My coworker put a placeholder on my calendar for the pop tart bowl because we have our priorities in order 🤪

You’re a girl mom and decided to marry a man after 5 months of knowing him. You are a danger to everyone around you. I don’t care how “perfect” he is, that daughter needs to be your only priority until she decides to move out.

“What the point of being black elite if we sell out?” Hey so, that’s how they get and maintain their wealth/elite status.

We give that lady a lot for someone who can’t even perform their singular album in the way it was recorded. Love her too but, bruh….

My uncle passed in ‘09, 2 days after MJ and my cousin showed up to the fune in this sparkly outfit talmbout we mourning them both 😩😭

Hey so if you agree with that J.P. Morgan lady getting fired then you shouldn’t have any complaints with the surveillance state we live in.

Walked into my mama house to fish and spaghetti

Content creators really try to co-opt anything just to be relevant. No you are not living alone if you have 2 kids even if you’re a part time parent. Find another angle please.

I know I’m not ready for parenthood because if my grown ass kid called me at 9:30pm asking about how chicken expiration I’d lose it. (May or may not have just did this to my mother).

The Europeans here for the World Cup having a mf ball. America really is the main character.

The older I get the more irritated I am when people intentionally make their lives harder for no reason. We have too much knowledge and access for the “I didn’t know” excuses.

Bringing up KAT’s mom every time he breathes isn’t triggering? Almost every comment from last night had a variation of “…and his mom’s dead”. That’s for him to bring up however much he wants.

Blessed to have a job that takes me to the places where my people are 🙏🏾

It’s absolutely going to be a Sancerre summer 🥂

#Facts #Jokesters

My coworker bought the team matching shirts for our summer Friday kickoff. Must suck to unwarrantedly hate your coworkers.

What is the point of being married if you’re not going to have health insurance? What is the point if you can’t take a $200 hit for an emergency? Explain it to me.

I don’t like seeing people intentionally hide their pregnancies from relatives and friends they claim are important in their lives. And then make content out of it. Just rubs me the wrong way.

We see white women in precarious romantic relationships every day yet you want to complain your black parents didn’t teach you how to date because you didn’t get married off before your frontal lobe developed.

Accidentally lied so bad then immediately paid for it when my knee collided with a big ass Stanley cup or oxygen tank, couldn’t tell. I should be square with the universe right?

I get artists were deceived into agreeing to perform but just a bit of discernment would have prevented the walk backs they now have to do. Anything happening in DC needs a touch more scrutiny these days.

I feel like we’re at a point in societal consciousness where “I didn’t know” isn’t cutting it anymore when it comes to major life decisions. Especially for women. If you actually talked and listened to the women around you, you would know. That exceptionalism is going to kill you.

NOBODY. And I’m not paying more to see anyone than I have paid to see her bc it would be a waste.

🌚🌚🌚call be coming from inside the house

Something that makes my ears bleed is when people say they’re childfree because their kids are grown. Aht aht no. You are still a parent unless you want me to call you a deadbeat.

I hate when white people say “iykyk”

Giants about to have the worst season thanks to y’all boy Dart.

A restaurateur was arguing with women on social media and then his establishment burned down.

Had an uber driver try to back out of a toll plaza once so I do not play about the vibes. Saw one miss a turn on the way to me and I immediately cancelled. You’re not paying attention enough for me.

Down to the bar after a day of confusing one white man for another. Really takes a toll on this corporate girlie.

People who were proud to be anti-vax and covid deniers are now saying they don’t want to be around people who can’t follow the rules when it comes to hantavirus.

Repeating “my man of 4 months is moving into my house” all throughout your video and the saxophones aren’t getting louder?

I feel like there’s a bit of cognitive dissonance going on with living in a tiny home but having a 60+ inch TV. Conservative with your living space but not your material things 🤔

I have at least 20 transactions on my credit card and the fuck ass AI assistant is telling me there are no transactions. So I guess I don’t have to pay?

I call bullshit on married women thinking they can lead any conversation of decentering men. And it’s just an example of how they wield that “wife currency” to talk over people. You have not effectively decentered a man if he’s living in your house, hard stop.

You had time to edit and music direct a TikTok of your dad’s fune but are too bereaved to tell us why your family was acting like monkeys in that church. Okay.

Prom season is here and I’ve already seen the commentary about how these kids “will never have a wedding” so they have to go over the top. Just admit you’re jealous cause your raggedy parents never gave a damn about anything you had going on.

Fairfax couldn’t get a job. The poorer people get…

The poorer people get the more these murder suicides will happen.

I hate what tech courses have done to people’s brains. You can’t get every job by taking a course. Girl talking about her analyst role not even in tech and the comments are just “what course did you take”. She literally just worked her way up and probably has a degree.

Bonus hit and I’m down to the chophouse cutting up

I will get to the bottom of it every time.

This girl on tiktok thought it was normal to speak to her mom twice a month. Meanwhile I called my mom 3 times in the last 2 hours. 1. Daily call after work 2. Crying because I presumably threw out a good onion 3. Said onion propelled itself out of the freezer and almost broke my toe

You not doing church right if the parishioners don’t tell you the building gonna fall down cause you walked in. Real sinners do real things 😉

A woman was murdered by her husband. And to think just a week ago people would’ve put that same marriage on a pedestal to browbeat single women.

I have exactly 2 crisp dollars in my wallet.

“Black people’s love language is getting on each others nerves” 🤣

Christian influencer did a quick post and delete of how she doesn’t care about what’s going on in the world because of her father in heaven. Someone must’ve told her politics was gonna do her ass alright.

Shit finally gonna start shaking.