While interacting with online spiritual groups, especially when there is one ‘teacher’ who dishes out the wisdom, it’s all too easy to gather a group of admiring followers who ate all to happy to gassho and gush at Roshi’s superior wisdom. That would go to anybody’s head, it’s a spiritual narcotic.

Checking in to Zen Buddhism forums, it’s hard to take a teacher seriously when he spends his time telling strangers on the internet that they don’t understand zen. To my mind, if you understand something then you can explain it, and if your explanation doesn’t help people, you don’t under either.

Whenever I see a YouTube video with an obvious AI generated opening picture I assume the rest of the content is also AI generated, and usually click ‘don’t recommend’.

Having been responsible for overseeing the intake of students now for about a decade, I’ve more than once considered closing the doors for good just to get a break from the stream of spiritual tourists. I can quite understand why Crowley instigated 5-years of silence.

One of the lures of the pseudo-mysticism of fascism and communism alike I the lack of personal accountability. “I did it for the cause” or “I was just following orders”. Responsibility is diluted in the mass consciousness of the movement in an almost religious bliss that is mistaken for freedom.

Over the years one thing I’ve come to believe is that there is no higher self, that it’s just me. That’s not say that the HGA is pure fantasy, but that he/it is neither some more powerful aspect of myself nor a separate but related angel sent to take care of me.

Of course you can’t tell them that they’re deluding themselves. If you try that then stubbornness kicks in and you become a threat to their worldview. Bob Marley had it right: “Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds”.

There’s a terrible irony in the fact that the need for independence and freedom that drive so much contrarian thinking are precisely the handles by which they are enslaved.

Contrarianism and a desire for hidden knowledge are common pathways into the occult and esoteric spirituality. However if we are to progress from delusion to real knowledge, at some point we have to develop a real sense of what actually is, and a lot of bullshit gets left behind.

One of the strangest aspects of Christian mysticism is praying for more faith or deeper love of God. I can’t help thinking that if God wanted me to have more faith or love then he would know what to do. So it seems that I have exactly the amount of faith and love that God wants.

While I can’t knock Outer Order practice as it’s undoubtedly useful and necessary, there seems to be a trend of assuming that the spiritual path is essentially an elaborate psychological process and that individuation = K&C of the HGA.

I have to wonder, with the positive attitude towards chemical inebriation in Thelema, whether the religion is essentially materialistic.from a traditional mystical position this is intoxicating the outermost, not the innermost, and liable to mislead, hobbling spiritual progress.

Over time what emerges in my consciousness is that Thelema was an expression of the Zeitgeist of the period to come (1913 to 1945) dominated by the fight between liberty and oppression, and the politics of that period were abortions of the New Aeon.

When Thelema gets mixed up with politics it falls to the same fate as communism. What looks good on paper falls fouls of human nature and becomes a tool of power and oppression.

The conditions of a solitary bird are five: First, that it flies to the highest point. Second, that it does not seek after company, not even its own kind. Third, that it aims its beak to the wind. Fourth, that it has no definite color. Fifth, that it sings very sweetly. Juan de la Cruz

Often I feel as though the path has stopped, that the angel has departed or perhaps never was, and that all is darkness of spiritual amnesia. But then, this darkness itself is an invitation to be alone, silent, and allow the soul to sing its dark song.

When I began the A.’.A.’. in 2010, the lineage wars were in full flow and it was easy to fall foul of the idea of ‘fake lineages’ and the ‘One True Order’ as if the at indicated that one particular lineage was the real deal. This caused self doubt at the time, but later I realised my mistake.

One thing humans are good at doing is locking the barn door once the horses have already bolted. I have a friend whose father only quit smoking after a terminal lung cancer diagnosis. Ecologically speaking we as a species are doing the same thing.

Saw a zen teacher today post on social media things like “the unvoiced conviction that this is sacred sitting” and “that one’s sitting is the Buddhas and ancestors sitting on the zafu”, and can’t help but think that’s a lot of abstract concepts to bring to the cushion with me isn’t it?

One of the most disappointing things about religious institutions, including Thelemic ones, is the level of dishonesty. People can’t be honest, not even with themselves, when it threatens their faith. To my mind, if your faith rests on unrealities then it deserves to be dismantled.

One of the key results of Liber Astarte was realising that my God was actually my own shadow distorted and projected onto the swirling temple smoke. After that you really have to change your ideas about God.

Just because you’re having a bad day or can’t get your mojo up that doesn’t make it a dark night of the soul…..definitely something I’ve had to tell myself occasionally.

I’ve had it in mind over the last few years to construct a Thelemic breviary, that is, a weekly and seasonal routine of readings taken from the Holy books and other key writings, in keeping with the hour, day of the week, and season. Based on Resh and daily planetary attribution’s primary.

If you can express your one key takeaway from Thelema, what would it be? For me it has to be integrity: that is, being honest with myself, and dealing with life on the basis, as far as possible, of reality as it is in itself, rather than as I would like it to be.

