I can feel the tree buds pulsating. The robins are chirping, "Hurry up with the leaves. We want a little privacy up here!"

audhdhumor.substack.com/p/the-night-... Here's my newest essay from "Oops! AuDHD Humor," my weekly Substack newsletter. It's sugar-free, tasty fun!

Where I live, I survived a Sunday blizzard warning. I wondered if any of you might get green snow for St. Patrick's Day?

I found Jesus at Walmart.

Just because you have written instructions, don't assume they were made for a mind like YOURS. audhdhumor.substack.com/p/really-thi...

Cue the "Born to Be Wild" music. I ended the week as a true Badass. I went OUT the IN door at Walmart!

audhdhumor.substack.com/p/audhd-me-i... Forget talking to strangers. Try improv comedy with them. See how I did in my newest Substack essay!

How do you explain to dogs and cats about how they should "spring forward" for Daylight Savings Time?

Hail possible tonight. And the apartment house parking lot has no garages or roofs. Therefore, my car might look like a golf ball with wheels in the morning, if the hailstorm goes wild. I asked ChatGPT what my car might look like after a pounding.

Three true stories about about a neurodivergent kitchen klutz. audhdhumor.substack.com/p/audhd-me-c...

Three true stories about about a neurodivergent kitchen klutz. audhdhumor.substack.com/p/audhd-me-c...

I don't understand TV weathermen. Just looked out the window. "Snow showers." If snow gets wet, won't he melt? And isn't all snow WET to begin with? (This is what ChatGPT and I thought of upon hearing the term.)

RIP, Wayne Granger

"I used to get a haircut every Saturday so I would never miss any of the comic books. " I had practically no hair when I was a kid!" -- R. L. Stine, "Goosebumps" author

TGIF Thank Goodness I'm FREE!

Please, check out my newest Substack essay. If anyone could know I was up to something, it would be HER. Enjoy a calorie-free tale that happened to ME! audhdhumor.substack.com/p/did-a-calo...

Slobber. Drool! New flavor alert!!! Don't you wish Bluesky included scratch-n-sniff images?

audhdhumor.substack.com/p/audhd-me-i... Forget talking to strangers. Try improv comedy with them. See how I did in my newest Substack essay!

Please do, G.A. No one draws it like YOU!

Obra (de arte) Wow, Scott. This is a work of art. Definitivamente

Be your own Valentine tomorrow. How? Half-price chocolate and flowers!

Want to know what it feels like to be a ghost? Just walk the aisles of any store during The Big Game.

So much money spent on Super Bowl commercials. I don't remember a single commercial from last year's game. Do you?

I opened the window after lunch. Sunny, 46 degrees. My cat sits by the screen, sniffs and sighs. "Ah, yes!" she coos. "I smell spring. It's not that far away!"

I can taste the cuteness when eating MINI chocolate chips!

Groundhog, schmoundhog... All I know is that I have to pay my rent today before I see the LANDLORD's shadow!

Happy Feb-ROO-ary. Walt said it! Who remembers this 1974 episode?

Please, love them NOW. Yes, feeding and cleaning up after a pet can be tiring. They don't always time their needs when we aren't busy. But they don't last forever. They are here for you now. Appreciate the blessing while it's here.

Feeling maternal, might delete later. 👑 A handmade birthday card for my one and only. Made with nib pens and my medium of the moment, Derwent Inktense pencils.

Satellite imagery indicates people across the intersection pointing and waving. Signs include: ANDY ROCKS HI, MOM and BLUESKY STARS 2 BE

Kudos to the USPS workers who manage to read mailing addresses on those dark-red Valentine's envelopes!

February is cold. February is WINTER. So, why don't today's cupids wear clothes?

Thank you, Doug. You have a great batting average for FUNNY! My cat plays "Turn Back the Clock" after spewing up a hairball. Sort of a quick forensic study. Then, before exiting, she gives herself an Olympic score.

People need to do a better job celebrating their days off. I vow to practice all weekend!

Plan to give YOURSELF a Valentine this year.

OPINION: By February 1, all food stores should be paying us shoppers for taking pumpkin spice products off their hands.

Found a brand-new (opened in November) family-run coffee shop. Whenever you can, remind the indie-business Davids that they can slay the Goliath Starbucks franchises, simply by being themselves.

Great seasonal idea: All those unclaimed candy canes? Rebrand them as... Valentine Barber Poles!

I shall be asleep before the ball drops. My cat said, "If they drop the ball, it's MINE. I shall swat and chase it all night long."

Scientific finding: gingerbread coffee tastes great after Christmas, too. It's that half-price aroma that gives it staying power. Everything tastes better at a discount!

Looking into the eyes of my cat, I wonder if I rescued her, or vice versa? We wish all cat (and dog) people a blessed holiday.

Do me a pre-Christmas favor, please. Don't tell any more kids with December birthdays "you'll make it up to them at Christmas." I have met so many sad adults who were ignored as kids, even though they never got to choose the month they were born in!

Someone update me, please. Has anyone ordered a new book from Amazon that has been delivered in a safe, adequate package? Such as, a padded envelope or box My hardcover journal came in clear shrink-wrap with the shipping label stuck to it. Yes, the cover got crunched. How bloody wasteful.

Big stores should offer Happy Hour for shoppers every December!

Thank-you notes after Christmas won't be hard. That is, if you start NOW by posting your thanks. Some of my best finds of the day look like mini ESSAYS. Thoughtful posts take time to construct. I appreciate every person here who does that. You're all star "skeeters."

audhdhumor.substack.com/p/home-alone... Check out my new post, please!

just said goodbye to this guy

Heck, yeah! I'd drink to that. Nice work, Scott!

audhdhumor.substack.com/p/home-alone... Check out my new post, please!

Thank-you notes after Christmas won't be hard. That is, if you start NOW by posting your thanks. Some of my best finds of the day look like mini ESSAYS. Thoughtful posts take time to construct. I appreciate every person here who does that. You're all star "skeeters."