tp: of course her name is hope

tp: so much slo mo

tp: “you’re famous. yeah, i guess i am” what are we doing here

tp: is there a less parental figure than costner

tp: yall what the fuck is this timeline

tp: WAIT is there a real postal service

tp: throwing this back on, but who am i kidding it’s all gonna be background

tp: i’m halfway through, but i’ve gotta get on with the rest of my day, i’ll pick it up tomorrow (probably)

tp: one of these guys looks a little like my uncle who is a postman

tp: “new capital is based in minneapolis” okayyyy midwest

tp: another costner movie where women don’t have rights, what a surprise

tp: oh no they’re burning the american flag oh no

tp: pour one out for the guy that had to score this long ass film

to: i cannot believe they’re singing america the beautiful to him

tp: of course he snores

tp: this girl is so gorgeous and can do so much better than costner

tp: an hour in and i want to be done

tp: “do you have good semen…i’m only asking because i want you to get me pregnant” i fully had to put my phone down and take a lap

tp: the tone of this film is all over the place. first they’re berating costner’s character about his knowledge of the government, next they’re line dancing to a song that sounds like it’s straight from the lorax

tp: yep there’s the lion 😑

tp: i fear i’m supposed to care about this character death, but i simply don’t care about any of these characters

tp: devastating that i can’t 1.25x this film

tp: it’s exhausting how they’re just telling us everything instead of showing it

tp: ANOTHER FULL THROATED SLUR??????

tp: none of these scenes need to be this long

tp: are we at the hoover dam

tp: i’m like irrationally angry that art i enjoy is placed within this film

tp: omfg can we pick something a little less basic than the hamlet monologue

tp: no way bill the mule makes it through the film

tp: “and are of suitable ethnic foundation.” ummmmmm

tp: this is just a regular gripe, i had to download the app fawesome and there’s ads??? dany haas your next pick better be spectacular

tp: “i’m clapping because you stink” REAL

tp: station eleven does the traveling theatre troupe in a time of crisis much better

tp: if this wasn’t costner (ie/ a better actor) i could see this scene being charming

tp: is costner gonna ruin shakespeare for me

tp: god how long did this pointless set dec take

tp: “things i like about my ass” 🙄

tp: my anticipatory dread makes me want to vom

tp: is that a fucking lion?

tp: a 3 year winter sounds pretty good in comparison to the scorching heat climate change is bringing us

just started the 70mm watch pick for the week: the postman, dir. and starring costner, i’m in for a rough one

tladocb: “i have a niece who has a governess who has a sister” okay, im following

tladocb: just boys being boys singing in the communal baths

tladocb: “40 years from now…” oh i think i know where this is going

tladocb: these men are PINK

tladocb: i’m in love with spud and his tactics (surely this can only age poorly)

tladocb: take this score and inject it into my veins plz!

tladocb: i want to make that opening tapestry

today’s watch: the life and death of colonel blimp