One of the things that comes to me through the oath is this, adopted practices learned in adulthood can become fluent and feel natural, and yet I still dream in my mother tongue. The task here is integrating what we as adults believe, with the souls language, finding the harmony within that tension.

Post K&C, a key task of the adept is the integration of cultural and social programming into something coherent. The light of the angel throws it all into sharp contrast, so you can’t ignore it. In short, the adept must deal with who and what he is on every level.

Question: if this profile is to be more than just my personal opinion outlet (after all, opinions are like arseholes), what would it be? In short, what would you like to see, and what would be worth your while reading?

On Fasting: it’s tempting to think of fasting as a form of self punishment akin to hair shirts and the celise. What is less widely known is that fasting is a technical requirement at two points in AA initiation.

All of us live in fantasy worlds to some extent. What differs is our commitment to extrication from the web of our delusions. It’s worth noting though, that in another sense it scarcely matters if we become undeluded or not. The universal dance continues either way.

A hallmark of fanaticism is the tendency to get attached to one point of view or idea so that it becomes a sort of idol. In the A.’.A.’. system we are obliged to take contrasting viewpoints as we traverse the grades, but it’s nota surefire cure. The world is sticky and we easily become fixated.

Ever find yourself trying to enlarge the text of a printed book by spreading your forefinger and thumb on it as it it were a tablet?

An early teacher of mine once related an encounter he had with the abbot of a monastery in the uk, as the guy was walking in the grounds, he told him: “Let go of false ideas, but don’t seek for true ideas, because there aren’t any”, before walking away with a self-conscious grin.

The meeting point of A.’.A.’. training and Zen is in Dhyana. This word is the same as the Japanese ‘Zen’, and in the A.’.A.’. this comes when the practicus is able, after preliminary training, to actually just sit in meditation.

In many cultures, suffering and death are taught as somehow virtuous. Christianity is full of stories of martyrs who win heavenly laurels for being skinned alive, burned etc. I can think of no greater perversion than this. Suffering is suffering and no about of sugar coating will change that.

One thing that aspirants should bear in mind is this: our emotions, feelings, opinions, are as much part of the exterior self as our fashion choices and social status. Ultimately these pass away and are done, but there is that which remains.

To be a Thelemite is to be yourself, nothing more. No need for any baubles or trinkets, no need to adopt an idealised attitude or persona. Thelema is radical authenticity in a world that wants us to conform to hackneyed stereotypes.

An LLM/AI girlfriend is the emotional equivalent of an inflatable sex doll. Without a doubt this tech is clever and useful, but sentient it is not. When we let ourselves be fooled by our own inventions we have strayed further from the path of wisdom.

The most invaluable lesson I took from Zen Buddhism is this: enlightenment isn’t a bolt from the blue rewriting your brain to make life more pleasurable, but a choice you make in each moment of life. The precepts show what this looks like in practice.

When you get to a point in the path where delusion starts to drip away, if you open your mouth about it you’re going to piss a lot of people off.

I briefly had a zen teacher, a self described “Zen Master” but he soon showed himself to be lost in delusion. If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a ditch. Nonetheless there’s a valuable lesson to be learned from such interactions.

I came to Thelema via Wicca, so it was only a small transition from Moon Goddess to Star Goddess. Other aspects, Hadit, Ra Hoor Khuit took longer to appreciate, mostly time and life experience helped.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from anti-Christian. I’ve drawn a lot of useful ideas from Christian writers over the years. But the way a person understands religion is often a reflection of their spiritual state, and barbaric, fundamentalist Christianity reflects those traits in the worshipper

I used to think that the Old Testament was barbaric and immoral while the New Testament was comparatively civilized and enlightened. But once you read it you realise that actually, beneath a veneer of loving forgiveness, it’s often much much worse.

I’m fairly convinced that the use of software to do our calculating has led to a decline in our capacity for mental arithmetic. Now that AI seems be everywhere, necessary or not, I can only see that we, being lazy, will farm our more of our capacitor thought.

"Life is like stepping onto a boat that is about to sail out to sea… and sink." ☺️ - Shunryu Suzuki (1904–1971 CE, Zen monk and teacher) #QuotesFromTheDead

The difference between Zelator and Adeptus Minor is like that between night and day, or the difference between reflected moonlight and direct sunlight. In short, you can see a little by moonlight but it’s not enough to grow a plant.

Thinking about the way I play music these days is a reflection of how I do a lot of things. I used to play as though it was a race to get to the last note. These days each note has its own special sound and nuance and what I really want is for each to sound good in relation to the composition.

The Holy Guardian Angel that the aspirant seeks, will in time reveal himself to be equally the Angel of Death. That is, the Adept knows full well that this power which governs his life, will in time lead him to the place of his death.

“Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am. That I will never fulfill my obligation to surpass myself unless I first accept myself, and if I accept myself fully in the right way, I will already have surpassed myself.” ― Thomas Merton

Of course, you might find that your True Self is a bit of a dick. In which case you’ve got work to do, welcome to the Inner College.