Matthew Stafford is 37 years old and also 8 years old.

Jacksonville's penalties have penalties.

Waiting for the "Is Puka Nacua's success holding everyone else back?" takes.

Keep hearing the name of the Jags' safety and thinking he's the director of 'You're Next.' A real Wingard-Wingard situation.

All I want from life is a team who can confidently run the ball on 3rd & 2.

I have so much affection for 'Dog Problems' that I'm terrified to revisit that. But the existence of a new song made me squee!, and that half-minute dip into metal is adorable.

Few things make me as happy as seeing an unhappy Harbaugh.

Love how quickly the commentary goes from "The Rams have so many weapons" to "Without this one guy, they're doomed."

Puka Nacua back on the sideline after having the adamantium reapplied.

Unsure I have it in me to deal with this much dumb game.

Oh no, we drew the Brady booth.

Me to every losing NFL team today: Awwww you guys! Trying to make me feel better! You're so sweet.

The Rams don't have many go-to plays for Tutu Atwell, but they have a lot of go-over plays for Tutu Atwell.

Victoria Poleva, "Blessed are all" (fragment) from Psalm 2 (per translation. The Kyiv choir, conductor M. Gobdych. www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzOK...

Internet, please don't force me to learn the politics of Kellie Pickler.

Well now theres too much time on the clock.

Don't know how to fix it, but still a weird rule.

"This offense is so impressive when it's working."

Maybe don't have the guy with the bad back carry the ball into a pile.

Do yourself a favor and get to 'Girl with a Suitcase.'

The closer we get to the end of all things, the more I've learned to appreciate unscripted comedy. www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKBc...

The only entity I'm going to keep rooting for is Paolo Pasco, he said, while several 'Jeopardy' episodes behind.

Never want to football again.

Brutal.

We are running the ball, and we are running the ball.

The next three hours are going to be a long day.

'Dead Men Have No Amendments' (Sergio Corbucci, 1968)

Watching a (1980s?) promotional video for Teen Missions International, in awe at their messaging prowess.

Shrewd to start by targeting middling talents for whom passionate defense is difficult.

Today was the day Sean McVay finally became a Ram.

All-timers all over the place -- 'President's Men' is one of those movies I could watch on repeat -- but a quick shout for 'The Great Waldo Pepper,' which I like better than 'Sundance' or 'The Sting' and is on Netflix through 9/30. The do's and don'ts of daring, a wondering at ideas of manhood.

Nate Landman, the best Landman on Paramount Plus.

If only our team woke up each week in time for the game.

So many superstitious and karmic considerations heading into Week 2 after a Week 1 win. Will the same lucky ensemble work for a road game? How will the universe measure the weeding I did Thursday against the cabinets I fixed last Friday? What magicks might get McVay to stick with the run game?

Only revelation from this game is that Jon Hamm is now doing ads for sports betting apps, which means I can finally stop rooting for his career.

Rule change committee: When you hit the upright, four points.

Everyone in 'Task' seems to know they're in a terrible show and that there's nothing they can do about it.

Harlan could not get "Espionage is their love language!" out cleanly. Acid reflux, perhaps.

Announcers cannot say "Rancho Cucamonga" enough.

Announcer Kevin Harlan just dropped this to describe Davante Adams' posture during a hit. And dear user...

SoFi has all the noise and some of the energy of a library.

Goodness. They remade it as a Suicide track. localh.bandcamp.com/track/user

Been listening to Jim Croce a lot lately, find myself wanting a tattoo that just says, "Hey."

Who among us doesn't miss 2008?

Thrilled that when the New York Times runs some lines of mine I'm credited as nothing but "Pessimist." www.nytimes.com/athletic/655...

Congratulations to your new SNL featured player. www.tiktok.com/@makesomenoi...

The Geraldine Fibbers, "California Tuffy" (Bozulich) Hall & Oates, "She's Gone" (John Oates' sister) Carly Rae Jepsen, "Call Me Maybe (Chatroulette Version)"(Kardynal) Lucas, "Lucas With The Lid Off" (Gondry)

"An innovator who hasn’t changed his haircut since 2003." defector.com/why-your-tea...

Had to work up some guff to ask my dad to borrow the car, wonder what it takes to ask your dad to help score an Oscar™ nomination for your first feature film.