It’s my birthday today and look at what my wonderful family bought me to mark the occasion! Signed by the great man himself. SHEARER! 🙋🏻‍♂️ Three points later would be nice too, if I’m not being too greedy… #NUFC

Rubbish #FACup final settled by a great goal.

#FACup final attendance 6000 odd less than the capacity of Wembley?!!! Easy to judge the two sets of fans, but how much were the tickets if Chelsea and Man City can’t sell out their allocation?

#FACup final won’t be nearly as entertaining as the Celtic v Hearts game. Hard to get excited about a game between two teams allowed to spend as much as they want to transform their fortunes on and off the pitch before #FFP #PSR #SCR

Not a boring game, but a boring outcome for Scottish football, unless, of course, you support #Celtic Unlucky #Hearts

Krafu turned out to be a pretty dependable squad player, when he wasn’t injured. And that’s the shame of it, he would have played a lot more games if he had stayed fit a bit more. I thank him for his service and wish him well for the future. #NUFC

Not a big fan of #Eurovision yet somehow I always end up watching it. 🤔

Michael Carrick nominated ahead of Emery! 🤔 He’s done well, but that has well and truly raised my eyebrows! Very surprised Emery hasn’t been nominated - could yet win the Europa League…

Difficult not to compare ourselves with Villa. Feels like we’ve been on a similar trajectory for a while now. Got ahead of their curve last season, but this season has been a very different story. Fair play to them, but it feels like their achievements this season amplify our failures. #NUFC

I’m not even sure the FA Cup final is the biggest game this weekend. It can probably be argued that Celtic v Hearts, Newcastle v West Ham, and Arsenal v Burnley are all more intriguing games for what the results would mean. The magic has well and truly faded. #FACup

When the ball is dead and the game is stopped #VAR should be limited to 60 seconds to review anything they think the onfield officials have missed or got wrong. If they’re not 100% sure that they should recommend an onfield review then you simply go with the ref and play on.

Mainstream media reporting that David Beckham is the UKs first sporting BILLIONAIRE like that’s a good thing…

Jurgen Klopp, from the land of Reinheitsgebot, advertising the American piss that is, Budweiser. Shame on you. #GoodBeer

Boro v Hull would be a good Championship playoff final. And Boro or Hull would be preferable to Southampton in the Premier League next season. Don’t need another south east/south coast team in the Premier League. #NUFC

Six

#VAR is being used to re-referee every phase of play that leads up to a goal. It has shifted away from the principle that it should be used to overturn CLEAR and OBVIOUS errors. It is now commonplace to take 3, 4, 5 minutes to forensically analyse incidents from multiple angles. What a mess.

The crazy place we find ourselves in with VAR is that you could probably make the argument that the ref should have disallowed the #WestHam goal and awarded West Ham a penalty… #VAR #Arsenal

VAR were clearly not thinking about the entertainment value of Mikel Arteta’s post match interview if that West Ham equaliser had been allowed to stand. Disappointing. #Arsenal #WestHam #VAR

Wow, big call. Looked like there were a few fouls being committed, including Rice on Mavrapanos, so should VAR be recommending an on field review? #Arsenal #WestHam #VAR

Sorry. I won’t have another naughty thought this season. Promise. #NUFC

Had enough chances to take that away from Forest, and we need to score at least two before conceding to have any chance of winning a game! Very frustrating! #NUFC

My thoughts ahead of the game today, now we’re basically safe… Eddie should feel like he can try something different, i.e. changing the shape to accommodate big Nick. The players should feel like they can relax a little and all the pressure’s on Forest. #NUFC

Sunderland should have beaten Man Utd today. Great chance for us to move above them if we can beat Forest tomorrow. Mind you, didn’t think our season would boil down to this with three games left to play… #NUFC

At the top of Reform is a privately educated son of a stockbroker, a man who can’t be trusted as far as you can throw him. At the grassroots level of Reform are people with links to BNP & EDL. This is who Gateshead has voted for. Sad times.

Forest have been poor tonight. They’re going to beat us on Sunday, aren’t they? #NUFC

Gutted for Lewis Miley, but at least this didn’t happen in preseason training. Hopefully he’ll be raring to go when everyone reports back in July. #NUFC

I’m so glad we beat Brighton yesterday because I had a feeling Spurs would get something at Villa. My mental health would not have tolerated a Toon defeat and a Spurs win this weekend. #NUFC

A roast post with the most. #RoastPotatoes

Starting my day of football viewing with a coffee stout. Tasting notes on the label suggest it’s complex, but smooth, just like me.

I’m having a naughty thought… Imagine if we won our final three games and finished on 54 points? To be fair, I reckon they’re all winnable games, but I’m probably getting a bit carried away after our first win in five games! #NUFC

By the way, anyone complaining that we were lucky to beat Brighton should watch the Brentford-West Ham highlights. 3-0 to the home side suggests they won it easily, but WH were unlucky not to score 3 themselves. Fine margins at this level. A win is a win is a win. #NUFC

I’ve woken up in a good mood, for a change. The Toon won yesterday and I had a thoroughly pleasant evening watching The Prodigy at the arena. Didn’t have much to drink either, so feeling pretty fresh too. Oh, and no work tomorrow! Cashback! #NUFC

Ridiculous, I know, but I’ve been feeling anxious all afternoon. Couldn’t be there today so decided to avoid all updates. What a relief to find out the score! Big win for Eddie. #NUFC

Oh well, just a 5 minute cameo for them when we’re desperate for a goal in added on time… #NUFC

Another ridiculously soft handball penalty for PSG in the Champions League. Good game though. #PSG #Bayern #ChampionsLeague

This makes you think he should have great feet and brilliant dribbling ability, but he looks like he doesn’t know which foot to use half the time. #NUFC

I officially declare the steak grilling season open, in the UK. #Steak #SteakOverCoals #SteakOnTheGrill

It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless you run it in under 2 hours, which is pretty much a sprint. #MarathonWorldRecord #LondonMarathon

I think he should play Wissa and Woltermade up top against Brighton next week. Don’t think he’s got much to lose trying it. #NUFC

We did alright there and didn’t deserve to lose, but if you’re only creating one or two chances in a game you have to take one of them…Wissa. #NUFC

I fear Eddie is leaving himself wide open for a barrage of criticism if the plan doesn’t work. #NUFC

Might stay on the sun drenched roof terrace instead of walking into Town to watch the match after seeing that lineup! Looks like he’s solely focused on defending set pieces. #NUFC

The weekend has got off to a good start. Nice weather and a great result for Forest down the road. Don’t ruin it for me now #NUFC

I’m sure this has already been done by now, but here goes… Donald Slump #DoTheTrumpSlump

I’m actually quite surprised that Chelsea have sacked Rosenior, but I shouldn’t be, should I? And so the summer managerial merry go round gets underway early. I wonder who else will be stepping on and stepping off… #NUFC

Are the Chelsea fans protesting against the ownership for spending TOO much money? #Chelsea

In charge for less than 5 years. First 3 full seasons in charge… 4th place (Champions League qualification) and a domestic cup final. 7th place with horrendous injury list. 5th place (Champions League qualification) and our first domestic trophy in 70 years. Yeah, let’s just bin him off. #NUFC

Imagine if we hadn’t conceded late goals in our last three games? Three 1-1 draws wouldn’t have shutdown all of the noise, but the cloud hanging over the club wouldn’t be so big and so dark. These are the fine margins in elite sport. #NUFC

I did this on my iPad. Let me know if you like it, or if you don’t. #IPadArt

As promised. Enjoy. #NUFC