Oh god Miranda you haven’t been in the Archers long have you? When Brian says “Cross my heart..” it means “Stuff you, I’ll do it my way.” We in the Twittersphere would have spotted that in the blink of an eye. #TheArchers

“…bigger return on the Montes…” meanwhile in other news there was a small earthquake in Chile, not many dead. #TheArchers

Tony trying to bank tradition. #TheArchers

This Brian / George tooing and froing is getting interesting. Brian doesn’t realise George has a recording of one of their meetings where Brian incriminated himself. #TheArchers

Alan leave her alone you’re banging your head against the proverbial. When she trips over the mess on her floor and no one comes to her aid, she will recognise the error of her ways. #TheArchers

That’s it Justin - let the oiks know who’s boss. Unfortunately it’s an oik who is not servile and gives as good as she gets. So yah boo sucks Justin. #TheArchers

“…haven’t been here in years…” all of have never been “here” in a farm conjured up for the sake of a weak storyline. #TheArchers

Brian really hasn’t changed at all he’s still a nasty piece of work . #TheArchers

Oooh I bet Rauari is dreading some profound insight is going to happen emerge from George’s counselling which enables George to point the finger. #TheArchers

65% of injuries in the over 60s requiring hospital treatment are from falls in the home of less than one metre. Thus Carol is likely to end up in a serious way. #TheArchers

George is giving Ruari a hard time and he’s not even aware of it . Classic!!! #TheArchers

Neil will be first against the wall when Ruari assumes control of the farm. Fancy addressing the Young Master in those tones. Still Ruarui might be residing at his majesty’s pleasure. #TheArchers

Well, turned out nice again. #TheArchers

Cricket is the life blood of most villages, pubs and communities in this land, being played religiously and with a great fondness for it. How does Ambridge and its various inhabitants manage to get it so wrong and make a mess of it on so many occasions? #TheArchers

“…Im not reading click bait…” it’s my job to generate the click bait. #TheArchers

This Scottish excursion exists solely in Braan’s head - apart from his normal passive aggressive mien what’s he up to??? #TheArchers

“…Brian Aldridge is indestructible…” ho ho ho , watch this space. #TheArchers

General Practice is not the place for mental health- except as a filter to signpost patients to specialists. #TheArchers

What’s Blue Lights? #TheArchers

“…the book launch was cancelled…” they heard Kate was coming so decided to change the venue. #TheArchers

Further, Amber being pregnant should not be drinking alcohol. Foetal alcohol syndrome is very real and comes with the drinking of alcohol in pregnancy and leads to mental problems later. If this is a tradition, then it could explain a lot. #TheArchers

Isn’t the “other taste” in the cider due to the addition of animal matter ie a dead rat? #TheArchers

Will has never been the sharpest knife in the box, and talking with Eddy, well the blind leading the blind. #TheArchers

Could this be a corner turning moment for George and Amber? They genuinely sound elated that it’s a live foetus. #TheArchers

It would have to be Tony underperforming with his play herd of cows. The knackers yard beckons. #TheArchers

Ooooh I forgot the twins in crime. This one will run and run. #TheArchers

I’m going to be sick - very sick. #TheArchers

Ruarychhg is pining for the gigolo life in the bright lights. Doesn’t anyone realise what a fraud he is. #TheArchers

“…dynamic…” we’re not talking about the same Helen are we? #TheArchers

Are Brian and Miranda going back to Home Farm then? It seems that Brian’s sojourn away has not served any useful plot device. #TheArchers

“…not every day you’re 75….” Indeed, I didn’t realise Eddy was of the same vintage as me. I thought he was much younger. (75 last October) #TheArchers

For gods sake Adam youre worse than Lynda Snell - at least she didn’t call at all hours of day and night. The end result is the same though - having your arm twisted thoroughly. #TheArchers

Helen AND Josh away to pastures new??? Only need to get Pip to go and it’s win win win! #TheArchers

Chelsea playing straight from the Grundy playbook- pester,pester pester until you get what you want. #TheArchers

Aaah THAT Finlay looks like a weekend of chillie then. #TheArchers

Oh god the blind leading the blind . #TheArchers

Oh dear Krustie is being the middle class bumbler not used to manual work. #TheArchers

I’m going to be sick!! #TheArchers

Come on Lynda do us all a favour and sort this east end barrow out. #TheArchers

“…best for everyone…” usually equates to “best for me” #TheArchers

I thought that the days of “East Enders” was behind us. #TheArchers

Get in there Josh - after all the other failed schemes you are right to be bothered about this sapphic phase of Pip. On past performance it can’t have much longer to run . #TheArchers

Ooooh Josh showing his caring farming side - pre nups indeed. #TheArchers

There’s a parallel in the story of Prince Andrew and Ruary No one is above the law . #TheArchers

Essex boy Zach is dangling the money in front of Josh’s eyes. Josh is putty in his hands, watch him blow the farm on a get rich quick scheme as recommended by Zach. #TheArchers

Seems Brian has a very different outcome for Ruarys future than he did. Still as I pointed out earlier, it’s all going to be academic when PC Plod catches up with him. #TheArchers

Neil really is dim, can’t he see that Ruary thinks he is officer material and his time with the hoi polloi is limited. Mr Plod however will have other ideas. The end is the same though - Ruary is not for the pigs. #TheArchers

“…career in pigs…” really Neil if you think that then your dumber than you appear. #TheArchers

Hmm not the best plan going round pubs Alice. Bit early in your recovery. #TheArchers

Ever the charmer- that’s our Rauary it’s how he got “Gigolo o f the Year” award #TheArchers