The look she gives me when I start telling her parents about the visual novels I've been playing recently.

He who posts last posts loudest

Me: Alexa play Sail Away by Enya. Alexa: Okay, playing Orinoco Flow by Enya. Me: What, you think you're better than me, huh? Is that it? What the hell did I do to deserve this. You've taken my good will, chewed it up and spat it out. You're dead to me. I'm going to vomit. Why don't you just commit s

Found this license plate this morning. Does anyone else see it or do I just have terminal brain rot?

It happened again!!! I thought I was safe since it was springtime, not so. I love tomatoes so it's painful to take a break from them.

Why would anyone go to a house party with their friends when they could play a poorly translated erotic visual novel alone in their room instead?

Inspired by Michael (2026) I have decided to make a documentary about Ted Kaczynski solely focusing on his life as a mathematical prodigy and ending right before he moves out to the woods.

Where were you when you found out George Clooney was learning Coptic?

Nooooo babe I love your pussy the tight ones are scary

Ladies, you have got👏to👏get👏worse👏! Right now your crush is craving the worst girlfailure you've ever seen. They need to fix her or join her. Be cringe, be free, get worse!!!

That's a nice friendship. Unfortunately for you, I've decided it's actually a gay relationship.

The year is 2029. Three men are in a gulag and begin discussing why they were put in there. The first man says "I wrote an article against Will Stancil." The second man says "What?! I was sent here for writing an article supporting Will Stancil!" The third man says "I'm Will Stancil."

GF: Hey babe, how was work? BF: Good, I- GF: What did you mean when you posted "Loose pussy feels like home ❤️"? BF: ......You follow my private account?

Tapping the sign

Why would you need coffee to wake up when you can just accidentally type your password into a plaintext field?

I do not fear the person who gives the Rance game a 5/5 rating. I fear the person who gives the Rance game a 4/5 rating.

Going to an inadvisable dating event. Was supposed to be a few people tired of dating apps, now 750 horny single people are going to try and find their soulmates in a single park. Excited to see the chaos it will bring!

Genie: What is your first wish? Me: Tsukihime PC port Genie: You know it's gonna get ported anyway, right? And don't you own a Switch? Me: It's not the same

Oh you can bench 185? That's cute. She let me hit cuz I stutter when talking to her.

Posting is therapy, in the sense that sometimes I would rather be doing anything else.

Bro is mad because my meal was poisoned at the restaurant and his wasn't 💀💀💀 It's not my fault your critique of the administration was rudimentary and derivative

There are two types of Disco Elysium players. Type 1: "Why is there all this homoeroticism in my communist propaganda?" Type 2: "Why is there all this ideology in my old man yaoi?"

She let me hit cuz I only have 3 days left to live

Papists. Papists. All of you are papists. None of you are free from Rome.

Oh ye gods, my mental health is ruined! But what if...I purchased medication and disguised it as my own serotonin?

Broke: Malicious non-compliance Woke:

In another life I would have really liked doing intravenous drugs and having unprotected sex with you

Remember kids: if you pretend to have a foot fetish, people won't notice the depraved fetishes that you actually have.

My 73yo father has started playing MuvLuv. I've never played or recommended the game to him either. Soon he'll know more about visual novels than I do.

Calling out of work horny like one would call out of work with diarrhea. Seriously boss you don't want me in there, even if I came in I'd have to run to the bathroom every five minutes.

(seeing celebrities who have access to far greater medical care than I do dying well before retirement age) that's fine. I'll probably be different

Could estrogen have saved her?

Say what you will about the last snowstorm, I could at least look out the window to see how bad it was outside last time.

What if...we did what needed to be done and forever etched our names into the annals of history...haha just kidding...unless...?

"Fell for it again award" but for the false Spring that everyone was sure had fallen upon us early.

Jim Davis, for no reason in 1979: You know what this comic needs? A femboy twink cat who Garfield bullies.

My brain: Me after I hit the pen and go non-verbal Me: Stop saying that. Brain: Me after I hit the pen and go non-verbal Me: I don't even smoke weed. Brain: Me after I hit the pen and go non-verbal Me: Me after I hit the pen and go non-verbal Brain: Me after I hit the pen and go non-verbal

Found out on Wikipedia the other day that Salvador Dalí was actually a massive fascist. Not very pleased to learn that!

Horny (willing) is such a different feeling than horny (unwilling)

I just finished the first 100 days of The Hundred Line: Last Defense Academy. Looking forward to grinding out some endings! I think I should be able to get it done, I saw every piece of dialogue in Fate/Stay Night which took me like 120 hours.

Why is it always "I'm sure you'll find a girlfriend soon" but never "the local farmer has promised his daughter's hand in marriage to whoever can bring him the fattest pig"

Me in high school: Yeah I'm a pacifist I just believe in non-violence you know? Me after a decade of living under overt fascism: Here is a list of public figures I composed ordered by how painful their death should be

When I grow up, I want to become the dog who is so angry he cannot move. He cannot eat. He cannot sleep. He can just barely growl. Bound so tightly with tension and anger, he approaches the state of rigor mortis.

Coworker: Hey, you takin' it easy? Me: No, I'm taking it hard. I didn't mean to say that

The year is 2029. Three men are in a gulag and begin discussing why they were put in there. The first man says "I wrote an article against Will Stancil." The second man says "What?! I was sent here for writing an article supporting Will Stancil!" The third man says "I'm Will Stancil."

Cis male who constantly posts about his ovulation cycle

My mom forgot the term for "de-aging" while watching ads last night and said "Wow they're youthenizing everyone" which I think is a much better phrase for it.

Stayed up late on Saturday for a wedding and stayed up late on Sunday to watch the Patriots lay an egg. I should catch up on my sleep by mid-to-late April.

Punch punch punch punch punch punch (I am punching my own head which has appeared before me)