She walked into the room with the ease of a well-lubricated suppository. This was a woman who had tried all the angles and decided she didn’t need any of them. She cast a shadow across my desk like a chrome-plated banana and I knew whatever trouble this dame got me in, it would be frictionless.

I have lived and worked in and around Chicago for 27 years and I have been assaulted less often than Sen Paul has been in his own back yard.

Like a swim meet between a dolphin and a cement block. www.nytimes.com/2025/09/28/o...

We need to return to making cheap-ass fantasy movies about Heroes With a Real Weird Weapon.

This week’s GBBO has me asking, what the fuck do the British call a flapjack?

The man’s blood alcohol level has finally achieved the fabled stable 3.0 percent to really believe he had a good idea with this one.

Hola, amigos. It’s been a long time since I rapped with ya.

These fucking idiots. Just going through life with a bucket wedged on their heads and surprised every time they bonk into a lamppost.

It’s weird to see the double-sided effect of this administration shock and awe tactics. When you flood the zone to prevent anyone from getting a grasp, all your bullshit gets washed away too.

Writing “eggs, milk, butter” on bullets then firing them at the grocery store so I don’t have to bring a list.

He’s actually right in that the carbon footprint was popularized by BP’s ad firm as a way to push environmental responsibility onto the individual and absolve the petroleum industry and other corporate polluters.

It must be so surreal to live in any other country right now and watch the world power of the last century just self-immolate spectacularly.

Not that a certain strain of religious fundamentalist requires solid theology to get the shivers and the shakes over their own weird notions, but learning the whole concept of the rapture is less than 200 years old and based on a misreading from the most dubious book of the Bible is illuminating.

Giant celestial bears perched along the edge of cumulus clouds to catch the raptured as they wiggle towards the sky like salmon.

They couldn’t have picked two worse representatives for health reform if they had gotten Stumbling Toxic Waste Guy from Robocop.

Burning our entire federal public health infrastructure to the ground for this wobbling flan.

I can no longer take the moral high road and say I’m avoiding The Mandalorian and Grogu in solidarity with free speech when I wouldn’t see it anyways on account of the last season being absolutely gawdawful.

“I’ve finally compiled all the Asian film studio logos from 1955-1985”

One week early for our Patreon subscribers: recorded LIVE at Retro World Expo, @jparish.bsky.social @hg101.bsky.social & @johnandersen.bsky.social take you back to 1985 for a NES launch lineup hootenanny Sign up & listen here: www.patreon.com/posts/139440...

There’s not much, you can tell they rushed to get this together. It’s mostly an unbroken scene of The Mandalorian explaining to Grogu that, while he didn’t agree with a lot of what the Emperor said, he respected him and he was pursuing peace in the galaxy at any cost the right way.

Going to see Pulp tonight

I could never understand people who were hopelessly devoted to their terrible, awful dogs but our cat is completely shitty and I love her so much so I guess now I get it.

It is funny a company that has made its fortune on telling stories about doing the right thing, no matter how hard, no matter the cost, no matter the danger are just absolutely going all in on, “Yeah, but that’s just make-believe!”

I wonder if we’ve actually seen the limit of how far a populist movement can go that provides only racism?

This Week's Onion Magazine:

I’m enjoying the responses to this because I didn’t know about Matthias and I just like thinking JC kept a deep bench of alternate apostles in case one did a heresy or betrayal.

Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy, and paste commands, dies at 74

Just the saddest damn Alf you’ve ever seen.

Fucking right on.

The fun thing about Minnesota is whether you’re putting away your ice scraper and snow shovel or your air conditioner, it’s always too early.

Congratulations to the new FBI director, Laugh-Cry Emoji.

I’ve been completely average my whole life and am still wasting my life on the phone. It’s a big tent.

Beep Beep. Who’s got the keys to the jeep? Vrooooooooooooooooooooom

It’s so strange that conservatives thinks they can run a clean pogrom against all their enemies with no mess when the right has demonstrated multiple times they are just as willing to destroy their own for perceived wrong think.

I’m pretty excited by this. I was showing my kid the original Galaxy on Wii, and while the art direction remains immaculate, on modern tv’s it looks like it has original Star Trek levels of Vaseline on the screen.

Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus

In the dark world of tomorrow, even the cats have jobs.

The best side effect of Trump’s deep vein thrombosis preventing him from escaping to Florida lest his withered heart explodes mid-flight is he’s forced to stay in a city where everyone hates his guts.

Federal immigration agents were seemingly forced to retreat from a roofing job site in Rochester, NY, after being confronted by more than 100 protesters The workers stayed on the roof and agents drove away in a Border Patrol SUV on four flat tires, which had been slashed

Administration illustration: AI, soft-brained, cruel and worthless Resistance illustration: Human passion, requires time and dedication, looks rad as hell

An immobile Mario, supported by his friend Yoshi, embarks on speaking tour to educate the public on the dangers of polio before vaccines were available.

I know this post has all the journalistic weight of me saying I’d like an ice cream cone, but it would be so so so damn cool.

That’s right, two out of five golden toilets!

One week early for our Patreon subscribers: @feitclub.bsky.social @lostturntable.bsky.social & @drewgmackie.bsky.social talk L.A., CGI, and ACAB in this podcast about Terminator 2: Judgment Day Sign up & listen here: www.patreon.com/posts/138382...

The eager embrace of AI slop is a major symptom of the spiritual hollowness at the center of popular religion.

For sale: sex maze, never solved

True Blood’s opening credits told such an evocative southern gothic soaked with blood, sex, faith, and violence the show just kinda got in the way afterwards.

Arsonist bemoans house fire

Yes, I hope you all feel awful for having FUN on the INTERNET.