

new method of transportation discovered: sweeping your living room and when you try to put it in the dustpan theres that one line of dirt that never gets on the dustpan and you have to keep treading backwards and suddenly you crossed the border and got your mugshot taken for your heinous crimes

im going to make a brand new vegetable that automatically tastes like ranch dressing every bite. kids will eat it more, and the muscular status of the common man will skyrocket.

art train by my pal artboi, but i cant draw. take some ascii art instead. /\_/\ ( o.o ) > ^ < anyways i nominate @pandorathen.bsky.social and uhhhhh idk do it again @hockster.bsky.social

Got tagged by my friend Beefy to participate in an Art Train So here's some icons I made of characters from his DND series I participate in called Fireballers! (Me, Beefy, Zoey and Donald) I shall tag @paperbin.bsky.social @colmas831.bsky.social @artboiscool.bsky.social

im conjuring this big plan to prank everyone and anyone using things that are slightly above a minor inconvenience, but not so much so that it ruins their life. i replaced this one guy's lettuce with cabbage. nobody likes cabbage. live with what i have done, your sandwich is ruined.

"watch this!" i say as i pop multiple sticks of bubble gum in my mouth, chew it up, take it out, and make balloon animals with them, attempting to distract the bank robbers with a gun pointed at my head