damn tl is bad and news is bad. bad vibes on here today gang. i will keep my promise to only ever tweet about inanities

unfortunately the teenage boy inside us never dies (i recognized a black keys song playing in the waiting room)

james joyce carol oates. is this anything

why is it so hard to buy basic things (clothing, glasses, etc) that AREN’T made with child and/or poverty wage labor

my cosmo t-girl arrived and oh my GOD is it hilarious and spot-on

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to me, the height of comedy is the mechanicals performing pyramus and thisbe

Whoops! I Had Two Drinks And Now I’m Smashed!

Uh-Oh! I Drank Too Much Coffee And Now I’m Vibrating So Fast That I Can See God!

i opened an apple music playlist of dad rock and it’s not like, credence clearwater revival and eric clapton, it’s arcade fire and the decemberists. so if you need me i’ll just be over here perishing

it has been 0 days since i last transvestigated pete burns

intellectually? i know dog sitters say the same thing to all dog owners. emotionally? i fully believe my dog IS the sweetest and cutest of all dogs they know.

to what extent is it common knowledge that disney’s sleeping beauty’s “once upon a dream” is fully lifted from from tchaikovsky’s sleeping beauty’s waltz?

who invented headaches. i would like to have a word

donna summer is the GOAT

in most ways i have gotten older and set aside my childish things. however it turns out Lord of the Rings still fuckin slaps

🎶 mouse house, in the middle of the woods 🎶

if dishes were fishes all the beggars would ride

libraries are so goated

nothing quite like a bowl of simple cacio e pepe on a night when youre too wiped to cook anything that takes more then 10 minutes

the canonical version of Santa Baby is miss piggy’s cover m.youtube.com/watch?v=cdP1...

bro hector just shouldnt have killed patroclus. boom totally different ending to the trojan war

if I had a nickel for every they/she nonbinary lesbian cousin age 24-25 who has converted to judaism id have two nickels. which isn’t a lot but its weird that it happened twice

i switched mid-year from spotify to Apple Music so my wrapped is only for like six months. that said my overall taste is certified Gay Guy ™️

absolutely insane that everyone in the Iliad is constantly stripping their fallen foes’ armor and weapons in the middle of active combat on the battlefield. skyrim-ass mechanics

i see anti-consumerist black friday posts and am like “yes but this is when i stock up on underwear and socks!” and then the posts continue on to talk about people buying tablets and the latest phone model and brand name thingies i have never heard of and then i am like :0

having been vegetarian for 11 years, I now (a) couldn’t cook a turkey if my life depended on it and (b) forget that turkey is the traditional centerpiece rather than mac&cheese

WHO put barbarella in the historical fiction section

oh man nothing drives me personally up the wall like casual friends dropping “feminist” takes that are slightly dressed up versions of “woman good man bad”

stretch selvedge and zips on high-quality-leather boots are offensive

steaming broccoli 😵 roasting broccoli 😋

watching the local news and an honest-to-god televangelist ad came on. what the actual fuck!! I have never seen one in the wild and did not think they still did these!!!

bought myself an expensive new dick woooooo happy early holidays to me

it’s honestly so based that both my parents hate cops

every millennial at this wedding just had a spiritual experience on the dance floor screaming along to Thnks Fr Th Mmrs. we were all turning to each other after the song like “did you feel that”

ive been watching the x-files and man the politics of this show are weird. “the government is lying to you and there are big shadowy conspiracies” but also “we’re fbi and we love being cops and trying to get the death penalty for perps we capture”

what does it mean to “slam your body down and wind it all around”. what motion is this describing

🎶 whoa-oh, we’re full of dread 🎶 🎶 whoa-OH, hanging on by a thread 🎶

sunset today was at 4:48pm and it’s not gonna get later than that until January 19 2026

this pre-movie movie theater playlist is an insane set of aughts arcana. muse’s supermassive black hole followed by Macklemore’s thrift shop followed by the decemberists’ mariners revenge song. did i walk thru a wormhole

as someone who grew up in yankeesland and then lived my adult life in giantsland, the dodgers are my Mortal Enemy and i am full of pain-anger-sadness

let’s go blue jays!!!

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I swear to god I’m gonna go to bed and wake up in the morning and the game will still be going and they’ll be on like inning 57

LETS GO VLADDY

my instagram is showing me a reel of a normie lookin woman being excited about putting on an adidas-branded latex outfit. the normies already took puppy play from us via sabrina carpenter, are they taking latex fetish gear from us too ???

retirees’ blogs about the local gossip is actually incredibly helpful for this election

it’s bonkers to me that I am allowed to vote for port commissioner (boring manager of local port staff that requires real skills in budget management, knowledge of port stuff, connections to local business…) instead of this being a hired position. while I can’t vote for like. nyt opinions piece guy

doing my civic duty (watching a zoom recording of two retirees running for local Port Commissioner discussing their platforms)

just caught two mice in a trap and drove five miles to release them at the county park. they looked so aggrieved as they crawled away that they were being evicted. and honestly they’ve probably lived here longer than i have